Q&A for How to Be a Lesbian

I think a lot of younger LGBTQ+ folks think that coming out is just going to automatically resolve any strange feelings or confusion you're experiencing. It may take a while for these things to resolve themselves, but trust yourself and be true to who you are. Things will make a lot more sense to you over time.

You don't need to do anything! If you're a lesbian, you're already doing it right. There are no rules or requirements when it comes to acting out your sexual orientation.

You don't. Everyone has their own way of "acting"--their own speech patterns, mannerisms, views and opinions, and so on. Simply be yourself, and never try to be someone you're not. People know when someone isn't genuine.

It'll be up to you to figure out whether you are gay or bisexual; are you attracted to people besides women? It may be time to examine other sects of your religion that are more open-minded about sexuality, and what various people of your religion feel. You shouldn't have to choose between religion and sexuality.

If the girl already knows about your sexuality, and is comfortable with it, you can try telling her how you feel about her. If she doesn't know your sexuality, consider coming out to her first. If she is okay with the fact that you are a lesbian, you can confess your feelings to her. If she is not okay with the fact that you are a lesbian, you may have to move or, or wait until she feels more comfortable/accepting.

From what you have just admitted, I would think that you're bisexual, since you're attracted to both men and women. You can be sexually attracted to both sexes while still only wanting to pursue one romantically.

Absolutely, rarely do bisexual people feel romantic toward both genders equally.

That depends on what any particular girl wants. You shouldn't change yourself, but instead see if she takes interest.

There's not really any definite way to tell, but there are some pretty good tips in this article: Tell if Your Best Friend Is a Lesbian .

There is nothing wrong with being nervous; everyone has gone through it at one point or another, especially when talking to the people they like. Consider talking about something that you are familiar with, such as a hobby or interest. You can also ask her questions and let her do all the talking. Lastly, try not to think about what their opinion of you might be.

No, there isn't a certain way to "act" to seem lesbian. Just be yourself, you don't have to behave in a particular way in order to advertise your sexual preferences, it's your choice to let people know. If you want to meet other lesbians, attend Pride rallies and marches or join local LGBTQ+ groups.

It is good to be yourself and if you think it is good to be a lesbian, then yes it is okay.

Search for one, go to LGBTQ concerts, youth groups, or events, and you'll find one eventually. You could actually have a lesbian friend already, for all you know!

You most likely won't know right away. If girls and guys both seem attractive to you, and you'd like to date both, that's a dead giveaway. You just need to give yourself time and wait, it'll come to you eventually.

This would be a very opportune time to tell, certainly, but if you feel like you'd rather not wait, just go for it. It might also be easier for her to digest the information slowly, learning first about your preference and getting used to it, then learning about your girlfriend, once you have one.

If you are a woman and feel sexually attracted to women and not to men, you are a lesbian.

Cisgender lesbians are capable of pregnancy, and transgender lesbians are often capable of impregnating someone. You can consider artificial insemination, adoption, or doing things the classic way if you're in a cis/trans relationship. There are plenty of lesbian couples who have babies.

Pick a perfect time. Do it when the moment feels right. Don't do it at a time when they're stressed or busy.

Yes, you can.

You can go online anonymously or secretly join an LGBT+ support group or something like that.

It is her choice and hers only.

This very much varies person to person based on what they like. Options may be participating in pride rallies, playing sports, watching tv, or just laying around cuddling. There are no rules in the lesbian world.

Of course not! Your age doesn't affect how you feel, or at least it shouldn't!

No need to be embarrassed! We all have a first time at everything, it's how we learn. Just tell her directly. She will almost certainly understand and be fine with it. If for some reason she has a negative reaction, she's insensitive and you shouldn't have sex with her.

Research it and see what you can come up with. There are two main definitions to sex, you know the kind where two people make love, while the other sex can mean what gender you were assigned at birth.

Yes! If someone is bisexual, that means they are attracted to both sexes. A bisexual girl would be attracted to women just like a lesbian would, so the two could definitely date.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter if your parents approve or not. It's your business! If you like women, then that's your own deal and your parents have no right to pressure you to feel differently. If you haven't come out to them yet, you don't need to. If you have a girlfriend and they ask, bring it up gently and causally. If they disapprove, try not to let it get to you. It's your life, and you'll be an adult soon enough.

No. Heterosexual fluid implies that you are attracted to men but wouldn't object to dating a woman. Lesbians are exclusively attracted to women and wouldn't date a man.

Gender identity and sexual orientation are independent of each other. Being MTF means you are a girl, which means that if you like other girls, you're a lesbian.

There's no cut and dry way to have sex, experiment and figure out what feels good to you and your partner.