What are the telltale signs of a narcissist?

Only a trained professional would be able to tell for sure, but typically, if you see these traits, it may be likely that you're dealing with a narcissistic person:

• They tend to have a grandiose sense of self-importance.
• They may feel that they can only be understood by other exceptional and extraordinary people.
• They have a strong desire for admiration, a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and even resentment toward others.

Narcissism is a spectrum. There's a difference between somebody who is narcissistic, and somebody who has narcissistic personality disorder. A narcissistic person can have some of those traits and not necessarily have NPD.

I am a licensed clinical social worker providing general information for educational purposes only. I am not liable for any decisions made or actions taken based on the information provided.

These are classic signs of a narcissistic person:

• They tend to have a grandiose view of themselves and a very pompous attitude.
• Fantasies of power or control live in their everyday minds.
• Narcissists live to be the best at everything, even if they are in fact not.
• They may believe that they are exceptionally unique and deserving of special treatment from individuals of high status.
• Excessive admiration from others is a dominant need.
• A sense of entitlement in everyday situations is a regular occurrence. Narcissists must have the best of the best, always. Whether it’s the best job title, car, clothes or even what they perceive to be the best mate.
• Exploiting others is justified and a means to get what they desire. They often see people as objects instead of humans.
• A deficit of empathy is perhaps one of the most common traits noticed when dating a narcissistic person.
• Constant envy of others and the belief that others are envious of them is a regular occurrence.

People have written a lot about the kind of cycle of narcissistic abuse in romantic relationships: there's usually a very intense initial stage of idealization where the you may feel as though the other person is your soulmate, and then once the bond has been established, a gradual and subtle campaign of criticism and derision can occur. As that proceeds, the relationship can fall into a phase of devaluation where it's very clear that the narcissistic person regards the partner as a second-class citizen, until finally they discard their partner, often by breaking up.