Q&A for How to Deal With Disrespectful People

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  • Question
    What should you do if someone disrespects you?
    Nicolette Tura, MA
    Empowerment Coach
    Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Through her work, Nicolette helps high achievers discover their true potential and grow personally. She recently founded the non-profit Celestial Wellness Network and started a musical project, The Feather and Stone. With over ten years of experience in nonprofit leadership and running her own wellness business, Nicolette combines her background in psychology, mindfulness, and psychophysiology to create profound change. Nicolette has hands-on experience as a Therapy Associate, and has worked with patients recovering from neurological disorders. She offers one-on-one coaching tailored to each client's needs, with options for short-term, transformative engagements. Her personalized coaching sessions help individuals break free from self-limiting beliefs and achieve their goals. She completed a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University.
    Empowerment Coach
    Expert Answer
    First, allow yourself to have your initial reaction. It's important to acknowledge the hurt this person may have caused you. Next, ask yourself why their words hurt you and why this person's opinion matters to you. If they have brought attention to a self-limiting belief you may have already had about yourself, try to replace that with a positive. Think of these people as teachers, as they bring attention to something that you can address within yourself.
  • Question
    Should you confront a rude friend?
    Nicolette Tura, MA
    Empowerment Coach
    Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Through her work, Nicolette helps high achievers discover their true potential and grow personally. She recently founded the non-profit Celestial Wellness Network and started a musical project, The Feather and Stone. With over ten years of experience in nonprofit leadership and running her own wellness business, Nicolette combines her background in psychology, mindfulness, and psychophysiology to create profound change. Nicolette has hands-on experience as a Therapy Associate, and has worked with patients recovering from neurological disorders. She offers one-on-one coaching tailored to each client's needs, with options for short-term, transformative engagements. Her personalized coaching sessions help individuals break free from self-limiting beliefs and achieve their goals. She completed a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University.
    Empowerment Coach
    Expert Answer
    If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, I would really question the relationship or tell them how you feel. Try to surround yourself with people you can be yourself around.
  • Question
    How do you remain confident after someone disrespects you?
    Nicolette Tura, MA
    Empowerment Coach
    Nicolette Tura is an Empowerment Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Through her work, Nicolette helps high achievers discover their true potential and grow personally. She recently founded the non-profit Celestial Wellness Network and started a musical project, The Feather and Stone. With over ten years of experience in nonprofit leadership and running her own wellness business, Nicolette combines her background in psychology, mindfulness, and psychophysiology to create profound change. Nicolette has hands-on experience as a Therapy Associate, and has worked with patients recovering from neurological disorders. She offers one-on-one coaching tailored to each client's needs, with options for short-term, transformative engagements. Her personalized coaching sessions help individuals break free from self-limiting beliefs and achieve their goals. She completed a 500-hour Registered Yoga Teacher certification and is a NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist. She holds a BA in Sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a Master’s degree is Sociology from San Jose State University.
    Empowerment Coach
    Expert Answer
    Continue practicing self-love and self-care and really try to celebrate your uniqueness. If you're not sure what that is, think about the inner qualities you hold that you like about yourself. The more you can recognize those, the more you will radiate confidence.
  • Question
    My husband's friend talks badly about me behind my back. I always hear this afterwards from my husband. Should I confront his friend?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    If you don't have much contact with your husband's friend, confronting him directly may not be constructive. It might be more helpful to talk to your husband about why he continues to spend time with this friend, and ask why he feels the need to report his friend's hurtful words to you. Let your husband know that you would like him to set appropriate boundaries and ask the friend to stop badmouthing you to him.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a disrespectful son?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Explain to your son clearly and calmly that you find his behavior disrespectful, and let him know how that behavior affects you. Be specific about which behaviors you consider disrespectful and why. Let him know what the consequences will be if the behavior continues (e.g., "If you continue to speak that way to me, you won't be able to watch TV in the evening anymore"), and follow through with those consequences. Be kind, empathetic, and respectful to your son, and set a good example for him by modeling respectful behaviors with others.
  • Question
    How can I deal with a rude mother whose daughter is best friends with mine?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Minimize your time around the mother as much as possible, but try to do so without compromising your daughter's friendship. If you have to spend time with her, keep your interactions as civil as possible. Resist the urge to badmouth the best friend's mom to your daughter.
  • Question
    How do I deal with my neighbor who always disrespects my family?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Limit your interactions with your neighbor as much as possible, and try to stay calm and civil if you do have to spend time with them. If they say something rude to or about your family, ask them politely but firmly to stop.
  • Question
    How do I deal with bullies?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    If you are dealing with bullies at school or at work, let a teacher, administrator, or manager know what is happening. If you can, stay calm and don't give the bullies what they want by getting visibly upset or lashing out.
  • Question
    How do I deal with disrespectful family members?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Take the person aside and talk to them calmly and directly about how you are feeling. Don't be accusatory or use absolutes (like "You always . . ." or "You never . . ."). Instead, try saying things like, "When you talk to me like that, I feel disrespected and upset." Establish clear boundaries for what kind of behavior you consider unacceptable, and give them clear consequences if they violate those boundaries (for example, "I can't visit for the holidays if you pick fights with my girlfriend.").
  • Question
    How do I deal with a friend of mine who is taking my help for granted and at the same time is always putting me down and publicly criticizing my way of life?
    Community Answer
    That person is not your friend, and I'd recommend you start distancing yourself from them, or just cut them out of your life altogether. Someone who doesn't respect you doesn't deserve your help or your friendship.
  • Question
    My friend said an offensive joke about my wife. How do I handle this?
    Community Answer
    Stand up for your wife, tell him that's not funny and you won't tolerate him talking about your wife like that.
  • Question
    How do I react to a guy that talks to me as if I am a whore?
    Community Answer
    Tell him bluntly that you do not like the tone he is using with you, and tell him that you would like to be addressed as a perfectly normal adult.
  • Question
    How do I react to someone disrespecting me in public and coaching their children to be disrespectful to me too?
    Community Answer
    Tell them that they are insulting and to stop immediately. Do the same with the children. If it doesn't stop immediately, tell them point blank that you will never have anything to do with them or their children again and act accordingly. Don't speak to them. Don't invite them to your home. If you have to attend the same function, stay away from them.
  • Question
    How can I deal with a disrespectful roommate?
    Community Answer
    If they are really disrespectful and don't really care for your well-being or personal space and items, you should probably tell them and just discuss it with them calmly. If you're just too nice to point it out, drop small hints about it or subtly mention it from time to time and if they ask you about it after a while just say "Honestly sometimes you can be a little disrespectful." Remember be respectful when you say this or talk to them and keep it calm and orderly. If it continues, you may need to move or have them move out.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a disrespectful niece?
    Community Answer
    You tell her that her behavior is not okay, and that she should change. It might help to ask her why she is acting out/being disrespectful, to try to get to the root of the problem. Address her politely, don't get angry or be disrespectful back. If this doesn't work, and her mother/father are in the picture, bring it up with them.
  • Question
    How do I deal with classmates that keep putting me down?
    Community Answer
    Tell a teacher what is going on and/or just completely ignore them. If they don't get a reaction out of you, they will probably move on.
  • Question
    How do I deal with annoying family members?
    Community Answer
    You should ask them to stop or to leave your space, or you can walk away yourself.
  • Question
    Whenever my daughter-in-law asks for help, I'm there no matter how I feel, but on the rare occasion when I ask something of her, I get all kinds of excuses for why she can't help me. I find this disrespectful. How do I deal with this?
    Community Answer
    You need to explain to her that there must be reciprocity in a good relationship, and that while you don't expect her to help you every time you help her (as if in payment for your assistance), you hope she'll happily provide her support when you really need it. It's hard to force someone to do the right thing without creating even more tension in the relationship. Pray for God to open her eyes and help her be more considerate.
  • Question
    How do I talk with people who disagree with me?
    Community Answer
    Put yourself in their place, try to understand why they have said what they have, and work from there.
  • Question
    How can I deal with someone entering into my safe haven?
    Community Answer
    Tell them that you need your space, and ask them to politely leave you alone.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a disrespectful maid?
    Community Answer
    Let her know that her behavior won't be tolerated. If it continues, fire her!
  • Question
    How do I deal with a coworker who constantly interrupts when I'm talking to people?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    There are many solid ways to deal with this, from small to large: stop talking, wait for the person to finish, and without responding to the points, say something like, "So as I was saying" and return to your points. Or say, "Don't interrupt me, I'm still talking." Or address it directly: "Look, you keep interrupting me; that is extremely impolite, you must wait your turn until I am done talking."
  • Question
    How do I get a family member off of my land?
    Community Answer
    I suppose you can call the police if politely asking doesn't work.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a person who has disrespected and has laughed at a family member (my sister) who has autism and knows about it?
    Community Answer
    Stand up for your sister. Tell this person that their behavior is extremely disrespectful and unacceptable. If they continue to behave this way, ignore them. They don't deserve your time. If you're a kid/teen, tell an adult what happened.
  • Question
    I made an honest mistake jumping the queue because I was not aware there was a queue. I was verbally abused very loudly in a long tirade. Should I apologize?
    Community Answer
    Yes. The verbal abuse you got is the other person's problem; don't let it become yours. You inadvertently jumped the queue, no big deal. Simply apologize, go to the end of the line, and ignore the verbal abuse. Let the others be immature.
  • Question
    Is it true that I do not need to respect someone if they disrespected me first?
    Community Answer
    Personally, I believe that this is true. Respect is something that has to be earned, and it's also something that can be easily lost. However, sometimes it's better to continue respecting someone regardless of how they treat you, depending on your circumstances. (For instance, if a teacher is being disrespectful to you, then being disrespectful in return could get you into a lot of trouble.)
  • Question
    My best friend decides that he will punish me by either slapping at the back harshly, pinching my butt, kicking my crotch, etc. How can I respond to this behavior?
    Community Answer
    You should definitely tell him to 'please stop it'. if he is not listening to your words you should walk away and don't listen, if you think this is too far you can warn him that you will tell a parent or teacher and if he still doesn't stop, you should tell someone.
  • Question
    My spouse does thoughtless acts that hurt me. When I tell him he says he didn't intend to hurt me, but it continues in many areas of our relationship, from chores to finance matters. What can I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    When someone is hurt, intent is less important. If I call you a b****, we can assume you'll be hurt - even if I swear on my soul that I did not intend to. But if I say "Hi, how are you", and you're hurt by that, you being hurt is still a valid feeling and I have to take into account your feelings. You'd have to explain to me how on earth that could have insulted you, but if it did, then I have to take that into account. "I did not intend to" is not an excuse. You can't go running around hurting people and say "I didn't intend to" and let them deal with it themselves. If you're hurt, he must change his behavior.
  • Question
    My ex daughter-in-law feels entitled to leave her children with me constantly while she goes out and parties. How can I deal with her disrespect?
    Community Answer
    Try not to make negative assumptions about her. Instead, ask her why she is going out so much. If she explains and gives you a good, genuine answer, or if she's going through something, let her know that you understand and she's not alone in this. You can tell her you don't mind helping with the children, but she needs to find a balance in her life.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a family member who puts family news on social media?
    Community Answer
    Tell the family member you don't appreciate invasion of your privacy, and you are not comfortable having your news on display for all to see. If the person refuses and don't listen, then you will have limit the amount of time you spend around them and information you share.
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