Q&A for How to Maintain a Friendship After Sex

Possibly, but you need to have plenty of communication. Make sure that both you and the other person are on the same page and that your relationship is totally platonic. If you or the other person is a new relationship, check that you both are comfortable and unthreatened by the arrangement.

Sex with friends can be tricky, especially if one of you has recently gotten out of another relationship--emotions are all over the place! But major kudos to you for recognizing that you weren't ready for anything more serious at the time and telling her that. Your best friend in this scenario is honest communication. Unfortunately, though, if you tell her you're ready to be with her and she's no longer up for it, you might just be two ships passing in the night.

Unfortunately, if you want more and he doesn't, the best solution is probably to stop hooking up. It can be tempting to keep seeing him in the hopes that he'll change his mind (been there, done that...), and sometimes that does happen, but just as often, it doesn't happen. So keep up a casual relationship if you want, but realize you can't force him to change his mind, and he very well may not.

Not knowing all the deets, we can't answer that. But it sounds like your heart is in the right place. Sex can be awkward, sex between friends even more so. Reach out to her to let her know you're sorry for not realizing she was uncomfortable and to ask if she needs anything from you. Let her know you value her friendship too much to have it affected by a random hookup, and ask if you can work things out. It's possible she'll want some space, depending on how uncomfortable she was, and you need to respect that. But it's also possible she'll appreciate your reaching out to check on her, and your friendship will become even stronger after this ordeal.

Try explaining to her that this was just a one time thing and it doesn't have to mean anything. Tell her that her friendship is important to you and you'd hate to see this one incident ruin it. If she still doesn't want to be friends with you after that, you'll have to just let her go.

You probably need to reevaluate your relationship with him, as hard as that might be. It seems like he is feeling guilty about what happened and is taking it out on you by avoiding and ignoring the situation, which isn't fair. If you decide that you are okay with this and want him in your life, then you need to give him space. Maybe he'll come around, maybe he won't, but it's all that you can do.

First off, remember you don't have to do this. Just because he needs someone's help in the position of a support system, doesn't mean you have to be the one to provide it. If you don't like it, feel awkward to do so, or just don't want to, then don't. Since you've already had sex, that tension of "what if you and I" has already been released, so you may indeed be well placed. If you decide to help him, make sure to set some very clear rules, and stick to the penalties if they are broken. E.g. "OK, but as soon as you come on to me, I'm out of here." Finally, remember why you ended it. Him being in counseling does not mean your reasons for ending it have changed.

There's really nothing you can do about that. You did the right thing being honest about your feelings, and he's just going to have to learn to accept that this is how things are. Tell him you hope you can still be friends, and then give him some space so he can get over his hurt feelings. It will get easier (for both of you) with time. Oh, and definitely do not have sex with him again.

First of all, she does remember it, but she likely doesn't really want to discuss it to death. And that's your clue as to what to do: don't talk about it anymore. In the end, it's just sex. No one got hurt, it was fun while it lasted, it was consensual; just leave it at that. The best thing to do now is to back down. Still be friends, obviously, but don't keep pushing her to talk about this. If you back down, she'll either be relieved you're not pushing her anymore, or she'll come to you herself to talk about it.