Husband can't be faithful

05/13/25 5:04pm

I love my husband with all my heart but being a Taurus, I notice every little thing and my gut tells me when things aren't right. He was hiding it very very well but I still caught him in time. I decided to give him another chance after leaving him, and just find some messaged indicating he's back in to to the same bull crap. Why can't he be faithful? We have great sex and we get along great except this. I know he loves me and he's attracted to me but he still cheats! Why?

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wikiHow Editorial Team

05/13/25 5:06pm

We're sorry to hear that you're going through this. Dealing with infidelity can be very painful, frustrating, and upsetting. Have you talked to your husband about the messages you recently found? If not, try bringing it up calmly with the aim of figuring out what is motivating him to seek attention or intimacy outside of your marriage. While people cheat for a lot of reasons, including unmet needs, low self-esteem, a desire for variety, or committment issues, he's the only one that can answer why he's doing this.

Then, you'll have to decide if you're willing to stay with him. If he can commit to being faithful and put effort into earning back your trust, it's definitely possible to rebuild a strong, healthy relationship. But, if he continues to cheat, it might be better to break things off for your own sake. You deserve a partner who is honest, faithful, and respectful.

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Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist

05/13/25 5:21pm

After your husband cheats, you need to tell your husband how you feel: that you're hurt, that you're sad, that you're angry. It's important for you to vocalize that. After infidelity, the partner who has been cheated on often feels extremely vulnerable, making it even harder to say how they're feeling, but I really would encourage that. That way, they may feel less isolated. And when something like infidelity happens, there's going to be waves: you may feel close and connected to your partner one day, and really angry the next day. That's grief, and when there's infidelity, there is a loss of trust of your partner which can result in grief.

Also, if you have questions about why this occurred or what happened, ask them. Infidelity isn't necessarily the end of a relationship. In fact, it can be a really nice opening for a deeper and more connected relationship. So I think there's an opportunity here for partners to grow and learn from what happened. When the time is right, talk about what wasn't working in the relationship, or why you didn't feel connected. And then, figure out a plan going forward to feel more connected and more safe.

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