Q&A for How to Get Out of a Text Fight with a Friend

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When should you let a friend go?

Tala Johartchi, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Tala Johartchi is a Clinical Psychologist based in the Los Angeles, California metro area. With expertise and advanced training in Evidence-Based Practices and therapeutic/behavioral frameworks, Dr. Johartchi specializes in working with individuals, couples, and families experiencing Substance Disorders, Love Addiction and Codependency, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well as common co-occurring disorders such as Depression, Anxiety, and Relational/Attachment difficulties. She earned an MA and PsyD in Clinical Psychology from The American School of Professional Psychology at Argosy University, San Francisco.

Tala Johartchi, PsyD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

When it comes to your friendships, it's important to evaluate the people around you and ensure that they want to grow and evolve with you, without being stuck in negative patterns. Make sure you surround yourself with people who want to grow with you. Otherwise, your friendships will feel incredibly unfulfilling.

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My best friend is really mad at me for saying something really mean. I want him back. I apologized, but he isn't responding. What should I do to get him back?

Community Answer

Wait. It takes some time to forgive if the words really hurt. If he truly is your friend and you've sincerely apologized, he should eventually forgive you.

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How can I get out of a fight when my friend and I are saying hurtful things to each other and are saying we care about each other but are not showing it?

ThegreatA

Community Answer

First, find what the problem is. If you want to solve it, you need to know it. After that, tell your friend that you dislike so much the idea of you fighting and mention how much you care about your friendship. Learn to say sorry more often, and when it comes to saying hurtful things, say things that you are grateful for, like: ''Thank you for helping me with...'', ''Thank you for being there when I needed,'' and other things. Do not try to run from it, try to solve it. In the end everything is going to be okay!

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How do I end a friendship when they still have my belongings?

Community Answer

Get your belongings, then end it.

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How do I apologize to my friend? We've been fighting for a year. Now something big has happened and I want to apologize.

Community Answer

Just get in touch with her and tell her you're sorry for whatever happened. If you can do it in person, that would be even better. Since it's been a while, she's probably over her hurt feelings and she should be open to renewing the friendship. Tell her you've been thinking about her a lot since this "big thing" happened, and it reminded you of how much she means to you.

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My best friend said that he'll never leave me under any circumstances and that I'll always be his best friend. But now we had a fight and the fault was mine. Will he forgive me?

Community Answer

Yes he will, depending on what kind of person he is. Remember, actions speak louder than words. Just saying "sorry" wouldn't make any affect. If he does not accept you with you just saying sorry, write a nice note to him and put things on his desk that he likes, such as cookies, notebooks, etc. Write the note with all your heart, then put your little "present" on his desk. If you give it to him face to face, there can be a chance he will ignore or reject it. Leaving it on his desk, he will not know it's you when he sees it, but once he opens it, he will get a chance to read the letter.

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What should I do if my friend is mad at me over a tiny argument?

Community Answer

You should talk to her about what happened, and ask what she is still mad about. You guys can work together to come to an amicable solution.

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I think my best friend hates me but, wants to be my friend for the popularity. What do I do?

Community Answer

You could try talking to her about it. Tell her how you're feeling and why, mention exactly what she does that makes you feel like she doesn't like you. If you're already certain that this is how she really feels, you should just tell her you don't want to be friends anymore.

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My friend and I live very far away from each other and can't talk face to face. How should I end the argument without losing my friend?

Community Answer

Text or call her and apologize, even if you don't feel like you did anything wrong. If she doesn't want to talk to you, wait a little while and try again. If she tries to argue with you again while you're apologizing, say something like, "I can tell you're still upset about this, let's try talking again when you're feeling a little more calm."

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My friend and I have been fighting for two days, and we were fine, but then she brought up something else and now she is saying how far I've taken it and how it's really disappointing. What do I do?

Community Answer

You should ask if you can leave it all in the past and just move on. Maybe even tell her you're sorry you overreacted, and let her know that her friendship is very important to you. If she's a good friend and a mature person, she'll probably apologize too.

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I’m trying to defend a boy who was making jokes about 9/11. My friend started swearing at me when I said it was dark humor. A few days later I asked for an apology and she started the fight again.

Community Answer

Your friend has every right to be offended by a joke about 9/11, though that doesn't mean she was right to swear at you. I think you should just agree to disagree and drop the whole thing. Instead of demanding an apology, why don't you be the bigger person and say you're sorry for not considering her point-of-view? If you do this, there's a good chance she'll apologize in return.

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My friend and I recently got in a fight over text and she’s not responding. Maybe it’s because I lost my temper and kept texting but I never said anything hurtful. What should I do?

Community Answer

Try to talk to her in person. Emotions can be misread when texting as you can't always know the feelings behind the words. Tell her that you're willing to explain things face to face and offer to buy her a coffee to chat it over.

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My bestie and I got into a fight on iMessage. She hates me and she’s soooo mean! Should I delete her or not?

Lia

Community Answer

If you're friends with someone who hates you and is mean to you, they really aren't your friend. If she was mean to you only because of the fight, maybe you should keep her texts open and see if she ever apologizes. However, if your friend is always mean to you, you should probably block her or delete her contact.

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My friend and I got into a text fight and I unfortunately also name-called him back and said hurtful things as well. Now he wants nothing to do with me. I have already apologized several times. What do I do?

Lia

Community Answer

Your friend is probably sensitive, so give him some space for a while. Later, come up to him and say, "Hey, I really miss our friendship. I'm so sorry for everything I said. I was mad at the time and didn't mean it. I just really want to be your friend again."

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