Q&A for How to Make Someone Tell the Truth

Return to Full Article

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    How can you make someone tell the truth?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    You cannot really make someone tell the truth, but you can encourage it by asking very specific questions. You can also ask follow-up questions if you are not satisfied with the answer you are given (if it is too vague). You can also ask a question that you know the answer to in order to gauge the truthfulness of the person. You can also watch their body language and eye contact while they are responding.
  • Question
    How can you tell when someone is lying by watching their eyes?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    If they're not telling the truth, they might dart their eyes away or to the floor, and avoid keep eye contact with you. If you know the person well, look for out-of-character behavior.
  • Question
    How can you tell what the truth is?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    The truth will generally not be accompanied by defensiveness or over-explanation. There will be a matter-of-fact quality to the person's words and actions.
  • Question
    How do I stop lying?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    First ask yourself if you lie repeatedly or habitually. For some people, they learn early that telling the truth doesn't work--perhaps because they were excessively punished as children. To begin with, you must trust the person who are planning telling the truth to. You have to feel safe that even if you will be chastised or punished, it will be fair, and not brutal. See if there are some people you could practice telling the truth to, but not others. This could tell you a lot about your various relationships. If it continues to be a serious problem, you might seek counseling to work it through. Best of luck.
  • Question
    A (so-called) friend of mine lies about almost everything and gossips to me and about me, won't admit to stealing or playing on my iPod without permission (it had no password). What can I do?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    It sounds like this so-called friend has crossed many personal boundaries. First of all, put a password on all your electronics, and don't give it out! If you haven't yet talked with the friend about how you feel about the lying, then give that a try; review the article above.. Assess if this person is worth your time to spend time with. If the answer is "no," then pull back--spend less time; don't confide in them. There is little you can do to someone gossiping about you, but hopefully the friends who really matter will be able to discern the truth from lies about you.
Ask a Question

      Return to Full Article