I’m writing a sci-fi/fantasy novel about a group of unlikely friends that travels between alien worlds (similar in tone to the earlier Harry Potter books). There is a clever female lead, and a clever male lead, and you can guess how that works. There’s also a repressed lesbian who begins to discover who she is.
I’m aromantic and asexual. So I have no idea how crushes and falling in love feel. I need you to tell me!
Falling in love with girls:
What do you notice about her?
When you look at her and hear her speak, how do you feel? What do you do?
What are your goals?
Falling in love with boys:
What do you notice about him?
How do you show him that you care?
What are your goals?
LGB:
When did you first get inklings that you were attracted to the same gender? How could you tell?
How did you come to terms with your identity?
Do you have any tips for writing a lesbian character who grew up in a deeply homophobic society?
Lexys
2
I can try answering your questions, but what do you mean by “what are your goals”? Could you explain that? Thanks!
Firstly, YOu are writing a novel, Im definitely interested!
This is so interesting
I’ll jot down what I know about 
Falling in love with girls:
- What do you notice about her?
Her appearance as to how she dresses, smiles and talks. How okay she is with her weaknesses and strength. The more pleasant she is the more one want to get to know her better(I am not into girls but I appreciate girls with all my heart)
Falling in love with boys:
- What do you notice about him?
How much he would care about my feelings.
How honest he could be which I could guess seeing him talk with me (if he talks sexual the first thing, its over.)
- Clothing, money, past may not matter. (Maybe you are not looking for this! Just what I value is care and a decent well mannered behavior) Someone who criticizes with the intention to feel better himself is a HYPOCRITE.
How do you show him that you care?
- I may work to bring peace, happiness and pleasantness in life like smile a lot, encourage him, respect his aim in life and his friends and family, bring out the best of him I could etc.
What are your goals?
- To be there for him in all the phases like bad, dark and sorrowful to begin with and happy, prospering and struggling. To give him a fair understanding of what are my weaknesses and strengths are so he gets to decide if he could adjust with me and allow him to correct himself so we live together forever.
LGB:
Do you have any tips for writing a lesbian character who grew up in a deeply homophobic society?
(Umm if this looks like its my brain scan, please dont look at it that way, its my ideal but realistic and practical world of love and marriage:D )
@Vishwavijay
Thanks, Vish! I really appreciate all the detail you went into. This helps.
@Worldsgreatestnerd
By “goals” I mean what would you want from the relationship, and what would you want to do. What sorts of thoughts and desires cross your mind when you look at them or think about them?
I would love to hear more thoughts from anyone who is interested!
Lexys
5
Okay, so here goes. I don’t know if it’s good enough. Probably ain’t.
Falling in love with boys:
What do you notice about him?
The first thing that anyone would obviously notice, is a person’s appearance. I’d pay a little more attention to his eyes. I don’t really know why. The next thing I’d notice is his voice and his accent, for some weird reason. Attractive accents are my weakness.
How do you show him that you care?
I make him feel wanted and loved, and if he doesn’t really have a high self-esteem, I try to increase it by complimenting him quite a bit. I make it a point to ask him if he’s okay if I know he’s going through a stressful/difficult times, and tell him that if he needs to talk to anyone about anything, he can always contact me.
What are your goals?
Mutual understanding, respect and trust. I’d give him his own space if he needs it, and I’d demand the same. Oh, and I would NOT want him to be too cheesy but then again that’s just me.
As for falling in love with girls, my answers are the same as falling in love with boys. I’ve never dated a girl, so I don’t know how different it is from dating a guy.
LGB:
I’d answer the first question, but I prefer not to share it publicly, so I’ll leave that out. Do you have any tips for writing a lesbian character who grew up in a deeply homophobic society? She could be really secretive about her sexual orientation, and try her hardest to be straight. She could force herself to experiment with men, feeling no arousal at all. She could be ashamed of being lesbian because she’s grown up in an environment that taught her that homosexuality is wrong. On the other hand, she could be rebellious, and express her lesbianism a lot, and take pleasure out of irking the people around her whenever she mentions her sexual orientation.
system
7
I can give you a bit of help but it is not going to be much. First of all, you are writing a book, romance in bokks can be tricky to do… You must not do something that is cliche cuz no one would read it if it is boring or been done way too many times. For romance, there is quite a few.
The most common one is love at first sight, don’t have them be lovers straight off. Another one is don’t make even like each other straight off, making them pretty much hate each other is a good idea
