Q&A for How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust

A key factor in infatuation is having strong feelings for someone else without knowing a lot about who they actually are. With infatuation, you typically feel a very excited yet unsteady and ungrounded feeling. You feel like your head is in the clouds and like this person can do no wrong, when in reality, you don't really know much about them.

When you actually love someone, you have seen all sides to them. You've seen them at the best and in their lower moments and you still choose them. Real love has an undercurrent of peace to it—you feel excited about the other person and happy when you see or speak to them, but you don't feel on a high that can come crashing down at any moment.

A good boyfriend will know that there's more to a relationship than sex. If he loves you and cares about you, sex shouldn't be the most important thing. If your boyfriend is pressuring you for sex, you should find someone else.

Yes, these two words are used pretty much interchangeably. It means you like the person, but you probably don't know them very well. It might turn into love if you get to know them better, but it might not!

Ideally, yes. It's understandable if you sometimes have insecurities or lapses in trust, but if you find you really can't trust someone at all, that's a good sign you shouldn't be with them.

Make it clear that your ex's advances are unwelcome and that the relationship is over. Block your ex on your phone, email and social media.

The best way is to be honest and up front. Approach him when you two can talk privately together and just say something like, "I've been thinking about it, and while I really like you as a friend, I don't think this relationship is working out." He'll probably be a little upset, but it's better to just tell him and get it over with.

There's some good advice in Fall Out of Love .

Keep being friends. You have all the time in the world. Your romantic feelings about each other may change, or they may stay the same. Only time will tell. But if you're not ready right now, don't try to force it, or you may lose them entirely.

Absolutely! Once your divorce has been finalized by the court, you are free to apply for a new marriage license.

You can’t really figure this out from a kiss; it could be either, both, or neither. If you want to know whether it’s love or lust, think about your relationship with each other.

Distract yourself with things that require a lot of focus, like schoolwork, reading, your hobbies, hanging out with friends and family, etc. Give yourself a specific time each day to think about your crush, i.e. 15 minutes in the morning or before you go to bed. When you start thinking about your crush at other times, just tell yourself, "I will think about him/her later, at the proper time."

They probably do. Try talking to them about your feelings, or if you want to be subtle, make a flirtatious remark or two and see how they respond.

Can you imagine dating him, holding his hand, kissing him, doing more intimate things? Can you imagine introducing him to your family? Can you imagine any kind of future together? If you think about these questions and you're still not sure, maybe you could be honest with him about how you're struggling with this, and ask him if he wants to date on a casual, trial basis for now.

That's a pretty severe infatuation. If you find yourself thinking about hurting him or taking advantage of him if you two don't get together, you should see a psychiatrist. Healthy love doesn't involve fantasizing about harming the object of your affection.

Don’t overreact. Try to avoid saying something that makes your partner feel bad about not giving you sex. Ask your partner what they would like to do instead.

When you are attracted mainly to a person's physical features and feel like doing sexual things with them, that is lust, not love.

Just. Ask. Her. Don't live in confusion. Asking her will clear all misunderstanding among you and it will be better for both of you.

There is nothing wrong with trying to flirt with a lot of girls at the same time, since he doesn't have a girlfriend yet. If you really like him, make a move and ask him on a date. Try to be logical and reasonable to judge what kind of a person he is. If he tries to be friendly to other girls, you can tell him you don't like that (only do this when you guys are more serious in the relationship). If he loves you, he will stop. If he is a playboy, don't bring more troubles to your life. There are many nicer guys who are looking for you.

If she is really an important person in your life, be patient, wait for her. Don't try to flirt with her because that will only make you appear more pathetic. Try to be a good friend to her. The foundation of love is friendship anyway. If she is just a fling, move on. Life has so much more to offer. Find your courage and you will find someone who truly appreciates you.

Think deeply about how you got to this point. What actions and inactions on your end, and on your partner’s end led to this. If your partner wasn’t honest about his/herself with you, particularly on a topic important to you, that may be why. Likewise if you’ve not been focusing on her and her happiness it may be on you (apologies to other gendered pairs, trying to keep this simple). Comms are key. Talk, even if it’s initially uncomfortable, with your partner and be honest with her. Lay out what’s bugging you, let her have a say too. It may be something fixable but unknown to you is causing her to put distance between you two.

Take things slowly. Be yourself, vulnerabilities and all. If you find one another still attractive on an emotional and mental level (beyond the physical) after some dates, advance the relationship. Don’t get physical too early; look for cues from your partner before making a move. If there’s no connection beyond the physical, you might see if your partner is okay with that; if the answer is no, you’ve got to take your lumps and move on. Consent for anything (dates, romance, etc.) is key. Last tip: don’t ignore body language.

That's not possible. If they like you back, they won't reject you, but if they don't, you can't do anything about that. Just be honest about your feelings and hope for the best.

Give her time to mend from her recent breakup; she should be the one to re-initiate if/when she’s ready. If you both really like each other, it should work with time!