Q&A for How to Get People to Leave You Alone

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  • Question
    How do you respond to an angry person?
    Frank Blaney
    Conflict Resolution Specialist
    Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. Passionate about making Qigong more accessible to people, Frank is the author of "Qigong: The Quick & Easy Start-Up Guide." He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. He holds an MA in Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding from California State University Dominguez Hills.
    Conflict Resolution Specialist
    Expert Answer
    It's always better to kind of diffuse and be demure, although some bullies or aggressors will feed off of that. Usually, though, you can kind of downplay the situation and be a little submissive in your tone to de-escalate the situation.
  • Question
    When should I leave a violent situation?
    Frank Blaney
    Conflict Resolution Specialist
    Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. Passionate about making Qigong more accessible to people, Frank is the author of "Qigong: The Quick & Easy Start-Up Guide." He also holds a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Jujitsu and trains executives and staff of corporations, NGOs, and communities in self-care, personal performance and conflict resolution. He holds an MA in Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding from California State University Dominguez Hills.
    Conflict Resolution Specialist
    Expert Answer
    Trust your gut, as our bodies process what we're feeling faster than our minds can process the situation. Forget social politeness. Your first and number one goal is to preserve your physical safety. Nine times out of ten, though, it's not going to involve any physical violence and all you should do is physically remove yourself from that space.
  • Question
    What if this person is being rude and keeps coming back?
    Community Answer
    Try subtly asking her/him why she's/he's acting this way. Sometimes people act out if they're having a bad day or if someone let them down. If those aren't the reasons and the person is just picking on you, you should ask the person to stop. If he/she doesn't stop, make it clear that the behavior isn't welcome.
  • Question
    What if someone is just a plain jerk and doesn't leave? What should I do then if nothing works?
    Community Answer
    Just walk away from them and don't turn back to say anything. If they follow you, then continue to ignore them. Eventually they will get bored.
  • Question
    There is this girl and she sends me pictures of things that scare me. How can I make her stop in a polite way?
    Community Answer
    Block her number. Tell a trusted adult, such as a teacher or a parent.
  • Question
    My brother threatens to beat me up if I don't play with him. How do I get him to stop bothering me without getting beat up?
    Community Answer
    You need to tell your parents about this. They should keep your brother in line and prevent things like this from happening.
  • Question
    What can I do if they won't leave me alone?
    Community Answer
    Ignore them some more until they tire of you. Avoid being in their presence when possible. Surround yourself by people you do want to be with and use them as your "shield" against the unwanted. Bury your nose in a book or a phone game if they hover and annoy you -- pretend you hear nothing.
  • Question
    My parents won't leave me alone and consider it disrespectful whenever I try to block them out; what do I do?
    Community Answer
    Talk to them about your need for down time and solitude and their need to intrude. It's a two-way problem and each party needs to understand the feelings of the other side, so that you can all find a reasonable compromise. Don't just shut them out, that will make things worse. Talk it through so that there is a baseline understanding and they at least know your need for alone time isn't directed at them.
  • Question
    How can I let people know that I do not like them?
    Community Answer
    Responding with short answers and avoiding eye contact will do the trick pretty quickly.
  • Question
    How can I get my parents to stay out of my room?
    Community Answer
    Every time they walk in your room, grab a blanket and yell "I'm naked! Get out!" You can also refuse to wash your sheets so that it smells bad in there. Or leave stuff all over the floor making it hard to walk in there. Your best option though is to have a family meeting and ask that family members stop going into your room without asking first and say that you cannot stand snooping or going through your stuff, so if anyone wants to know something to ask you and have honest discussions instead.
  • Question
    What if someone doesn't get the hint that I want to be left alone?
    Community Answer
    In that case it is better to be direct. Politely convey to them that you are no longer interested in speaking or interacting for now.
  • Question
    What do I do if my ex-father keeps trying to show up and be part of my life? I don't want him in my life.
    Community Answer
    Just tell him how you feel. If you don't want him in your life, it's your choice.
  • Question
    How do I get my parents to leave me alone?
    Community Answer
    Follow the instructions listed in the article above. Ask them for some space and privacy.
  • Question
    What if the person who won't leave me alone has a strong boundary issue with me?
    Community Answer
    Stand up for yourself and your boundaries. If they still won't leave you alone, and you're a kid/teen, tell an adult. If you're an adult, consider talking to the police and filing a restraining order.
  • Question
    What do I do if I don't have a reason for wanting to be alone?
    Community Answer
    If you want to be alone, that is your reason and it is enough. Everybody needs to be alone sometimes. If that reason is not good enough for the person you're asking (politely) to leave you alone, maybe you don't need that person in your life.
  • Question
    What should I do if they ignore the headphones?
    Community Answer
    Try calling a friend or family whenever you know they may bother you. This way, they will probably leave you alone to talk, seeing as interrupting a conversation is rude. Another thing you could do is turn up the volume and pretend you can’t hear them. However, this may come off as rude in some situations, or they’ll touch you in some way to get you to notice them.
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