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A comprehensive guide on finding and avoiding certain men
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If you’ve been dating long enough, you’ve probably noticed that the same kinds of guys seem to keep popping up over and over again. But what is it that really separates these men, and what kind of markers should you be looking for if you’re trying to find (or avoid!) a certain kind of guy? In this article, we’ll break down the various categories of guy, cover key traits, and explain how you can attract them. We’ll even include a few sub-genres of each kind of guy in case there’s something unique you’re looking for.

1

The Everyman

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  1. The famous “normal” guy is primarily interested in living a balanced, productive life. These guys tend to be phenomenal partners because they handle conflicts productively, they have healthy outlooks on life, and they’re able to find balance in all things. They’re 10/10 relationship material. [1]
    • Key personality traits: The Everyman is typically friendly, open to new experiences, and unassuming. In fact, he might feel awkward standing out of from a crowd or being noticed. Most Everyman guys tend to be very equitable, fair, and emotionally healthy.
    • How to attract an Everyman: Just talk to him and ask him questions! The Everyman will open up and be attracted to you if you express genuine interest in him.
    • Variants of the Everyman: The worker bee, the family guy, the “forgotten” guy, the underdog, the neighbor, and the guy next door.
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2

The Artist

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  1. The Artist is passionate, imaginative, and thoughtful. They always have some big project they’re working on. They also tend to be phenomenal gift givers. If you’re looking for a partner who will stimulate you intellectually and entertain you socially, this is the guy for you. [2]
    • Key personality traits: The Artist tends to be pensive, emotional, expressive, and playful. However, these guys can get caught up in what they’re doing and leave partners occasionally feeling like a secondary priority.
    • How to attract an Artist: Artists are like those birds who collect shiny objects for their nests—you just need to stand out a bit from the crowd . Dress a little different, be a little elusive, and conjure an air of mystery to keep him hooked.
    • Variants of the Artist: The painter, the critic, the actor, the activist artist, and the orator.
3

The Entrepreneur

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  1. Entrepreneurs are the guys who are driven by career success. They may not always be free to hang out with all of their side hustles and ambitions, but if you’re looking to build a future and be taken care of, these guys are ideal partners. [3]
    • Key personality traits: Entrepreneurs are ambitious, competitive, passionate, and great at planning. They also tend to be highly emotional, since they get super invested in whatever they’re doing.
    • How to attract an Entrepreneur: Invite him to fancy cocktail spot, casually reference you’re working on a big project at your job, and watch him lock into you!
    • Variants of the Entrepreneur: The self-starter, the visionary, the Steve Jobs tech guy, and the influencer. As a note, watch out of the Gordon Gecko types who think it’s okay to be aggressive and cruel so long as you get ahead.
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4

The Adventurer

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  1. If your answer to “What would you do if money were no object” is, “Travel,” you need an Adventurer in your life. Adventurers are always seeking out new things, whether it’s new restaurants and bars, or exploring new hobbies. These guys are unlikely to leave you bored, so if quiet nights at home aren’t your groove, this is the man for you. [4]
    • Key personality traits: Adventurers tend to be optimistic, resilient, and willing to take risks. They occasionally lose track of the little details as they make big plans or explore the world.
    • How to attract an Adventurer: Say “yes” to everything! The Adventurer is always looking for a partner in crime and if they know you’re down for anything , they’ll naturally be drawn to you.
    • Variants of the Adventurer: The world traveler, the wanderer, the thrill-seeker, and the digital nomad. There’s also a hippie-inspired “free spirit” guy whose adventures are more emotional and spiritual.
    Esther Perel, Psychotherapist

    Embrace adventure and trying new things. "Breaking routine and stepping out of what feels comfortable connects you to curiosity and discovery. So, ask yourselves, what is something new you can do together?"

5

The Scholar

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  1. If you’re looking for someone to join you in late-night philosophical conversations, a Scholar may be right for you. These guys are all about the pursuit of knowledge. They’re always learning, prone to overdo it on the documentaries, and you can always spot one by his massive (usually unorganized) book collection. [5]
    • Key personality traits: Scholars tend to be detail-oriented in some things and completely unregulated in others. They’re inquisitive, phenomenal conversationalists, and prone to periods of random contemplation that can get annoying if you don’t like long silences.
    • How to attract a Scholar: Bring a book with you everywhere you go! A complicated book, preferably. Something with a polysyllabic title that’s hard to parse. On a more serious note, just ask him serious questions . Scholars love deep conversation.
    • Variants of the Scholar: The salt-and-pepper professor, the data nerd, the philosopher, the hobby historian, and the collector.
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6

The Romantic

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  1. It’s easy to conceptualize the Romantic as all about love, but Romantics are—at their core—interested in vibrancy. They love the delicate and exquisite things in life, and they can be exceptionally passionate about the things they care about. They also tend to be phenomenal lovers and dates! [6]
    • Key personality traits: Romantics are expressive, open about their feelings, and often very sensual. If you want a partner who “locks in” when you’re together, this is the right guy for you.
    • How to attract a Romantic: Care about your appearance and make eye contact . Romantics don’t tend to play the “chase” game very well, so be a little forward and melodramatic when you flirt.
    • Variants of the Romantic: The hopeless romantic, the player, the gentleman, the dreamer, and the protector.
7

The Competitor

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  1. If you’re turned on by guys who pursue things they want with a fiery passion or you’re really looking for someone who makes you a better version of yourself by virtue of their own ambition, you’re looking for a Competitor. These guys can be a lot to handle, but they’ve got an unmatched energy and drive. [7]
    • Key personality traits: Competitors tend to be direct, comfortable with risk-taking, and highly sensitive. Just know, Competitors can tend to be a bit controlling if things don’t go their way.
    • How to attract a Competitor: Work on yourself . Most Competitors are attracted to others who are just as intense and driven as they are. Beyond that, it helps if you let him take the lead when it comes to planning dates or asking you out. Competitors like to be in charge.
    • Variants of the Competitor: The gym rat, the big planner, the warrior, and the upbeat leader.
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8

The Outlaw

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  1. If they see a social norm they can violate, they’re going for it. Tattooed, clad in leather, and unfathomably good at looking tough, the Outlaw gets their kicks out of bucking expectations. That said, Outlaws are often super authentic and radically honest, which can be a huge draw. [8]
    • Key personality traits: Outlaws don’t care what people think. They also don’t care for rules and regulations, believe in themselves, and think they’re the captain of their own destiny.
    • How to attract an Outlaw: Carve your own path in the world . Beyond that, be extremely straightforward. Tell him you’re into him and want to knock his socks off—he’ll jump at the opportunity.
    • Variants of the Outlaw: The criminal (best to avoid this one), the renegade, the political revolutionary, and the guy who is super into guns and personal freedoms.
9

The “Nice” Guy

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  1. Nice Guys show kindness to women (and men) exclusively because they think the world works on some kind of points system where if they’re nice enough for long enough, they’ll earn a relationship (or sex, at a minimum). These guys can be tough to spot because they mask their ulterior motives with kindness, so keep an eye out for them. [9]
    • Key personality traits: Nice Guys tend to be a touch overbearing, clingy, and obsessive. They can also be very friendly, touchy, and inquisitive.
    • How to attract a Nice Guy: If you did want to attract a Nice Guy (which you probably don’t), just swipe right on literally everybody on Tinder. The “Nice” Guys will be the ones who don’t leave you alone.
    • Variants of the Nice Guy: There’s the love bomber, the Machiavellian, the narcissist, and the simp.
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      Tips

      • While a lot of people believe opposites attract, the odds are that you’re more successful in dating if you find someone with similar values and goals to you. For example, if you’re deeply creative and value aesthetic experience, you’ll probably be happiest with an Artist. If you’re ambitious and driven, a Competitor might be right for you. [10]
      • No matter which type you think is right for you, always look for someone who is empathic, respectful, friendly, and honest. Those qualities are core to what makes a person a good long-term partner. [11]
      • Remember, people can change! If you knew a guy as an Outlaw in high school and you reconnect to find out he’s more of a Scholar these days, don’t assume he’s being inauthentic.
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