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My husband forgets our anniversary!

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Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Clinical Psychologist

07/31/25 10:59pm

Without a doubt, anniversaries are an important milestone. There are a variety of reasons why someone may forget an anniversary. First of all, ask yourself, does this person typically forget important events, celebrations, and anniversaries? If not, then there is some investigation to be had. Have you had a direct conversation with your partner? What was their feedback? Have you considered reminding them to place the event into their personal calendar? Have you shared the event through your personal device? Are they typically forgetful?

If so, then you have your answer, but if not, then what has changed? What has caused the onset of this sudden forgetfulness? How do they respond when you remind them of this missed opportunity? Are they sincerely apologetic or oppositional? What have you done to encourage them to recall this important date? Has your marriage maintained the same zeal and luster, or has it faltered? If the latter, then what have you personally done to rejuvenate it? What have they done to reciprocate your efforts?

As you know, relationships are a balancing act of love, admiration, appreciation, patience, and forgiveness. Furthermore, it is not only about these essential qualities, but it is most of all about being unconditional. What does it mean to be unconditional? We all make mistakes, and we all bare the scars to prove it. Be willing to move beyond your partner’s forgetfulness and momentary lapse in judgment.

Personally, I have known individuals who have chosen their wedding date to coincide with important dates, times, or events. For instance, I have known someone who was married on her husband’s birthday. I have also known individuals who match the date with family anniversaries, birthdates, or national holidays. Finally, consider doing something to highlight this important date. You might even consider renewing your vows, taking a second honeymoon, or placing this date at the beginning of your annual vacation.

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wikiHow Editorial Team

03/10/25 6:37pm

If your husband has a planner that he uses—either on his phone or as a physical planner—you can always just put the event on the books for him. Alternatively, you can just remind him in the days or weeks leading up to the anniversary.

Have you talked to him about how you feel when he forgets your anniversary? It’s worth bringing up so he knows that you expect him to remember if you feel disappointed that he doesn't acknowledge it. Be calm and focus on how you feel, rather than accusing or criticizing him, to have a productive conversation.

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