Q&A for How to Tell Somebody to Not Call You Every Day

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What should I do if I still want to stay in touch with them, just not every day over the phone?

Christina Jay, NLP
Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach
Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University.

Christina Jay, NLP

Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach

Expert Answer

Tell them that you can't answer the phone every day, but you're willing to stay in touch with them via text or email instead.

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Question

My best friend and I were talking every day, but all of the sudden he hasn't responded in 8 days. He has health problems, and I'm worried. What should I do?

Community Answer

If you've tried getting in touch by phone and/or social media, reach out to any mutual friends or acquaintances, or anyone who knows him. If you know where he lives and it is nearby, stop by his house.

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Question

My friend calls every day, writes down everything I say, and has spyware on her computer to snoop into the personal life of my friends and family. How do I protect myself from her?

Quitty_Cat

Community Answer

Slowly distance yourself from her, not making it obvious. Change all your passwords as soon as you can, and report her to the authorities for using the spyware.

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My wife's niece calls three times a day, even when we are having dinner, and every time is to tell my wife something bad, hat is happening, like even if she has a cold, she has to tell my wife, or to gossip. It causes me anxiety, what should I do?

Community Answer

First, talk to your wife to let her know how this is affecting you personally and you as a couple. Your wife probably feels obliged to take the calls but hasn't really cottoned on to how much her niece's negativity upsets you personally too. She will need to understand that bringing this external negativity into your home life affects both of you and is therefore inappropriate. Politely ask your wife to tell the niece to call less often and to make it clear that unless it's really important, that it's not acceptable to call at dinnertime or late at night or at any other unsuitable time. Also suggest that your wife limit conversations with the niece to only one call per two days or such and to let the niece know this too.

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Question

I have a problem with my sister ringing me every single day. She can call up to 20 times a day, and I live 250 miles away. She lives on her own and has 4 sons living nearby. What do I do?

Community Answer

Calmly explain to her that you can't talk to her every single day because you have your own life, responsibilities, etc. See if you can schedule regular phone dates, like once or twice a week, where you'll always be available to talk to her, and stick to those dates. If she continues calling you constantly, you don't need to feel guilty about not answering.

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i used to like taking phone calls but now I feel like phone calls are stressful because I'm on a phone call for 1-3 hours listening to everyone's problems. How can I stop this?

Community Answer

Set a limit for yourself. Tell yourself you will only be on the phone for a set time, like 5-5:30 PM. If you are on the phone because other people make you feel you have to talk to them for a long time, get used to saying things like: "Well it has been good to talk to you but I have to go now". You do not need to make excuses, just make it clear the time for talking is up. You establish the phone boundaries you want others to respect.

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