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The most ridiculous pick-up lines to make your crush laugh
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Looking for a list of the cringiest pick-up lines that are so bad you’d never even consider using them? Or maybe using them to make your friends (or your crush) laugh? Flirting is about having fun, so a cringey pick-up line can work if you aren’t too serious. We spoke with dating coaches to find out when to flirt – and not to flirt – with cringey lines. Read on to learn which cringey pick-up lines you can make work and which are just jokes.

Section 1 of 7:

Cringiest Pick-Up Lines for Him

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  1. Start a conversation with a line that’s so cringey it works. Dating Coach John Keegan says using a pick-up line gives you confidence because you have something to say. However, these lines don’t always work because they’re not specific to the person or what’s happening. But, if a line is so over-the-top cringe, it’s even funnier if it has nothing to do with the person or situation.
    • “I’m glad I remembered to bring my library card because I am checking you out!”
    • “Are your parents bakers? Because you’re a cutie pie!”
    • “Excuse me while I delete my dating apps.”
    • “I'm not even playing cards, but somehow I pulled a king.”
    • “I didn't even have to run to catch these butterflies.”
    • “Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?”
    • “Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.”
    • “You must be a talented thief because you managed to steal my heart from all the way over here.”
    • “Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”
    • “You owe me a drink. When I saw you, I dropped mine.”
    • “Do you happen to have a Band-Aid? I scraped my knee falling for you.”
    • “Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest.”
    • “Something must be wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you.”
    • “Do you play soccer? Because you look like a keeper.”
    • “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”
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Section 2 of 7:

Cringiest Pick-Up Lines for Her

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  1. Show her your sense of humor with a super-cheesy line. Laughter helps people relax and reduce stress. Plus, laughing together makes people feel closer . So, use a super-cheesy line on her to make her laugh. Plus, it might just make her want to spend more time with you. [1]
    • “Hey, girl. Are you German? ‘Cause I wanna be Ger-man!”
    • “Have they already suspended your license for driving all these guys crazy?”
    • “I’m pretty good with numbers. Why don’t you give me yours and see what I can do with it?”
    • “Are your shoelaces tied? I don’t want you falling for anybody else.”
    • “I was wondering if you had an extra heart since you just stole mine.”
    • “Are you a cat? Because you’re purr-fect.”
    • “Did you eat magnets for breakfast? You’re so attractive.”
    • “I can’t tell if that was an earthquake or if you just rocked my world.”
    • “You better stop, drop, and roll, ‘cause baby, you’re on fire!”
    • “This must be a museum because you’re a work of art.”
    • “Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?”
    • “If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d only have $.05.”
    • “I was blinded by your beauty, so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”
    • “Do you know what you’d look beautiful in? My arms.”
    • “You’re pretty, and I’m cute. Wanna be pretty cute together?”
Section 3 of 7:

Cringey Pick-up Line for Flirting

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  1. Dial up the flirting in a funny way with a cringey line. Flirting needs to be fun, or no one would want to do it. Dating Coach Cher Gopman recommends that you just have fun when you’re flirting. And make sure you keep things lighthearted, so he wants to keep the conversation going and maybe see you again.
    • “I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.
    • “If you were words on a page, you'd be FINE print.
    • “Are you a time traveler? Because I can see you in my future!”
    • “There must be something wrong with my phone because your number isn’t in it.”
    • “You’re that one song that’s worth buying the whole album for.”
    • “Is your hand heavy? Here, let me hold it.”
    • “What emoji should I put next to your name in my phone?”
    • “I’m surprised they don’t ask you to leave—you make everyone else look bad.”
    • “Can we snap a pic so I can show all my friends what I want my next relationship to look like?”
    • “Will you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?”
    • “You’re my compass. Wherever I go, my thoughts return to you.”
    • “You’re so sweet. My teeth hurt when I talk to you.”
    • “Can you tame butterflies? The ones in my stomach are out of control.”
    • “When I text you good morning, what number should I use?”
    • “Your smile is proof that the best things in life are free.”
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Section 4 of 7:

Cringey-Cute Pick-Up Lines

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  1. Lay a sweet pick-up line on them to make it slightly less cringe. Using a pick-up line to pay someone a sweet compliment can make it seem less cringey. They might laugh at the cringe, but the compliment still makes them feel good about themselves. Just make sure the compliment inside the cringey line is genuine. [2] Matchmaker & Dating Coach Michelle Jacoby adds, “Just being friendly is all it takes. I don't think you have to be super smooth or rehearsed all the time.”
    • “Hi, I just wanted to thank you for the gift. I've been wearing this smile since you gave it to me.”
    • “If you were a vegetable, you'd be a "cute-cumber."
    • “So, aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?”
    • “I'd like to take you to the movies, but they don't let you bring in your own snacks.”
    • “Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on earth has clearly never stood next to you.”
    • “If you were a taser, you'd be set to ‘stun.’”
    • “What does it feel like to be the most gorgeous person in the room?”
    • “I don't know your name, but I'm sure it's as beautiful/handsome as you are.”
    • “The sparkle in your eyes is so bright the Sun must be jealous.”
    • “I don't know which is prettier today—the weather or your eyes.”
    • “I was going to say something really sweet about you, but when I saw you, I became speechless.”
    • “My friends bet me I wouldn’t talk to the prettiest girl/most handsome guy in the place. Can I buy you a drink with their money?
    • “Did the sun come out, or did you just smile at me?”
    • “If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged.”
    • “When your parents made you, they were really just showing off.”
    EXPERT TIP

    Michelle Jacoby

    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Michelle Jacoby is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder and CEO of DC Matchmaking, a privately owned, boutique matchmaking company based in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Virginia. She is also the Co-Founder of The Matchmakers Alliance, an international industry organization for matchmakers. With over 12 years of experience, Michelle specializes in one-on-one matchmaking and group coaching to help singles find healthy, lasting relationships. She has been featured in several media publications such as The Washington Post, Self, and NPR. Michelle holds a BA in Psychology from George Washington University. She is also a Certified Matchmaker from The Matchmakers Institute as well as a Certified Body Language Expert from The Body Language Institute.
    Michelle Jacoby
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach

    Just be yourself when meeting someone new. The most important thing is to just be authentically yourself. That could mean walking over to them and saying, "I noticed you, and I just wanted to come over and say hi."

Section 5 of 7:

Cringey Pun Pick-Up Lines

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  1. Use a pun to bury the cringe under some cheesy fun. Puns are their own unique brand of cringe. And the more cringe they are, the more people love them. Combine a pun with a pick-up line to hit a new level of groan-worthy cringe. That’s the fun of it, though. Plus, if you make a pun , you’ll be in good company. William Shakespeare was the king of punning. [3]
    • “Do you like Star Wars ? Because Yoda only one for me!”
    • “If you were a triangle, you'd be acute one.”
    • “You must be a campfire. Because you are super hot, and I want s'more.”
    • “Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only Ten I See.”
    • “You must be made of cheese. Because you are looking Gouda tonight!”
    • “If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus FINE.”
    • “Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.”
    • “If you were a fruit, you’d be a FINE-apple.”
    • “This might sound cheesy, but I think you’re really grate.”
    • “Do you like bagels? Because you’re bae goals.”
    • “If you were a flower, you’d be a daaaaaamn-delion.”
    • “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.”
    • “Do you drink Pepsi? Because you’re so-da-licious!”
    • “Do you like Harry Potter? Because I adumbledore you.”
    • “Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koalafications.”
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Section 6 of 7:

Cringey-Gross Pick-Up Lines

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  1. Share a cringey-gross pick-up line to make them laugh. Some cringey pick-up lines are just plain disgusting. Only use them if you’re supremely confident in your rizz . If not, Keegan says to forget a line and ask them a question based on observation. For example, if they’re carrying a book, say something like, “Hey, I was thinking about reading that book. What do you think of it?” If you want to go for the gross-out, try one of these:
    • “You must be a booger because I would pick you first.”
    • “Did you just fart? Because you blow me away!”
    • “You must be jelly. Because jam does not shake like that!”
    • “My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.”
    • “Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.”
    • “Are you poop? Because even when you’re far away, I can smell you.”
    • “Just like I never play with garbage, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.”
    • “I'd drink your bathwater.”
    • “I just pee’d in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?”
    • “My love for you is like cancer; it just keeps growing and growing.”
    • “Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?”
    • “I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I’d pee on you.”
    • “Are you Ebola? Because you melt my insides.”
Section 7 of 7:

Worst Cringey Pick-Up Lines

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  1. Be careful using lines that are so cringey they’re insulting. There’s a weird sub-set of pick-up lines that try so hard to be clever that they actually insult the person you’re trying to pick up. These lines can work if the other person has the right sense of humor. If they don’t, you might strike out big time. If you think these lines are funny and want the type of person who won’t be offended by them, go ahead and shoot your shot!
    • “Are you trash? Because I want to take you out.”
    • “You must be a dog because you look fetching.”
    • “You remind me of my brother/sister.”
    • “Are you a fire alarm? Because you are really loud and annoying!”
    • “Hey, you dropped something. My standards.”
    • “Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan.”
    • “You look a lot like my next bad decision.”
    • “Are you pi? Because you're being irrational, and this conversation is going in circles.”
    • “This must be puppy love I’m feeling toward you! You remind me of my dog.”
    • “The more I drink, the more good-looking you get.”
    • “Are you crippling depression and anxiety? Because you haunt me at every waking hour.”
    • “Are you a piece of trash? Because as someone who cares deeply about the environment, I’m obligated to pick you up.”
    • “Whenever I see kites flying in the sky, I think of you. Just like them, you’re only beautiful at a distance.”
    • “I can’t help but gravitate toward you. It must be your incredible mass that’s creating the gravitational pull.”
    • “You’re like a low-life bandit. I’ll give you everything, so please don’t hurt me.”
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      • Sometimes, it’s better just to smile, be friendly, and say hello. “I'm not a big fan of the pickup line,” Jacoby says. “Sometimes, they can be cute, but I really prefer an authentic hello to a prefab pickup line any day.”
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