Q&A for How to Ask Your Friend to Pay Back the Money They Owe You

Not at all. Don't feel guilty. Your friend is in the wrong, not you.

It may feel petty, but you have the right to ask for your money back no matter how small the sum. Just give your friend a casual reminder. If you feel really awkward, try something like "hey man, I'm a little short on funds this month, do you think I could get that $5 back?"

Send one or more letters to her policing requesting payment. If that doesn't work, you could sue her in county court. But, honestly, depending on the longevity and nature of the relationship, you might forgive her that debt and determine never to lend her a penny again...

Report him to the necessary authority.

First, talk to your friend. If you can't get in contact with him, you can file for those losses in court.

Inform his parents of what happened; you don't necessarily need to make the school know your friend lost your Frisbee. You could keep it a private matter. If you have questions, asking your parents for help is good.

Maybe you should ask to meet her face to face first and approach the subject, or ask her more directly and forcefully on a message just sent to her. If this doesn't work, and you're not worried about looking petty in front of the other people in the group, go ahead and call her out.

Yes, it is, since it shows written proof that you loaned money and that the other party agreed to it. Although it would be much more preferable if there were a stated amount of money, else the other party could just give you a lesser amount back. Remember the golden rule -- always get it in writing.

You could sue him, but if he's a close friend/family member and you don't want to lose the relationship, you may forgive the debt and let it go. You could also try reminding him gently.

Be nice and direct. Don't loan her anymore money until she pays you back. Let her know that you're happy she went to the concert, though, if she gets angry quickly/easily. Or, if there's something that you're saving up for, tell her that you need the money back so she can start saving up for it.

Let her know that you never got the money and you really would like to get it back. Let her know gently because money is generally a touchy subject.

There's an old saying: only loan what you're willing to lose. Don't give away ridiculous amounts of money you won't be happy to say goodbye to. Simply ask your friend if he has the money he owes you. If he doesn't give it to you within a week, you know he doesn't want to give it to you and probably doesn't care much about your feelings. You can then decide if you want to let it go or end the friendship.

Yes, this is the kind of thing small claims courts are designed for, as long as the claim doesn't exceed some specified limit, which varies with the court. (In California, it's $10,000.) Courts are pretty good about getting to the truth when it's one person's word against another's.

"Remember when I loaned you money for (xyz)? I was wondering when you'd be able to pay me back, as I'm a bit financially strapped at the moment, and could really use the money."

If you have no records, there isn't much of a way for you to get your money back. It's a case of your word against his with no proof. You can ask him to pay you back or try to appeal for the help of mutual acquaintances.

No, because he could easily say the money was a gift. You'd need some kind of signed agreement where he stated that he would pay you back the money if you wanted to try take this to court.

It depends on the amount of money you loaned her. If it was a large sum, you may be able to go to court for it. If not, perhaps you could negotiate some kind of part payment, dividing the sum into a certain time period.

Was your mother in a bad mood when you asked for her help? Were you whining? Maybe you could try to bring the issue up with her again in a calm, respectful manner. If she's still unwilling to help, you will probably just have to accept this. Sometimes life is not fair.

I assume you see your friend often since you are good friends, so sometime when you are together and not in a rush, try something like, "Hey man, I don't remember if I told you, but I recently got laid off due to the company downsizing. I'm starting to feel the pinch in my wallet and I was wondering if you still have the $700 you borrowed from me a while back? It would really come in handy about now." Tailor it to your personal speaking style, but the important thing is to be direct.

If he is refusing to communicate with you, then I would suggest taking him to small claims court to get the money back.

Start with a telephone call, and if they don't answer, leave a voicemail. Follow up with a text or an email. If they live nearby, you could always stop by and ask for it, but I would not do this as a first or even second attempt.

First, if that person owes you a lot of money. Second, how much that money means to you. Third, your relationship with that person. If it is a large loan, it is only fair they pay you back. Your friend might have simply forgotten, or thought it was a gift. Be polite, but be firm about it too.