Q&A for How to Kiss a Boy for the First Time

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  • Question
    What's wrong with keeping our eyes open while kissing?
    Community Answer
    It's not "wrong" to keep your eyes open during a kiss; however, scientific studies have found that it's difficult to focus on physical sensations (e.g., kissing) when your eyes are focused on something else, so closing them helps you and your partner to focus on how the kiss feels. (There's also the fact that extended eye contact can feel awkward or frightening to some people, and when you kiss, your eyes are level with your partner's; if your eyes are open, you're forced to make eye contact.)
  • Question
    What if he backs away when I kiss him?
    Community Answer
    Backing away means he's not interested in kissing you - it's body language for "I'm uncomfortable with this" or "You're invading my personal space, please back away." Before you kiss someone, it's generally a good idea to lean in a bit and give the other person a moment before you actually go in for the kiss; if he takes the moment to back away, turn his head away or starts talking, that means he doesn't want to kiss and you should pull back.
  • Question
    What age do I have to be to kiss a boy?
    Community Answer
    It would depend on who you ask, but there's no real right answer. Some people would recommend waiting until you're in middle school or high school, while others might say to just wait until you feel ready. Talk to your parents about whether they have rules on when you're allowed to start dating, and don't feel pressured to kiss anyone before you're ready.
  • Question
    What if the guy is almost twice my height? He's so tall!
    Community Answer
    Get a boost if possible - hop onto nearby stairs, curbs, or anything else that gives you a height advantage, or use uneven ground to make yourself taller, and go on tiptoe when needed. Alternatively, try kissing while sitting down, since it'll decrease some of the height difference; you can even put your knees on the chair and "stand" on your knees if necessary. Don't worry too much about the height discrepancy, though - if he wants to kiss you, he'll lean in, so you won't need to put in all of the effort!
  • Question
    What if all my friends are pressuring my boyfriend and I to kiss, but it seems that he's not comfortable?
    Community Answer
    If and when you two choose to kiss is between you and your boyfriend--not your friends. If your friends keep pushing you and your boyfriend to kiss, but you or your boyfriend aren't ready or comfortable with it, set a boundary with your friends by saying something like, "Please stop pressuring us to kiss; that's between us" or "You're making us uncomfortable." If they don't stop, it's best if you spend time with other people who respect your boundaries. Nobody should be pressuring you or your boyfriend to do something you two aren't comfortable with.
  • Question
    I plan on kissing a boy I like whom I'm not sure likes me back. What's the best approach to kissing him while he's off-guard?
    Community Answer
    Don't. It might seem like a great idea in your head, but if you don't know if he likes you, you don't know whether or not he wants you to kiss him, which means you don't know if he consents. Kissing him if he doesn't want you to kiss him is bound to make things awkward or uncomfortable at best, and would likely ruin your relationship with him. Figure out whether he likes you first, and only kiss him if he likes you and is comfortable with kissing you.
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