Q&A for How to Find Out if a Girl Is Mad at You

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  • Question
    What do you say to a girl when she's upset?
    Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
    Psychotherapist
    Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
    Psychotherapist
    Expert Answer
    You probably don't want to criticize her, so don't accuse her of being irritated. What you really should do is to make it about yourself. Tell her that you're sensing that maybe she's upset and ask if everything is okay. That's a gentler approach that should remove her from the defensive stance.
  • Question
    How do you tell if a girl is mad at you through text?
    Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
    Psychotherapist
    Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
    Psychotherapist
    Expert Answer
    That's a little harder to tell if she's not direct, given that it's the body language that shows some subtle signs of anger, like an upset look or a sudden shift in energy. When in doubt, ask. Obviously, do it tactfully.
  • Question
    I proposed to the girl I love just two weeks ago and she told me she's thinking about it with a smile. Does that mean yes?
    Community Answer
    No, that means she's thinking about it. Don't push her to make a decision before she's ready.
  • Question
    My best friend is mad at me. I shouted at her and talked to her in a mean way. That was a month ago, I already tried to say I was sorry in every way, in person, via email, messages, and a letter but none of them have worked. She has blocked me, I have no way to contact her online, just in person. I am really scared and disappointed in myself. Lately I have been giving her space to think about the situation. What can I do now? I don't want to lose her.
    Community Answer
    Remember that forgiveness takes time and your friend may just need some space so she can be open to forgiving you. You should make an effort to show her that you are sorry for what you did and stay humble when you are around her. You may want to look at http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Amends for more information.
  • Question
    I have been in love with a girl for 2 years. I used to message her on WhatsApp about how much I love her, but she didn't reply. Will she go out with me?
    Community Answer
    If she hasn't replied to your declarations of love, she's not interested. It's been two years. If she liked you back, she would have told you by now. It would be best to move on and find someone else.
  • Question
    I have a one-sided love. The girl doesn't want to be in relationship with me. She is very cute and innocent; she's never had a boyfriend. She is mad at me, and her friends are made at me also. So what should I do?
    Community Answer
    You should apologize. Girls love it when you apologize. Say that you won't do whatever you did and ask for forgiveness.
  • Question
    I was waiting for my girlfriend, and this other girl came up and asked me a question. I responded, and then my girlfriend came up and told me she didn't want to hang out anymore.
    Community Answer
    Yeah, she's mad. Try to explain to her that you were just answering someone's question, and it meant nothing. Tell her that she's the one you care about, and there's no one else. Then just give her a little space to get over it. You didn't do anything wrong, so try not to worry too much.
  • Question
    I'm in a new relationship. We spoke on the phone last night, laughing and joking, but this evening she seemed kind of upset with me, and I don't know what's wrong. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Have you asked her what's wrong? If she won't tell you or you can't figure it out, try to remember everything that's happened recently or that you said. Think through the details. Sometimes girl can get offended by something that seems really small or insignificant.
  • Question
    My girlfriend started acting all cold lately. When asked what the problem was, she said it's a personal issue that doesn't concern me. She doesn't pick up my calls or reply my texts. Am I the problem?
    Community Answer
    Her description of the problem seems to indicate that it's not you, but who knows - she could be being passive-aggressive or trying to push you away, whether because you upset her somehow or because she's not interested in the relationship anymore and doesn't want to say so outright. There's no reason for her to be cold to you if you haven't done anything wrong. If she needs some space to deal with her personal issues, she should be able to tell you so kindly. Try to let her know that you would like some clarity on where your relationship stands and would like to know when/whether she might be able to talk to you again.
  • Question
    I don't know if I upset her, but she isn't responding or wanting to talk on the phone very often in the past 3 days. Is she upset with me, or did I do something wrong?
    Community Answer
    There are a number of possibilities with this one. She might be genuinely angry with you, or she might just need some space. Maybe she's bored with you. Perhaps you're trying to go too fast with a relationship or perhaps you said something that scared or disgusted her. It's really all down to your previous actions. If you have been insensitive, perverted, or awkward, those are all reasons why she might have disappeared. If you haven't done anything, don't expect the worst and dramatize the situation or be too clingy. There are other plausible reasons she could be unresponsive that have nothing to do with emotions. She could have just lost her charger.
  • Question
    This girl I'm talking to has been giving me the cold shoulder, ignoring my texts and calls. I know she is mad, but she wont tell me why.
    Community Answer
    Be nice to her and ask her in person. If she still won't tell you, then give her a little space. After a bit, you could pretend nothing happened or say you are sorry for whatever you've done.
  • Question
    Am I overreacting or is this relationship not a good idea?
    Olafthepanda
    Community Answer
    If you're asking yourself that question, then it is most likely not a good idea.
  • Question
    I have a girl who spends a lot of time with her friends. What should I do in order to spend time with her?
    Community Answer
    Become friends with her friends. If you sort of shimmie your way into her friendships, you're hanging out with her more often.
  • Question
    My girlfriend won't speak to me or even be around me. She says she isn't mad, but I don't know if she still wants to be in the relationship or not. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    She might be mad about something she's not ready to talk about, or she might be upset about something else that has nothing to do with you. If you've tried to talk to her and she hasn't responded, just give her some space and try not to worry for now.
  • Question
    My girlfriend is mad at me because I offended her. When I apologize, she just walks away. Does that mean she'll hate me forever?
    Community Answer
    Probably not. If she's that mad, just give her some space for a while. Once she's calmed down, try to apologize again. If whatever you said/did wasn't that bad, she should forgive you.
  • Question
    My girlfriend won't talk to me at school or answer my texts. She won't even look me in the eye. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Maybe you could bring her flowers or chocolate. A small gesture like this might make her more likely to talk to you, at least so she can explain what's wrong. If you did something to hurt her, apologize for it. If you have any mutual friends, you could also try asking one of them to ask her why she's upset with you.
  • Question
    A girl keeps staring with me...Her friends laugh at me when I pass by! Does she like me?
    Community Answer
    Staring and laughter can indicate a romantic interest, but you should also look for other signs that the girl likes you. Look at http://www.wikihow.com/Know-if-a-Girl-Likes-You for more information.
  • Question
    If a girl groans when I'm around is she mad at me?
    Community Answer
    It could mean she is mad, or she could be joking around with you. If you are unsure, just ask her.
  • Question
    My teammate is usually nice to me, but her behavior has been quite different these last two days. Why could be wrong?
    I like sushi
    Top Answerer
    Try asking her if something is wrong or if you did anything to upset her or hurt her feelings.
  • Question
    A girl was interested in me, but after a one-month holiday she ignores me and looks angrily at me. What can I do? I want a relationship with her.
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Of course, it's anyone's guess why she may be angry, or maybe you just misinterpreted this. However, it seems like she is mad because she showed interest and you didn't respond in time. It is not often that a woman will actually confirm "if you asked me out now, I would say yes", so when she does do it, it can be irritating, infuriating and frustrating if you do not respond - regardless of whether you were on vacation. Now, this is a lesson of life, of course, and I mean for her. Just because she's interested doesn't automatically mean she'll get you, though some women seem to assume this. If you want a relationship with her, talk to her. Ask why she's angry.
  • Question
    A friend and I had a big fight on Monday & Wednesday, and she won't forgive me. I'm not the one who needs to apologize. She has all my friends on her side. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    It doesn't matter if you aren't the one who needs to apologize. If you just want her to be your friend again, apologize sincerely. If not, just wait it out, don't be mean, and avoid her until she apologizes.
  • Question
    This girl and I like each other. Usually when I email her she replies right away, but lately she has not been replying, and when I look at her, she looks away. Is she mad?
    Community Answer
    She might be mad, or there might be something else going on in her life that is upsetting her or preventing her from responding to your emails. Try to think of any reason she might have to be upset with you, or just ask her if she's mad.
  • Question
    I am in a relationship with my girlfriend of 9 months. I try to make her happy always, but anytime we have a misunderstanding, she always wants to break up. She also still loves her ex-boyfriend. What should I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Make sure you're not being manipulated/ Saying things like "Do this or I'm breaking up with you" is extremely unfair. You do not exist to serve her and cater to her needs. It's also no way to win an argument: "Say I'm right and you're wrong or I'm breaking up with you." She wants to be in a relationship with you, and that love should be unconditional. Explain that to her. If she does still love her ex, if she does manipulate you, or if she doesn't learn why threatening to break up is unfair, find a new love.
  • Question
    I feel bad about asking my girlfriend's sister for help instead of finding out by asking my gf. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Apologize to your girlfriend and make sure she knows you mean it. Explain why you asked her sister.
  • Question
    I asked my girlfriend if she was mad at me, and she said "No, I'm not." Is she mad at me, or is this a good sign?
    Rubidium
    Community Answer
    It depends, really. What tone of voice did she say it in? Was it a normal reply, or was it in a passive aggressive or annoyed tone? If it sounded normal, the chances are that she isn't mad at you.
  • Question
    We had a fight few months back. After that she is not responding to my messages and calls. Sometimes she responds to my messages, sometimes not. How can I understand this?
    Lrb
    Community Answer
    You can ask her how she feels and if she's still mad at you. You can also say that you need a more clear understanding of where you two stand and that by not talking to you and then all the sudden talking to you has become confusing. Just ask her what she is doing.
  • Question
    I confessed to someone, she said sometimes I made her happy and sees me as friend. I made a mistake by confessing over and over again I know I was wrong, so I apologise. She never replies, what should I do?
    Lrb
    Community Answer
    If you kept confessing and confessing and now she isn't replying, she probably feels that her saying "No" wasn't respected by you. I would literally not communicate with her for a week or two. No texts, calls, in-person you should acknowledge and nod hello but don't run over and corner her. After some time has passed for both of you, you can reach out and say: "Just wanted to let you know that I apologize again for coming off so strongly. I care about you, but I respect that you aren't interested in dating. If you'd like to be friends, I am willing to try that. If not, I'm very sorry and I wish you all the best". Just that straightforward.
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