Q&A for How to Make Your Friend's Older Brother Think of You Romantically

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  • Question
    How can I date an older man successfully?
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
    Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    You want to show that you're independent, and that you're confident. Demonstrate how you're comfortable in similar kinds of situations and social circles he might surround himself in!
  • Question
    My close friend has a brother that is 2 years older than us. She thinks that he thinks of me as more than just her friend. How do I find out if he likes me without telling him I like him? (We are 13 and 15.)
    Community Answer
    You can ask your friend to ask him what he thinks of you. You can also look for clues that he might like you. For instance, does he go out of his way to talk to you and spend time around you and his sister? Does he smile a lot when he sees you or seem to get nervous? If so, he might like you but be too shy to say anything. You may have to be brave and tell him how you feel.
  • Question
    What do I do if her brother is really popular, but I'm not popular so I feel like he won't like me?
    Community Answer
    Even if your friend's brother is really popular, he can still like you. Make a list of all of your qualities and all the reasons why he could like you instead of focusing only on your popularity.
  • Question
    What if he knows you like him?
    Community Answer
    If he knows that you like him then give him a chance to figure out how he feels. He may need some time to get used to thinking of you romantically. If he decides that he does like you back, then great! But, if he decides that he doesn't, don't let it get you down. There are lots of other great guys that will think of you romantically.
  • Question
    I am on vacation with my bff and her brother. I have a crush on him and I don't know how to control myself when he is around. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Stay calm and mature. Remember that her older brother will have a better opinion of you if you are relaxed and confident around him. Smile and talk to him, but avoid following him around. If you need to, limit your time around her brother so you can remain in control.
  • Question
    What if your friend doesn't accept it, but refuses to tell you that she has a problem with it and you find this out from another person?
    Community Answer
    Be mature and talk to your friend about the situation. Find out why she has a problem with it and try to work together to find a solution. You may have to decide whether losing a friend is worth being in a relationship with her brother.
  • Question
    I have a HUGE crush on my best friend's brother. He's three years older and lives next door. I'm around him all the time and it drives me crazy be so close yet so far. My best friend knows that I like him and thinks we are perfect. I am 13. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Start by getting to know her brother better and giving him the chance to get to know you. Because there is a three year age difference you will probably have different interests, but you also could have a lot in common. When you see him calmly say "Hi" and take the chance to ask him about some of his interests.
  • Question
    How can you get your crush to like you?
    Community Answer
    Although you can't make anyone like you, you can let your crush get to know you better - which will definitely improve the chances that they will like you. Let them see your personality and get to know you a little better. Talk to your crush when you have the chance and get to know more about them.
  • Question
    What if your bff tells her brother that you like him?
    Community Answer
    This can be a good thing because once her brother knows that you like him, he can have the opportunity to learn more about you and decide if he likes you back. Talk to him calmly and maturely when you see him, and when you feel the time is right, talk to him about how you feel about each other.
  • Question
    What if he is into popular people and I'm not that popular (but I am popular)?
    Community Answer
    Just because he might seem to be into popular people doesn't mean he won't like you. Just be confident and yourself around him. Give him the chance to get to know you and all the great things about you. Also, get to know more about him and his interests. You never know what you might have in common.
  • Question
    He is older by 4 years and really sweet. My friend (his little sister) thinks we would be perfect and I think so, too. We share a lot in common and we have known each other for 10 years. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Start with being his friend. Take the time to get to know each other better and build up the courage to let him know how you feel. Show him that you are mature and an interesting person, not just his little sister's friend.
  • Question
    How do I get my best friends older brother to love me over Facebook?
    Community Answer
    You can try to get him to love you by being yourself, interacting with him a bit, and being mature about it. Like or comment on a few of his posts and every now and then send him a private message. You don't want to stalk him, though, so don't like or comment on every single one of his posts. Give him a chance to get to know you and hopefully move the relationship along.
  • Question
    What if he doesn't know if he wants to be my boyfriend because of his sister being my best friend?
    Community Answer
    Get to know him better and give him the opportunity to get to know you better. He may just need to be able to see you as a person other than just as his sister's best friend. Try to talk to him one-on-one sometimes and let him see you as a potential girlfriend.
  • Question
    It is saying older brother, but what if it is her younger brother that I like? He is my age?
    Community Answer
    Many of the same suggestions apply. Give her brother the chance to see you as an individual and take time to get to know him a bit. Talk to him, try to spend a little time with him, but remember to keep being a good friend to his sister.
  • Question
    What if he has a girlfriend?
    Community Answer
    If he has a girlfriend, you should probably stick to just being friends with him (if that). It would be disrespectful to him and his girlfriend if you try to make him think of you romantically even though you know he is in a relationship.
  • Question
    What if you were rude to him and now you like him but he hates you?
    Community Answer
    FIrst, apologize to him for being rude. If you need to, explain why you were rude. Then let him know that you'd like the chance for you two to get to know each other better and hopefully become friends.
  • Question
    What if he doesn't even notice you because he is rarely around?
    Community Answer
    Make the best of the times that he is around. When you do have the chance to be around him, make sure you talk to him and give him a little attention. You don't have to follow him around, but you could say something like, "Hey, long time no see! How's it been going?"
  • Question
    Is it wrong to like my friend's brother?
    Community Answer
    No, it's not. You usually can't help who you like or are attracted to. Talk to your friend about it if you think it might cause problems between the two of you.
  • Question
    How do I know if he likes me back?
    Community Answer
    One way to know is to ask him. For example, say, "Do you ever think of me romantically?" Or, you could look for clues. For example, does he spend a lot of time around you when he doesn't have to? Does he go out of his way to be nice to you or talk to you? Then he just might like you back!
  • Question
    The guy I like has already known I liked him for quite some time. I don't know if he likes me back, though and I don't want to ask him out just in case I get rejected. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    You may have to boost your courage and ask him how he feels, that's the only way you will know for sure unless he decides to tell you. You can also look for clues in his behavior. For example, does he go out of his way to talk to you when you're around? If he is being extra friendly, he might like you but be too shy to ask you out.
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