Q&A for How to Have a Conversation With an Elderly Person

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Question

How should I address someone who's elderly?

Justin Barnes
Senior Home Care Specialist
Justin Barnes is a Senior Home Care Specialist and the Co-Owner of Presidio Home Care, a family-owned and operated Home Care Organization based in the Los Angeles, California metro area. Presidio Home Care, which provides non-medical supportive services, was the first agency in the state of California to become a licensed Home Care Organization. Justin has over 10 years of experience in the Home Care field. He has a BS in Technology and Operations Management from the California State Polytechnic University - Pomona.

Justin Barnes

Senior Home Care Specialist

Expert Answer

Talk to them the same way you would with everybody. Avoid using a higher-pitched "baby voice" since it will come across as disrespectful.

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Question

Is it normal for grandparents to have trouble understanding?

Justin Barnes
Senior Home Care Specialist
Justin Barnes is a Senior Home Care Specialist and the Co-Owner of Presidio Home Care, a family-owned and operated Home Care Organization based in the Los Angeles, California metro area. Presidio Home Care, which provides non-medical supportive services, was the first agency in the state of California to become a licensed Home Care Organization. Justin has over 10 years of experience in the Home Care field. He has a BS in Technology and Operations Management from the California State Polytechnic University - Pomona.

Justin Barnes

Senior Home Care Specialist

Expert Answer

Yes, people often have trouble hearing and communicating when they become elderly. Just be patient because your grandparents still want to talk to you.

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Question

What do I call an older person when being respectful?

Community Answer

It's appropriate to address them by "sir" or "ma'am."

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Question

My daughter points out her mother's shortcomings and crushes her self confidence. Are there any "think before you speak" resources that I can point her toward?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

Imagine a stack of wooden wine barrels held in place by a plank which in turn is held in place by a pin. Her pointing out these things is equivalent to hitting the pin with a hammer. The inevitable result is that the barrels will come crushing down, and it will take a lot of work to stack them back up and tidy things up again. I'm sure you can find books online that can help you teach her this concept, but all you really need to do is show her the consequences of her actions in her mother's behavior toward her, how her own actions hurt herself, and how it is easy to hit that pin, or to insult her mother, but very difficult to fix things again. Explain it to her using this metaphor.

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Question

If I ask a question and it leads to nowhere what do I do?

Community Answer

Maybe find another topic to speak about or tell them that you didn't quite understand their answer and politely ask them to repeat themselves.

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Question

I often talk with my grandmother, but it seems I always end up hurting her feelings in some way. How can I talk with her without hurting her feelings?

Community Answer

Find out what it is you are doing that hurts her feelings and put extra effort into not doing those things.

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Question

How do I have a conversation with an elderly family member?

Community Answer

Ask them about their past and your family history, like their parents and grandparents, etc. You might learn something interesting!

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Question

I’m volunteering at an elderly center and I’m not sure what to do when they continue to say something too quietly, even if I ask them again. How can I solve this problem without being rude?

JennyMojo

Community Answer

Try to speak as loudly, or slightly louder than you need them to speak, and request directly, "Please speak louder, I can't hear you." Using their name is always important. Be mindful that they may have a medical condition that does not allow them to speak louder. If you need to, ask your supervisor or the volunteer coordinator for help and guidance.

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Question

My parents are leaving me for 5 days starting tomorrow. My step-grandparents are going to our house to say with me. I am not very close with them so how do I open a conversation?

Yew Ning Xuan

Community Answer

Try to start a conversation with them by saying things like: "How are you all?" or by telling them things you wished to do in the future and maybe what you have been doing in school. Show them where things are in the house and suggest they spend time relaxing in front of the TV, in the kitchen, in the garden, etc.

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