Q&A for How to Argue With Someone Who Thinks They Are Always Right

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  • Question
    How do you win an argument with someone who is never wrong?
    Maureen Taylor
    Communications Coach
    Maureen Taylor is the CEO and Founder of SNP Communications, a leadership communications company based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She has been helping leaders, founders, and innovators in all sectors hone their messaging and delivery for almost 30 years, and has worked with leaders and teams at Google, Facebook, Airbnb, SAP, Salesforce, and Spotify.
    Communications Coach
    Expert Answer
    It depends on the situation. If you're the one making the decision, then it's a benevolent dictatorship—you're the one who breaks the tie. You might say, "Listen, I hear you, but I really think it's going to be this, and that is the decision." If you're working with an equal, go back to the argument and try to understand the other person. Sometimes, it's not a win or lose situation, and you have to come up with some sort of agreement.
  • Question
    Why do people intimidate others in conversation?
    Community Answer
    Some people intimidate others because deep down they feel inferior, and intimidating others is their only way of making themselves feel superior.
  • Question
    What do I do if the person always brings up my past behavior to validate their argument?
    Community Answer
    Although any previous mistakes we have made can influence how a person thinks of us, it shouldn't invalidate our right to have an opinion or idea. It's important to stay calm and not be reactive when a person uses such tactics to argue their point.
  • Question
    How do I deal with someone who tells me one thing and then a week later, says they never said that?
    Community Answer
    You don't gain much by proving them wrong. They might actually have forgotten what they did or said. Arguing in this case would be pointless. The more you try to prove yourself to be right, the more defensive the other person will get and you'll both end up upset. However, if the person is trying to manipulate you, it may be time to end that relationship.
  • Question
    How can I help my wife not to be so defensive when I talk to her?
    Community Answer
    When your wife speaks, actively listen and reiterate what you heard back to her and then tell her your thoughts on it. Try to refrain from coming off as accusing or condemning her. Assure her that you just want to help, and you're not blaming her. If all else fails, you may want to seek couples' counseling.
  • Question
    What do I do if people offend me?
    Community Answer
    Remain calm, but let them know that you were offended. If they press on about that, just try to change the subject or politely remove yourself from the argument.
  • Question
    Can an acquired brain injury (minimal to left front lobe) cause people to be argumentative and always right? My husband has this old brain injury, and at 65 he was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's.
    Community Answer
    Any brain injury can certainly change a person's personality. Additionally, one of the first signs of Alzheimer's is irritability and argumentativeness. This behavior can be difficult but is fairly normal for a case like this. If you're not sure what's going on, consult your doctor.
  • Question
    How can I get my wife to stop arguing in front of the kids and blaming me?
    Community Answer
    Take your wife into another room, away from the children, and explain that it hurts the children when they hear their parents arguing. If there's no give and take, they are taught that bullying is the right way to win an argument.
  • Question
    How do I talk with someone about the tone and words that they use that anger me?
    Community Answer
    That's tough. Avoid mimicking the tone that's bothering you (which may come across as mocking) if you can. Patiently explain what you're hearing when that person speaks to you in that way and how it makes you feel. Even if it's not true (i.e. that person is intentionally trying to be hurtful), you can preface your comments by saying, "I'm sure you don't mean to come across this way, but..."
  • Question
    How do I deal with my boyfriend who is always shifting blame to me? For two years, every time we had a fight, it has always been my fault.
    Community Answer
    It's really hard to have a healthy relationship with someone who can't admit when their wrong. You've probably tried to talk to him about this, but it couldn't hurt to try again. Let him know how you're feeling and what he can do better. Consider couple's counseling to try to learn how to fight in a healthier manner.
  • Question
    How do I stop arguing with my parents?
    Community Answer
    Look at some of the recent arguments you've had with them. Try to see past the surface topics of the arguments (i.e. cleaning your room, hanging out with so and so, behavior) and see if you can identify the underlying emotions that trigger the disagreements. One way to do this is to analyze how you feel before, during, and after the argument. It sounds like you don't like arguing with your parents and that's a great thing.
  • Question
    How do I argue with somebody who is always wrong but always gets angry and refuses to accept it when they realize they are?
    Community Answer
    Try using less-threatening tactics. Instead of saying, "You're wrong," try, "Maybe there's another solution."
  • Question
    My husband says his choir is more important than me! What can I do?
    Community Answer
    This is a very touchy situation as the spouse should come first. You may be able to compromise with him depending on what it is that you are requesting. A successful marriage requires work on both parts. If you feel as if you are doing all of the work, you may want to address it with your spouse and possibly suggest marital counseling.
  • Question
    How do I argue with a friend who thinks they're always right?
    Community Answer
    Just explain to them that you do not want to spend your time with someone who always has to be right.
  • Question
    What do I do about someone who regularly disrespects me but always has a way to guilt trip me into feeling sorry for starting an argument in the first place?
    Community Answer
    Tell that person that you feel hurt. No one can argue with how you say you are feeling - It's like telling someone who says they feel cold that they aren't really cold. Use that expression of hurt as a jumping off point for connection.
  • Question
    My sister has been forcing her opinions on our family, and we're all getting really annoyed and hurt. We do love her, but she pushes and argues and won't let anyone refuse her advice. How can we tell her that we're tired of her behavior, but still love her?
    Donna Clements
    Community Answer
    You just do it. If you continue to hold back and hold it in, you are going to eventually blow and could end up with a severed relationship. I've been there a few times with my daughter. Now, the time to tell your sister how you feel and let her know the consequences if she refuses to respect others' views is NOT in the heat of the moment. You might have to "schedule" a powwow sort of thing to clue her in. Make sure everybody is on board with it and figure out your approach ahead of time. You DON'T want her to feel like she is being "assaulted" and that everyone's been lying in wait for her.
  • Question
    What do I do with a boyfriend who says I said things I didn't say, and when I tell him I didn't say it, we fight?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Don't fight. Something is true or false regardless of what others believe or say about it. If I say I like sushi, you don't know if I do or don't, and from your point of view it can be either. However, whatever you believe doesn't change my statement from true to false. If today you believe that I do, but tomorrow believe I don't, I won't suddenly find my taste in sushi will have changed. This is a measure of maturity in reasoning, debating and relationships in general. Try to make him see his logical mistake, but leave him for a more grown-up man if he fails to realize this. This is draining, and borders on psychological abuse.
  • Question
    My husband does not understand me. He discourages me a lot and tells me to act normal when I am hurt because of him. He doesn't understand that his behavior has hurt me. Rather, he blames me for this behavior of his. I'm tired of him now. I don't think I will be able to handle this any more. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Get marital counseling. Ask him if he loves you enough to commit to working on your marriage together. You will not have problems fixed overnight, but you want to be in a place where you are both able to look at the situation, see the same problem, and want to seek the same solution.
  • Question
    How do I argue with someone about something that is really stupid?
    Community Answer
    You don't. You laugh, smile, and walk away.
  • Question
    What can I do if I am always right?
    Community Answer
    Even if you are always right (which is unlikely), staying humble will help you keep your relationships. That is, maybe you should let other people "win" sometimes.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a partner that is unable to take responsibility and change their actions?
    Community Answer
    If this is an ongoing issue and they are completely unwilling to hear you out and amend their behavior when they've done something wrong, you probably should not be with this person, even if you love them. Giving couple's counseling a try could help, but some people are just not compatible. It sounds like your partner needs to grow up and gain some maturity before they'll be capable of being in a serious relationship.
  • Question
    What are personality disorders?
    Alice Gelderblom-Waddilove
    Community Answer
    If a personality can be defined as "the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character", then a personality disorder can be understood as a "deeply ingrained and maladaptive pattern of behavior of a specified kind, typically apparent by the time of adolescence, causing long-term difficulties in personal relationships or in functioning in society".
  • Question
    How do I deal with someone who won't listen to anything I say but keeps saying the same thing over and over again?
    Community Answer
    Redirect the words spoken by that person by asking a question. If you ask a question, you can make the person stop and think about what they're saying.
  • Question
    How do I deal with someone that I can't get away from but has petty double standards and can't be wrong?
    Community Answer
    You should just ignore them. I understand it's difficult, and if it doesn't work, just try telling this person to stop. You can also admit that they are right, even if you disagree. No need to keep up an argument if it is not needed.
  • Question
    What should I do if they're trying to make me feel bad about what I did when I shouldn't?
    Community Answer
    Tell them that you learned your lesson and you won't do it again. If they keep trying to make you feel bad, then the best thing to do is leave. Also, don't yell. It will only make the person you're arguing with more mad.
  • Question
    How can I argue with someone who is confrontational and sometimes behaves immaturely?
    Community Answer
    I have the same issue, believe me it isn't worth it. People like this are quite stubborn and do not listen. When they behave immaturely, don't show them you are annoyed, or they will see it as an advantage. It's better off not arguing with people like this. Figure out what kinds of things trigger your arguments with this person and try to avoid them.
  • Question
    How do I deal with someone who keeps insisting that he is right, even though I know he is wrong?
    Danni Brown
    Community Answer
    You first need to find out where this "Right Fighting" drive within this person comes from. Does he feel inferior to you and need to try to assert some superiority? Are you, perhaps, someone who is "always right," thus provoking this person to stand his ground even when he knows he's wrong, just so he can be "right" for once? Telling this person at a calm time how he makes you feel when he refuses to hear you will give you a good idea of where he is coming from with this behavior. If the person gets defensive and launches into "Right Fighting", then it's manipulation, and you should calmly point that out. If he is upset that he is making you feel afraid to voice your opinions, suggestions, or views, then he will check that behavior. Create a "You're doing it" word or signal so he can catch himself and stop.
  • Question
    How do I get a loved one to listen and try to understand my point?
    Community Answer
    Tell them that you love them but that you don't feel that they allow you to have a "voice." By saying this, you will either have made your point or they will ask you to explain. That gives you the chance to describe the pattern of their behavior that hurts you. Be prepared to give them multiple examples.
  • Question
    What do I do if I get interrupted every time I try stating my own thoughts?
    Community Answer
    Generally, try to be as composed and forbearing as possible. Make the argumentative person aware that you're being repeatedly interrupted. Start counting the interruptions politely while also attentively listening to the points they're making. Wait for the number that you can emphasise enough and then warn them that you're going to end the discussion or conclude that they're wrong if they interrupt you anymore.
  • Question
    My boyfriend and I always argue over small things that can be easily resolved if he listens to me but he escalates it into something big which according to him is my fault. How do I prevent this?
    Community Answer
    This sounds toxic, it will become an unhappy relationship if he doesn't respect you. If you really want try to overcome it, stay calm during any arguments. Let him keep talking, and collect your thoughts, then build up your argument. Also, always own up to it, if you realize you're wrong. However, if he still won't listen after he's said his piece, then he may not be capable of changing, so bear that in mind.
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