Q&A for How to Avoid Attention

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How do I stop seeking someone's attention?

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert
Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, & Fitness Expert

Expert Answer

Usually, when people seek out attention, it is because they are unsure of themselves and need some external validation about their self-worth. Learning how to cultivate your own self-worth can be a helpful way to avoid grabbing the limelight for validation. Here are a few tips on how to do that. Change your thoughts, if you are thinking, “I am unworthy,” or “I am nothing without attention,” you can challenge those thoughts. Changing your thoughts to something healthier can help you when you are reaching for external praise. Find personal satisfaction in what you are doing. Recognizing your own efforts as vital steps toward achieving your life goals can increase personal satisfaction and decrease the need to seek praise outwardly.

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Question

My friends told me I was an attention seeker and now they hate me. What do I do?

Community Answer

Move on and find new friends. Don't give them the satisfaction of toning down your personality just for them.

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Question

What should I do if I'm in a very crowded place (like school) but I don't want to be noticed very much?

Community Answer

Read a book in a corner, or walk close to the wall. Try not to talk as much to people.

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Question

Will a crush notice me not wanting to receive attention?

Community Answer

Most likely, no, but if you like said person, try being near them more or talking to them. It's a good way of building up confidence and earning their trust.

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Would walking silently help?

Community Answer

Yes, walking silently would be a good idea.

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What do I do if I sit next to an attention seeker?

Community Answer

This works to your advantage, because everyone will be focused on that person and not on you.

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Question

I'm a shy person. I get nervous in group of people and involuntarily try to avoid attention. Parents objectify me for this and I feel guilty, so what do I do?

Community Answer

Are you shy in the sense that you are ‘afraid’ of social interaction, so to speak? Or are you an introvert and being around large groups of people wears you out quickly? If the former, try working your way up to those large groups. Start by getting comfortable in smaller groups, with speaking clearly, making eye contact, actively participating, that sort of thing. Then move to a slightly bigger group, and up and up and up. It will take time, but you can do it. If the later, then that’s harder and you will need help from a good, kind and sympathetic therapist who is skilled in this issue.

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