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Q&A for How to Confront Someone Who Has Been Gossiping About You
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QuestionHow do you confront a gossiper at work?Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. Passionate about making Qigong more accessible to people, Frank is the author of "Qigong: The Quick & Easy Start-Up Guide." He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. He holds an MA in Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding from California State University Dominguez Hills.After talking to the person, they probably won't admit it, but this will make them realize that you're aware of the gossip. The individual will certainly think that going behind your back won't be helpful in the future, as it's going to get back to you and escalate the situation further.
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QuestionWhat to say to someone who gossips?Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. Passionate about making Qigong more accessible to people, Frank is the author of "Qigong: The Quick & Easy Start-Up Guide." He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. He holds an MA in Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding from California State University Dominguez Hills.The best way to approach this would be directly and politely. You don't really need to confront the person, but try to engage in conversation. Just give them a chance to respond.
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QuestionWhat do you do when your boss is talking behind your back?Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. Passionate about making Qigong more accessible to people, Frank is the author of "Qigong: The Quick & Easy Start-Up Guide." He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. He holds an MA in Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding from California State University Dominguez Hills.It may actually be helpful to go to their boss and report it. Don't cry or yell, though. The idea is to just go there and express your concern. Whatever the issue, make it clear that your habits or behaviors are being discussed in a group setting and let them know how uncomfortable you feel with this.
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QuestionHow do I face a gossip spread around by my closest friend that I helped and trusted?Community AnswerSimply confront them. It might be hard, but know that you are completely in the right and have a good reason to confront them, as they spread a rumor about you.
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QuestionSomeone accused me of gossiping, and every believes them no matter what I say. What do I do?Community AnswerFirst, stop defending yourself. Allow your future actions to show your character. To continue to address this just feeds the gossiping. Continue to watch your conversations and do not entertain those who gossip to you. THINK before you speak. THINK stands for True Helpful Inspiring Necessary Kind.
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QuestionWhat do I do if I confront someone and they want to know who told me they were gossiping?Community AnswerTell them that it is none of their business, and that if you told them, you'd be creating more gossip!
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QuestionI had a fight with a friend of mine. It wasn't a big fight, but afterward she started spreading rumors about me. What do I do?Community AnswerIgnore her. Cut her out completely. A real friend wouldn't do that. If she realizes she made a big mistake and apologizes for her actions, you can consider taking her back, but I would just avoid her in the meantime. Don't worry about the gossip. If someone asks you about the rumors, feel free to correct them, but don't say negative things about your "friend" in return. Just say, "That isn't true, I never said that."
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QuestionWhat if I gossiped and want to avoid further trouble?Community AnswerIf people interrogate me, just say something like "I misinterpreted whether it was true or not and I shouldn't have discussed it any further". If you hear something about the said person, keep it to yourself until there are true confirmed facts before you tell everyone. Even then, don't spread facts for malicious or mean-spirited reasons.
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QuestionA colleague was upset with me but accepted my apology. She still called my boss to complain and I lost my job. Now she's calling others trying to hurt my chance of getting a new job. What should I do?Community AnswerThat seems pretty awful of her if she accepted your apology. I would confront your former coworker directly - ask her why she accepted your apology if she was still hurt by your actions. See if the two of you can work it out that way. If she continues trying to ruin your life by preventing you from obtaining a new job, consider taking legal action.
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QuestionMy teacher yelled at me in front of the whole class. A few weeks later, people started taking about how it was funny how I got yelled at. I feel hurt that's people are talking about it. What do I do?Community AnswerIn this situation, it's going to be hard to ignore it. Teachers are not allowed to verbally abuse students; I think that what would be best is to talk with either that teacher or take it to the hands of the principle of your school. Let someone know, because this is bullying and it's not okay.
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QuestionPeople are gossiping that I made out with my coworker. That is not true. Now everyone in my office is giggling and looking at me funny when I pass. I am really depressed.Community AnswerIf someone asks you about it, simply tell them it isn't true. If you have a good friend or someone you're close with, you could ask them who is saying this about you, and confront the person. But it's usually best to just ignore it and be more mature than the gossiping people around you. These kinds of rumors usually blow over after a couple of days anyway.
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QuestionWhat do I do if my best friend and I keep fighting?Tom De BackerTop AnswererWho else would you fight with? Of course you're fighting with your best friend, that's what friends are for. However, you can let your friend know you want to decrease the time spent fighting and increase the time spent having fun. Also, talk about how to make fights more satisfying. I.e. if you're just yelling and screaming, you're merely exhausted and have learned nothing. Agree on a method and rules to use for arguments: "You speak, I'm quiet; then I speak, you're quiet", "first one to shout, insult or throw a punch, loses". Try to postpone the debate every time it gets heated. And most importantly: listen more than you speak.
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QuestionI have a friend who I am going to confront tomorrow because she keeps on causing drama. I have this other friend, and this girl I will confront doesn't want to be her friend. What should I do?Tom De BackerTop AnswererNot everybody has to like everybody. If you (person A) are friends with one person (B) and with another (C) you can't force B and C to be friends as well. If they're not, they can't demand that you stop being friends with the other. Just manage your time a little. Hang out with one, then with the other the next day.
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QuestionAt my daughter in laws baby shower, her mother sat at the next table talking to 6 other women, who (in unison) turn their heads or bend around others to look at me. Should I confront or not?Parker SumwaltCommunity AnswerIt is better to not. Confrontation would be awkward and would probably not do any good.
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QuestionI heard my best friend talking about me but it was a while ago now. Is it still worth it to confront her?chinyere offorCommunity AnswerLet bygones be bygones, If it happens again don't bring it up sometimes forgiving without the sorry is the best choice you can make.
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QuestionI've tried asking who is gossiping about me, and no one will tell me. What should I do?Please delete this accountCommunity AnswerIf you can't confront the gossiper, just ignore them. You don't always have to respond to rumors/gossip.
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QuestionI recently found out from my bff that one of my closest friends has been gossiping about me behind my back. Should I confront her, or ignore it?Please delete this accountCommunity AnswerIt's your choice, but it's best to ignore it. But, be careful. Your "so called BFF" could be lying to you. But, if they are telling the truth, you can confront them, but ignoring it almost always gets the gossiper to stop.
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QuestionPeople gossip about me that I have a crush on someone, which is not true, and I don’t want to lose my friendship. What should I do?Please delete this accountCommunity AnswerTry to ignore it. Ignoring it sometimes bores bullies, and eventually they stop.
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