Q&A for How to Know if You Are in a Parasitic Relationship

This is really about reinforcing your boundaries. Before discussing the situation with your partner, you need to establish what your own boundaries are and set the stage to find a kind of happy medium that satisfies you both.

Clinginess usually has to do with attachment styles. Oftentimes, a clingy partner has an anxious attachment style, which has a lot to do with past experiences from childhood and from dating.

Yes, it is okay to express that you do need a little bit more space and independence! If you feel like your partner is clinging and parasitic, give them the feedback and reinforcement they need to feel secure in the relationship. Follow through with your promises and make your boundaries pretty clear.

Try to change and become independent. If not, then try to find someone who can help you change to become less dependent upon your partner.

Then just leave him because you deserve so much better. He clearly doesn't love you.

Make your partner understand that future planning will take place later at the right time. As of now, you both should be like best friends focusing on your careers. Try and make him realize that life is more than just planning for the future. If he is understanding, he will give you your space. If not, it's time to rethink the relationship.

Parasites have to get starved out! If you stop pampering the parasite, he/she will first fight against this new and uncomfortable situation, wanting the comfort-pipeline back. Depending how vicious and asocial that parasite is (and how long and how much the parasite was fed), you can expect emotional manipulation, tantrums of any sort, threats, hot/cold treatment, mind games, theft, badmouthing, everything that fights against you as an independent person.

You could try going through couple's therapy together, but for the sake of your mental well-being, I wouldn't recommend trying to make this relationship work.

It's hard to characterize an entire relationship by just one specific thing like this, but if this sort of behavior is characteristic of the person in general, then probably yes. More than that, though, it's just unfair and strangely controlling. You get to decide how to manage your own money, and whether to share it with the other person. *Unless* the two of you had some prior agreement about sharing your finances, *or* the other person is staying home and doing significant housekeeping/cooking/childcare work, which would kind of earn them some share of your money and some say in the finances.

No. A parasitic relationship would be if your friend was using you or your friend was just friends with you because you could give him/her benefits (or if you treated your friend this same way).

You need to learn to be independent. Do stuff that you can do yourself, and even though, how much you feel like wanting their help, do it yourself.

Of course! You should have a sense of self before you begin a relationship. The one thing to be careful about is to keep a balance: don't always spoil your partner and cater to their wants but don't act like you don't need them, either. Independence is great as long as you remember that you can't do everything yourself, in or out of a relationship.