Q&A for How to Adjust to Being a Boy when You Really Want to Be a Girl

The first thing to understand is that if you feel like you're a girl, you want to be a girl, and you believe that you were supposed to be born a girl, then you ARE a girl. And you are just as much a real girl as any cisgender girl. If you see a girl that you want to be, try writing down the things about her that you want for yourself. Circle the things that you can do without your parents getting you in trouble, and take them one step at a time. Once it's safe, you can take the rest of the list.

Start off small and only wear feminine clothes around close friends or family with whom you are comfortable.

You can start by dressing like a girl and expressing your gender in a way that feels natural to you. You can also consider hormone therapy and gender reassignment surgery.

Be confident in yourself. If you don't want to tell your parents, you don't have to. A lot of males wear nail polish who are not trans, gay, etc. so you can wear nail polish all you like. Maybe try to find an online transgender community to help you with any other questions you may have.

Find somebody who does, even if that means moving out or simply blocking them out. You don't need them to accept you as long as you accept yourself.

If you do not have friends to talk to, go to your family doctor. In the UK you can go to your doctor at any age without telling anyone and talk about this to your doctor, and if your parents do not want to have to do anything to do with this, you can tell the doctor to not tell them and ask them if they know anyone that can help you. About not having friends, don't give up. Just be your best self and friends will come.

It is very normal to be scared to come out or even to be scared because you don't know exactly who you are as a person yet. Not only transgender or gay/bisexual people experience that. I hope you will feel comfortable about coming out>

You never should feel that you need to transition to be happy. If you don't think transitioning would make you happy, then maybe you can just continue living life as your preferred gender without having surgery. Do whatever you can to embrace your chosen gender as much as possible.

Going to a dysphoria clinic is the best way to go when it comes to starting your medical transition. If you want to be a mother you will have to store sperm, as after hormone replacement therapy you will likely become infertile. At 16 (at least in Australia) you are able to start hormone replacement therapy with parental consent and backing from the dysphoria clinic.

Why would you be embarrassed? A good first step in answering your own question is to answer this secondary question. If you feel you'd be embarrassed because others' opinions define you, then you need to deal with that. If, however, you feel you'd be embarrassed because you're confused about your sexuality, then step back for a moment and take a deep breath. Sexuality is a complicated, confusing subject, not something you need to settle absolutely right this moment.

There is no rush to discover who you are, so I would definitely recommend living as a woman for awhile to see if transitioning seems like the right choice for you. If so, then go ahead, but don't feel any pressure to transition if living as a woman doesn't feel right.

You can come out whenever you want! While it's true most people come out earlier, some don't due to fear of being judged, treated differently, being disowned or bullied. These people tend to wait until they are away from that situation and come out and others don't ever come out because they think it's too late in life. Normal is a social construct and you can come out whenever you feel comfortable to do so. Do what feels best. Hang in there.

Frankly, it depends on your physiology. I recommend seeing your doctor and asking them about this.

You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. I had a boy in my class and I had no idea he was transgender until he told me. Even if people find out, it shouldn't matter. The sex change is for your benefit, not theirs.

No one can tell you who to be. Think long and hard, and stare at yourself in the mirror and imagine your life as a girl. Make a list of the pros and cons of a sex change, and remember that even though it might seem like a nightmare at first, once it clears up, you'll be the happiest version of yourself.

Try to broach the subject by talking about someone you heard about who is transgender, for example, and see how they react.

Go at your own pace. Start whenever you feel comfortable.

Some people are born with this sense of being displaced in their given bodies. For others, this feeling emerges from trauma and early life experiences. Whatever the reason, it's possible to make peace with yourself. This could very well be a phase, as your parents say. Seek out counseling to help you work through your confusion.

Perhaps you could begin experimenting with girls' outfits, makeup, and whatnot. My guess is you're under 18 and living with parents who don't know how much you want to be a girl. Do you have any friends that are girls that you trust that would let you try on their clothes? Is there any makeup at home that you could use without getting in trouble? If there's an adult you can trust, try talking to them. Also, not all trans people have surgery, and your sexuality/who you're attracted to has nothing to do with your gender. Many male to female transgender women are attracted to other women.

I hope you have access to a therapist experienced with transgendered kids. Having a professional to talk to will help exponentially.

Make sure you meet the required standards, like age. If you meet the standards, and you are completely sure you want to get the surgery, schedule to talk to a doctor about you getting the surgery. If you really want this surgery, and get turned down by the first doctor, that shouldn't stop you. Try to get accepted by a doctor, even if it means having to go the next town, or even state, over.

Many people don't know that they're trans growing up. What matters is how you feel right now, and how you predict yourself feeling for the next part of your life. No one can decide who you are but you.

First, talk to your parents about this and other people who can help you (friends, counselors, doctors). Next, don't be afraid. If your friends and family support you, go for it.

A good tactic to expressing your feelings to your family would be to gather them in one room and tell them the truth.

It's okay to be confused. Explore yourself in different areas, but always be careful. Not because of people knowing, but because you might find someone that at the end doesn't mean to do something good for you. And overall, wear the skin that makes you the most comfortable and happy.

Time will tell. Give it some time, if after a while you still feel the same, then you will know. This is sort of a non-answer, unfortunately, but time really does let you know how you feel. Your mind can't be tricked perpetually. Sure, it could be a phase, an idea, a whim and a folly, but these don't last forever. In the end, what you want is all that matters. In life we have just two assignments: figure out what we want and find at least one way to get there.

Ask them if you can have a private conversation and tell them how you feel. If they don’t like the way you want to be then that’s fine. They should support you in any decisions that you make and you should feel confident about your decision

Only you can really decide that, but many people find talking to a gender therapist about these things is helpful.

Before you come out, make sure your parents are LGBT supporters. In extreme cases, some parents don't allow their children to live with them if they come out. Test the waters by saying that you're doing a school project on trans rights and you want their opinions.

Talk to your parents about your feelings. Explain how serious you are about this, and tell them how long you've known you want to be a girl. Ask them to make you an appointment with a gender therapist so you can talk it over with them. If they still won't help you, try talking to a teacher or counselor at school about this.