Q&A for How to Get Adult Kids to Pay Their Share

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I don't feel comfortable living with my parents because of their abuse and violence toward me. I have planned to move, but my income is too low. What should I do? I need a place to stay.

Community Answer

Find a room for rent in a shared house and pick up a second job if you have to.

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Question

How much should my adult children contribute to my household while they live with me?

Community Answer

If they are working, they should pay a proportionate share of the household expenses. The amount is totally up to you as the homeowner and depends on the costs involved. If they are not working, they should take on some of the household chores until they do start to work.

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Question

How much should my 18 year old be contributing? She gets varied wages each week as she is self-employed.

Community Answer

$100 a month is fair unless she cleans and cooks or is in school full-time. Give her the choice of contributing to the household either financially or manually.

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Question

My children refuse to pay, contribute to chores or anything else besides using up dishes or picking up after themselves. How do I make them recognize that they do use dishes and towels, shampoo, soap, etc.?

Community Answer

Get a lock for your bedroom door. Remove your towels, soap, shampoo, and box up the dishes. Only worry about dining needs for you and your spouse. If they want a shower, they will have to buy towels, soap, shampoo, etc. Disconnect the cable and internet to their room and change the wifi password to something they do not know.

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Question

How do I get my adult kids to contribute rent?

Community Answer

Ask them point blank for some money each week to pay for them to stay at your house. You can preface the request with a brief chat about adult responsibility and learning to budget and carry their own weight while still living at home, so that they'll be able to carry that forward when they're more independent.

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Question

What should I do if the situation gets violent?

Community Answer

Violence is criminal behavior and police deal with criminals! Get to a safe spot and call 911. Don't wait as things will only get worse.

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Question

I am disabled and on a fixed low income. My child is 35 with a good job making twice the income that I receive. What % of his income and/or housework should I charge, if any?

HumanBeing

Top Answerer

It wouldn't be unreasonable to ask your child for what they would have to pay in rent for a bedsit in your area. If you do housework for your child, you've chosen to do that and shouldn't charge. You should be sharing the housework equally, as much as practically possible. Be careful though - if you are in receipt of state benefit, income from your child, as a member of the household, may have a negative effect on your benefit.

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Question

How do I approach my adult daughter to start paying rent without sounding too demanding?

Community Answer

Just say something like, "You know I'm really happy to have you staying here, but I think it's time you start pitching in on some of the bills. I was think maybe [x amount of dollars] a month in rent would be reasonable, what do you think?"

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