14 Meaningful Ways to Give Your Girl the Attention She Deserves

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Boost her confidence (and your relationship) with these sweet tips

Co-authored by John Keegan and Cheyenne Main

Last Updated: July 10, 2024 Fact Checked

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Your girl means the absolute world to you, but how do you let her know that? Maybe you’ve known each other for years or you just started seeing each other. Either way, she’s made you the luckiest person around and you want to show her just how much you care. We’ve interviewed dating coach John Keegan and compiled a list of ways you can give your girl the attention she deserves.

Best Ways to Give Your Girlfriend Attention

Book a surprise trip or plan a day around the things she loves.
Message her whenever she crosses your mind.
Hang out and spend quality time with her.
Turn off your phone and put all your attention on her.
Build relationships with her friends and family.
Ask her questions about her day.

1

Up the romance with a special date.

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Give your girl attention with something that needs thoughtful planning. Remembering the special dates and smallest details will not only show her you care but will give you all the brownie points for being an incredible partner! Take her on a surprise trip, bring her to a secret location, or plan a day all around things off her bucket list. ^{[1]
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Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}
- Mark special dates on your calendar like when you first saw each other and when you first kissed. You can plan special dates around these anniversaries to give her the attention she deserves.
- Your girl is unlike any other girl, so take her somewhere that means something to her. Maybe there’s a restaurant she used to always go to as a kid or a movie she always watches to make her smile. Arrange the date around her.

2

Message her when you’re thinking about her.

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Communicating with your girl is a great way to give her attention. In any relationship, communication is key, and in today’s digital age, texting can be an more important way to give your partner attention. ^{[2]
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Research source} But your girl isn’t like any other girl, so message her in a way that is unique to her!
- Send her a picture of something from an inside joke to make her laugh.
- Stay updated about what’s going on in her life, and be there for her if she needs you.
- Text her a 😊 to brighten any message.
- Send her a funny meme or gif to express your feelings and make her laugh.

3

Shower her with compliments to boost her confidence.

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Your girl means the absolute world to you, so tell her how much you adore her. Keegan says that a little genuine compliment here and there is a great way to make a girl feel special. ^{[3]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Compliment her in a way that will make her feel good. You know her best, so boost her confidence and strengthen your relationship by letting her know that you love every part of her. ^{[4]
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Research source}
- “Your smile is contagious.”
- “You’re beautiful.”
- “I love the way you light up a room just by being there.”

4

Spend quality time with her to show her you care.

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Giving your girl attention can be as simple as hanging out with her. You don’t want her to think you’ve forgotten about her when life starts getting busy, so take the extra time to have fun with her. Take her on a picnic, go to a sporting event together, or have a cozy movie night at home. Spending time together one-on-one will strengthen your relationship and give her the attention she deserves. ^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- Keegan says that quality time is about carving out a special time to do something together. “Even if it's just having a coffee,” He says, “it's really just about you and me being together, talking, discussing, connecting, touching, things like that.” ^{[6]
 X
 Expert Source
 
 John Keegan
 Dating Coach
 
 Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.}
- Make a date of the week when you’ll both hang out together.
- Ask her to pick the movie or the restaurant. Giving her a chance to make choices on the dates will help her feel included, wanted, and heard.

5

Put down your phone and show up.

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Give your girl your undivided attention. What’s on your phone is important, but it can’t be as important as her! When you’re with her, turn off your phone and make an effort to focus only on her. ^{[7]
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Research source}
- This includes all types of distractions: video games, television, and computers. Give your girl all your focus no matter what you’re doing.

6

Get to know her friends and family.

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If you take the time out of your busy schedule to build relationships with her close friends and family, she’ll know how much you care and won’t feel the need to exclude you on her next outing with them. By giving her loved ones attention, you’re giving her attention. ^{[8]
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7

Explore her hobbies and passions.

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Your girl is more than interesting, so take the time to learn more about her. What does she love to do? Does she like reading, playing sports, crafting? Give her attention by planning a date around her favorite activity or interest. This will show her you’re listening and give you both a fun, new activity to do together. ^{[9]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- If your girl likes to read, take her to her favorite bookstore and treat her to a new book.
- If your girl likes sports, bring her to a sporting event for her favorite team. You can even wear her favorite player’s jersey!
- If your girl likes to craft, ask her to teach you. This is sure to make you both giggle and, who knows, maybe you’ll find a new favorite hobby!

8

Plan a weekend getaway.

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Plan a vacation that encompasses both of your interests. Is there a place she’s always wanted to visit? Do you both love the beach? Make the getaway special and unique for her. A vacation is a great way to give her attention because it’ll just be you, her, and exciting adventures. ^{[10]
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Research source}

Esther Perel, Psychotherapist

Embrace adventure and trying new things. "Breaking routine and stepping out of what feels comfortable connects you to curiosity and discovery. So, ask yourselves, what is something new you can do together?"

9

Surprise her with a gift to boost her mood.

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Give your girl something to show how much you care. There doesn’t need to be a special occasion to give her a gift, so surprise her with something you know will make her smile. It could be as simple as a household item she’s been saying she needs, or as extravagant as a bracelet you know she’s been eyeing. No matter the price, give her something that shows you’ve been paying attention. ^{[11]
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- Listen to your girl and gift her something she needs or wants. You can buy any girl anything, but your girl is special. Find something that’s personal to her.

10

Listen to her always.

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Your girl will feel valued when you're attentive. Listening is more than absently nodding your head and letting her words in one ear and out the other while you do something else. instead, Keegan says to “really listen to [her] when you're with [her].” ^{[12]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} Is she happy or sad? Has she hinted at something that she needs? Listening mindfully will help you figure out what exactly she needs and wants. ^{[13]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source} Here are some things you can do to be more attentive the next time she chats with you: ^{[14]
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Research source}
- Be present to hear what she’s not saying. What is she feeling?
- Smile and nod at the appropriate times to let her know you’re listening. Let go of everything else and only focus on her.
- Notice when you wander from the conversation. When you catch yourself thinking of things away from what she’s saying, bring your attention back to her.
- Look at how she’s sitting or standing. Does she have her arms crossed? Is she relaxed?
- Respond and ask questions that matter. Let her know you’re listening by asking her questions that make sense. This will show her you really do care about what she’s saying.

11

Be attentive by asking her questions.

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Prove to her that you’re listening to make her feel loved. Focus on what she’s saying and respond in a meaningful way. Follow-up questions can show her that you care about what she’s saying and make her feel heard all while giving her attention. ^{[15]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source} If you’re stuck, see if these questions fit into the conversation:
- “What else happened today?”
- “Why does that make you feel that way?”
- “What else did they say?”

12

Let her know you’re proud of her.

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Be your girl’s cheerleader to show her she’s number one. It’s always important to give your girl attention, especially when she’s going through a hard time. Your support and encouragement for her in every moment seems like such a little thing, but it’ll make her feel like she’s never alone. ^{[16]
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- Give her a shoulder to cry on when things get rough.
- Encourage her to follow her dreams no matter how far away they may be.
- Show her you believe in her by never putting her down.

13

Say “yes” instead of “no.”

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Show her you support her decisions. Encourage her to chase her dreams even when they seem impossible to you. Positive reinforcement can go a long way, so tell your girl “yes” rather than “no.” This is a great way to give her attention and boost her confidence. ^{[17]
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- “Yes, I believe in you.”
- “Yes, you can do this!”

14

Establish comfortable boundaries.

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Share what you want and need out of your relationship. Even if you’re married or in a long term relationship with your girl, setting boundaries can help both of you thrive as individuals and strengthen your relationship. Have an ongoing conversation about both of your needs and give her space to do activities she enjoys alone. ^{[18]
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- You might talk to her about much time you want to spend together, the frequency of your communication when you’re apart, or even what you would consider to be cheating. ^{[19]
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- Use “I” statements when you’re setting boundaries. For example, you might say, “I felt hurt when you didn’t text me back. I would love it if we texted a little more frequently.” ^{[20]
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