Q&A for How to Know if Your Friend Is Really a Friend

If she doesn't stand by you in hard times, she is not a good friend. You should make new friends. You can either tell this "friend" that it isn't working out and you don't want to be friends anymore, or just start avoiding her until she gets the message.

Find out exactly what it is about your character that people dislike. While it's never a good idea to try to change yourself solely to please other people, a mature person is willing to hear criticism and learn and grow from it. Perhaps you make fun of others or are rude? If so, work on changing those behaviors.

Maybe it just took them a little while to get over their hurt feelings. Sometimes this happens. If you think they're sincere, that they really forgive you and want to be friends again, you should accept that, believe them, and stay friends.

Try talking to her about this. It's possible she doesn't even know she's doing it. Just say something like, "I feel like when you get mad, you take it out on me, even when I haven't done anything wrong. It hurts my feelings." If she is dismissive of your feelings or unwilling to change, she's not a good friend and you should distance yourself from her.

I understand. Making friends is really hard. Do you know any other autistic peers? You could try asking someone if you could hang out with them for a bit. Try complimenting people. Also, you can try making a list of everyone you might want to be friends with and asking them to hang out one by one. Ask people questions about their life. If there's a group of friends you'd like to join, try asking them, "So how did you all meet?"

Be straightforward, respectful, and assertive, and tell them to stop spreading your secrets. You may feel like sharing that you feel hurt and disrespected, and that this is making you reevaluate your friendship in order to make your point more forcefully and to let them know that their actions have had consequences.

It doesn't necessarily mean she was never your friend, it just means she is angry and acting very immaturely. Don't let the rumors get to you, because that's what she wants. If you do want to try to repair this friendship, I would apologize for your part in the argument, but tell her you'd like an apology as well.

A friend is someone who helps you through tough times and helps you grow. This person may be a friend, but perhaps not a good or close friend.

You have already done what you can. Now just give her time to think about it and hopefully come to conclusion that she should forgive you. If she doesn't forgive you, consider bringing another party into the conversation, like a mutual friend, counselor, etc., or just do your best to move on.

A good way is to stop texting, calling or emailing them for a while. If they start to call you, text or email asking if you are okay, then you know that they are true.

He just may not be a texting person. Try a phone call or Skype.

For starters, your friend is definitely using you if you feel like a credit card. If your friend depends on you for spending money, s/he is using you. If you are a bit higher up the popularity ladder that friend of yours, and it seems like your fake friend is chumming up a bit too much with your group and you feel like you are being overthrown (basically s/he is taking your place in your group) then sure, you got yourself a wrong person to call a friend. Intuitions are NOT to be ignored. They are intel with which your brain processes faster than your body can cope. Even if it is a FEELING, trust me, gut feelings are your best friend in the biggest of situations.

Unless she literally ALWAYS does this, probably not. More than likely she just has other friends and wants to split her time between everyone. Let her spend time with other people, try not to be too clingy or jealous.

To make that person more comfortable with you, try sharing something personal (but not too personal). Compliment her and be nice to her. If she still doesn't warm up to you, let it go.

Talk to him about how this makes you feel. Hopefully he has a good reason for his absences; if not, he simply may not value the friendship as much as you do.

It sounds like he just really likes spending time with you. If you find this to be "too much," just let him know that you really value the friendship, but you can't be with him every Sunday, you have other things to do, other people to see, etc.

Just relax and don't worry. If it's your friend, there is no need to worry.

These people are not real friends. If you told them they're hurting your feelings and they're continuing to act that way, they don't care about you. Find some new friends. It might take a little while, but you'll be better off in the long run. You don't need these people in your life.

That depends. Do you call them? If you call regularly but they don't, decide if you're ok with putting more effort into the relationships.

I think you should just find a new friend. Not only is she not making time for you, she's not respecting you or your feelings. If she really cared, she would not be so dismissive.

Like siblings, cousins sometimes pick on each other or don't get along, but they will always be your family. If their behavior is bothering you, try talking to them about it, or if they won't listen to you, try talking to your parents or their parents.

If you're feeling bad about the lie, the best thing to do is apologize and tell them the truth. If they're a good friend, they will most likely understand and forgive you.

That's a pretty minor detail, perhaps she just thinks you'd prefer to rest and not be bothered when you're not feeling well. If she treats you well and acts like she cares for you aside from that, I wouldn't worry about it. Of course, you could always tell her how you feel about her not contacting you when you're sick, she probably has no idea that it bothers you.

Have a talk with her about it. Tell her it feels like she doesn't have any time for you, and you miss her and want to hang out. If she's not very receptive to the conversation, and/or things don't change between you, it might be best to just find some new friends.

Maybe, it would be best to ask her. If she says she doesn't want to get involved ask her why. Just remember that some people get very stressed out over confrontation so they try to avoid getting involved in things. She could be one of those people.

Usually you can tell these things by how someone acts around and toward you. Does she call or text you often? Does she want to hang out? Does she share her thoughts and feelings with you? These are all signs.

Try talking to them. If you don't feel comfortable approaching them all together, pull one or two friends aside and let them know that you're feeling left out and excluded because you don't have a boyfriend. Maybe invite everybody over for a sleepover or some other "female bonding" experience. If they're not receptive to this conversation, and/or things don't change, you might need to consider finding new friends.

I doubt it. It seems like she's not seeing you as a real friend, but someone to use. Begin to move away from her and see how she responds. Trying to turn you against other friends indicates that this person is manipulative, and do you want that sort of person in your life?

It's possible they just see you as more of an acquaintance than a close friend. You could try talking to them about how this makes you feel, or just go into your interactions with this person with the awareness that they might walk away at any time and start talking to someone else. Of course, you could also just tell them you don't want to be friends anymore.

Sometimes people can just adopt different personalities for different situations. He's probably trying to show off and look cool in front of this other friend. If the change bothers you, talk to him about it in private. Let him know that he's hurt your feelings or that you don't like his cold attitude. If all else fails, try not to hang out with the two of them together.