Q&A for How to Ask a Girl out if You're in the Friend Zone

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Is it possible to get out of the friend zone?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

It is possible if the girl develops more feelings for you. However, if they aren't interested in a relationship, reevaluate if you expect something more from your friendship or if you're genuinely their friend.

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What should you do if you fall for a good friend that you haven't seen for 8 months (but have communicated with over text), asked her out, and then received an email from her that said that she doesn't want to ruin your friendship?

Community Answer

You’ve already done the hard part of making yourself vulnerable and letting her know that you’d like to date her. Good for you! It sounds like you’ve also got your answer as well. The “ruining our friendship” excuse may or may not be the real reason she does not want to date you, but that doesn’t matter as much as knowing that she doesn’t. Bravo to you for being brave! Now use your new skills to go ask out another awesome girl.

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What should you do if you ask a girl out over a year ago and she says that she'll date you when she's ready? And what if you hang out with her as friends and flirt with her, but are afraid to ask her out?

Community Answer

It sounds like you’ve already asked her out if she’s told you she’d date you when she’s ready. She’ll let you know if and when that date arrives. In the meantime, keep being a great friend and open yourself up to other dating options. There are girls out there who are ready to date you now.

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What about if you're scared to ask her out?

Community Answer

That's a completely normal way to feel! However, by keeping your feelings to yourself, you might miss your chance with her completely. Even though it's scary, she's worth it.

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There is someone in my high school that I have class with. She always sits next to me when the person next to me is absent, and we always talk and joke on the way to our lockers after class. This is my first crush, but I'm sooooo scared! Should I ask her out?

Community Answer

Yes, you should definitely ask her out! From what you've described, it sounds like she's interested in you. If you never ask her out, you might miss your chance, and then you'll never know what might have been.

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My friend has been flirting with me, but she currently has a boyfriend. She told me that I'm her "next choice." Has she secretly wanted me all along? Does she want me instead?

Community Answer

It's very hard to say, because she's sending you mixed signals. Clearly, she's interested in you, but she also has a boyfriend, which makes everything very complicated. She's probably had a crush on you for a long time, but she chose someone else as her boyfriend. More importantly, though - you deserve better than being someone's "second choice."

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What if she says that she doesn't want a boyfriend right now?

Community Answer

If she doesn't want a boyfriend right now, you have to respect her feelings. Continue to be her friend. Eventually she'll be ready to date again and you'll be there when she is!

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