How Do You Know if Someone Considers You Their Best Friend? Get the Scoop on Your BFF

Co-authored by Tracy Carver, PhD and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: August 23, 2024 References

If you have a close friend that you really care about, you likely want to know if they feel super close to you, too. Thankfully, there are so many ways to show someone that you cherish their friendship. If you're wondering if someone considers you a best friend, this article is here to help. Read on for a list of signs that you're very dear to this friend's heart.

Things You Should Know

A best friend will be a constant in your life; they’ll reach out to you regularly and they won’t hold anything back when you two connect.
A best friend should be dependable, trustworthy, honest, and supportive.
If someone considers you a best friend, they’ll tell you how much you mean to them.

1

They text you all the time.

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Best friends spend a lot of time communicating. They won't leave you wondering where they are or what they're thinking for very long. Instead, they'll text updates on what's going on to keep you in the loop. These may include frantic messages after a bad date or funny memes that they think you'd like. If you don't text back, they'll likely double or triple-text you until you reply. ^{[1]
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Research source}
- This friend will text you first after they get asked out by their crush, and they may even send you updates from the date.
- They might frequently send you screenshots, memes, or funny YouTube clips that they know you'll enjoy.

2

They want to hang out often.

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In a tight-knit friendship, a friend will make time for you in their life. ^{[2]
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Expert Source

Tracy Carver, PhD
Licensed Psychologist

Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.} Does your friend ask you to hang out every week? Even every day? If the answer is yes, it means they really love being around you and enjoy spending time with you. ^{[3]
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Research source}
- If you're always the one initiating plans, that may be a sign that you're not quite as close yet.
- It's also possible that your friend is just a little shy about making plans.
- Reader Poll: We asked 992 wikiHow readers about which signs mean someone wants to be your friend and isn't just being polite, and only 9% of them said if they give you hugs . [Take Poll] Instead, regularly reaching out to you and making plans to hang out might better signal that they want to be friends.

3

They're there for you, even when it's not convenient.

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This friend drops everything to help you in their time of need. Whether you had a terrible day at work or you're going through a health crisis, a friend that really cherishes you is always there for you. After they've helped you, they'll call or text to check up on you just to make sure that everything is okay. ^{[4]
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Research source}
- Other things this friend may do to show that they care is bring you takeout, lend you a shoulder to cry on, or send you flowers and a note if they live out of town.
- Be wary of friends that seem to disappear when times get tough. Though no one is perfect, a true friend sticks by your side when life takes a turn for the worse.

4

They call you without warning.

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Best friends don’t need to schedule conversations. They'll call to ask a random question, make plans, or just to see how your day is going. In this day and age, phone calls are a little more scheduled. It's a good sign if someone is comfortable enough with you to call and chat anytime! ^{[5]
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Research source}
- This friend may call you out of the blue to see if they can pick you up and get ice cream.
- They might also call to ask a random question, like, "I just realized I don't know who your favorite band is! You have 5 seconds to decide."

5

They'll listen to you talk about anything.

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No subject is considered off-limits or boring. You may talk about the weird dreams you had the night before, funny experiences that happened during your family reunion, or the music playing in the waiting room at the dentist's office. Regardless of the subject, this friend listens to your stories and anecdotes like they're the most important thing in the world. ^{[6]
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Research source}
- To show that they're really listening, a true friend will pay attention when you're talking to them. They'll nod along as you speak, ask questions to learn more and keep their eyes on you instead of their phone.

6

They build you up and never bring you down.

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Besties encourage each other. They want to see you succeed, whether it's at basketball tryouts, your new job, or your personal dreams like showing your art in a museum. ^{[7]
X
Expert Source

Tracy Carver, PhD
Licensed Psychologist

Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.} Whatever your goals may be, this friend believes in you and makes it known. ^{[8]
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Research source}
- Someone that makes fun of you or belittles you are not treating you like a best friend, even if they say that's what you are.
Brene Brown, Author & Professor of Social Work

Real friends celebrate each other. "Good friends aren’t afraid of your light. They never blow out your flame and you don’t blow out theirs—even when it’s really bright and it makes you worry about your own flame."

7

They're honest with you.

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A true friend gives you real feedback. If this friend sometimes says things that you don't want to hear, that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't consider you a best friend. In fact, it may mean that they really care about you. Truly close friends know when to give someone advice or steer their friend in a different direction if they're concerned for them. ^{[9]
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Research source}
- Maybe you've been seeing someone that doesn't treat you super well. A friend that really values you would likely say something like, "You deserve someone that treats you with respect."

8

They never judge you.

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This friend doesn't make you feel bad about who you are. They know that your friendship means too much to judge you on something silly like the clothes you wear or the music you enjoy. ^{[10]
X
Expert Source

Tracy Carver, PhD
Licensed Psychologist

Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.} If you feel like you can say or do anything that comes to mind when you're hanging out with your friend, that's a sign that you've reached best friend territory. ^{[11]
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Research source}
- If this person makes you feel self-conscious around them or you feel like you can't be yourself, they're not treating you like their best friend.

9

They depend on you.

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Best friends help each other through tough times. They may ask for your advice, call when they're upset or overwhelmed, or depend on you for help with their schoolwork. Everyone asks for help in different ways. If you're the one this person calls when life gets difficult, you're likely very important to them. ^{[12]
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Research source}
- Your friend may lean on you for support after a gnarly breakup or ask you to quiz them all night for an upcoming final. Big or small, they go to you when they need anything.

10

They trust you.

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This person opens up to you about things they don't tell anyone else. Notice if your friend tells you things like their embarrassing middle school stories or even mistakes they've made in the past. Being vulnerable is a key component to close friendships. If this person is comfortable being themselves around you, you probably mean the world to them. ^{[13]
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Research source}
- Notice if your friend confides in you about their struggles and seeks your advice. Listening to your opinion and feedback is a clear sign that they trust you.

11

They tell you how much you mean to them.

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This friend doesn't leave you guessing about how they feel about you. They'll say thank you when you help them and express words of appreciation often. They may even give you thoughtful gifts or write you kind notes. Regardless of how they show it, they let you know how important you are to them. ^{[14]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source}
- This friend may make you a playlist to help you recover from a breakup, give you a comic book you've been dying to read on your birthday or write you a sweet postcard when they're on vacation.

Community Q&A

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Question

Is my friend an actual friend or not?

I_l1ke_gam3s

Community Answer

If your friend treats you with respect, understands your feelings in arguments, is there for you when you're down and always tries to communicate with you no matter what, you can be sure you have an actual friend. If your "friend" belittles, bullies, or repeatedly makes false accusations about you, they're not really a friend.

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My friend knows I am struggling in my life, but when we talk she is constantly telling me how wonderful everything is with her. She even talks over me sometimes on a different subject.

I_l1ke_gam3s

Community Answer

That's very disrespectful. She doesn't seem to care. Ditch that "friend" and find better ones.

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If they are jealous of you, are they your best friend?

I_l1ke_gam3s

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Absolutely not. Best friends are always there for you and will be proud if you do well.

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Expert Source

Tracy Carver, PhD
Licensed Psychologist

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How Do You Know if Someone Considers You Their Best Friend? Get the Scoop on Your BFF

Things You Should Know

Steps

They text you all the time.

They want to hang out often.

They're there for you, even when it's not convenient.

They call you without warning.

They'll listen to you talk about anything.

They build you up and never bring you down.

They're honest with you.

They never judge you.

They depend on you.

They trust you.

They tell you how much you mean to them.

Community Q&A

Tips

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