This article was co-authored by Kirsten Parker, MFA
and by wikiHow staff writer, Aimee Payne, MFA
. Kirsten Parker is a Mindset and Action Coach based in her hometown of Los Angeles, California. She helps high achievers overcome stress and self-doubt. She specializes in increasing one's confidence and clarity by incorporating tools from positive psychology, mindful habit change, and self-regulation into her coaching. She is a Certified HeartMath Practitioner trained in Stress, Anxiety, and Intelligent Energy Management along with Emotional Intelligence and the Science of Self-Acceptance. She also holds an MFA from Yale University School of Drama in Stage Management.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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When someone says, “I hear you,” it’s not always clear what they mean. Are they being sympathetic or dismissive? It can sometimes be difficult to tell. In general, “I hear you” means that someone has literally heard what you’ve said. However, it also often means that they have heard and understood you. In this article, we’ll break down the meaning of “I hear you” and explain how to use it in different contexts with examples. Plus, we’ll tell you how to respond when someone says “I hear you” to you.
Definition of “I Hear You”
The phrase “I hear you” means that you’ve heard what the other person has said. It may mean that you understand, are sympathetic to, or agree with their opinion or emotions on a subject. Additionally, use it to respectfully preface your reason for disagreeing with someone.
Steps
What does “I hear you” mean?
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“I hear you” acknowledges you’ve heard someone. While the meaning of “I hear you” can depend on the context, it’s usually a confirmation that someone has heard information given by another. [1] X Research source In most cases, speakers use it to show sympathy or empathy for another person or their feelings. “I hear you” also means that you understand or can relate to something another person said. It may mean that you comprehend what another person said and believe they have a right to say it, but you don’t necessarily agree.
- The meaning of “I hear you” often depends on the context. Context is the circumstances that surround a message. It can refer to tone, setting, subject, or the culture of the speaker. [2] X Research source
- Picking up on tone can be tricky. Mindset and Action Coach Kirsten Parker recommends, “Before entering a conversation, consciously set the intention to be present with this person. Being present entails making eye contact, watching body language, and listening beyond someone’s words to hear their tone. You’ll start picking up on someone’s emotional state and listening for what they mean (not just what they say).”
- However, some feel it’s dismissive of another person’s thoughts or feelings, especially when used repeatedly in a conversation.
- Some believe it’s a slang expression first used in hippie culture from the 1960s and 1970s that has become more mainstream.
How to Use “I Hear You”
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1Use it to say that you heard what someone has said. This can be a response to someone asking you if you can hear their voice, like in a phone call or from a stage. Depending on the context, you can simply let someone know you’ve heard them or express frustration if someone has repeated the same information. For example:
- “I’m in the back of the room, and I hear you fine.”
- “There’s a little static on the line, but I hear you.”
- “The image is frozen, but I hear you.”
- “Yes, I hear you. I’m standing right next to you.”
- “Okay, okay. I hear you already. You don’t have to say it again.”
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2Say “I hear you” to let someone know you understand them. Use “I hear you” to let people know you’ve heard their words, but even more, you understand what they’re trying to communicate. In this instance, the phrase is neutral and doesn’t necessarily mean you agree. For example:
- “I hear you. The event will take place on Sunday, rain or shine.”
- “Okay, I hear you that you’re leaving on July 5th.”
- “I hear you. I understand you’re in a lot of pain.
- “Oh, yeah. I hear you on that. You aren’t going to take on any more work.”
- “I hear you on how important it is to stick to the budget.”
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3Use “I hear you” to say you agree or disagree with what someone has said. Using “I hear you” to agree with someone is as simple as saying the phrase with a head nod or maybe adding some clarification of your thoughts or feelings. To disagree, say, “I hear you but…” and then state why you disagree. For example:
- “I hear you. I’ve been thinking exactly the same thing.”
- “I hear you, and it’s definitely the right way to go.”
- “I hear you, but I think we should look into a few different options.”
- “I hear you, but I think there’s a better way to handle the situation.”
- “Oh, I hear you, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”
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4Use it to validate the feelings of another person. Saying the phrase “I hear you” can validate another person’s feelings, making them feel comforted in knowing that another person understands what they’re going through. It also helps them feel more confident that their perceptions or feelings are rooted in reality. For example:
- “I hear you. It’s hard to lose a friend like that.”
- “I hear you, and anyone would feel overwhelmed in that situation.”
- “I hear you, and I’m here to support you.”
- “I hear you. It sounds like you’re not feeling up to going out. That’s totally understandable.”
- “I hear you, and your feelings matter to me. Let’s talk it through.”
How to Reply
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Reply to “I hear you” based on its use in context with your conversation. If the other person has said “I hear you” to let you know they heard your words, understand your meaning, agree with you, or are validating your feelings, thank them. If they use the phrase to disagree with you, acknowledge their point and continue the conversation. However, “I hear you” doesn’t always require a response. Here are a few examples of responses to “I hear you”:
- “Thank you. I appreciate you understanding where I’m coming from.”
- “I'm glad we’re on the same page.”
- “Thank you for listening. That means a lot.”
- “I’m really glad you understand.”
- “I’m glad you’re hearing me out. It really helps.”
- “It’s great we’re on the same wavelength.”
- “It’s good to know we see eye to eye.”
- “I get that we might have different views. Let’s keep the conversation going.”
- “Thanks for considering my perspective. Maybe we can find some common ground.”
- “I appreciate you taking the time to understand how I feel.”
Similar Phrases
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There are many ways to say “I hear you,” depending on context. Because “I hear you” has different meanings that rely on tone and context, use another phrase to be clearer or to mix things up a little. Here’s a list of phrases to use in place of “I hear you”: [3] X Research source
- Agreement: “All right,” “Got it,” and “Absolutely.”
- Understanding: “That’s clear, thank you,” “OK, I get it now,” and “That makes sense.”
- Connection/empathy: “I don’t blame you,” “I know what you mean,” “I would feel the same way,” and “I feel you.”
- Disagreement: “I appreciate why you think that, but…,” “That’s totally fair, but…,” “I see where you’re coming from, but…,” and “I take your point, but…”