Q&A for How to Tell Someone You Don't Like Them

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  • Question
    How do I reject someone without hurting them?
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Tell them as soon as you know how you're feeling since waiting can make the feeling worse.
  • Question
    What should I do if a boy at school likes me, but I'm not sure if I like him back?
    Community Answer
    Imagine yourself dating him. If it doesn't seem right, you probably don't fit together. If it does work, imagine yourself kissing him. If you think "Ew", it's probably not the best idea to date him.
  • Question
    What do I do if I have already told them yes for friendship, but now don't want to talk anymore?
    Community Answer
    Just ask if you can take a little break. Tell them you want to talk to more people without being interrupted and promise that you can talk soon.
  • Question
    How do I avoid irritating guys?
    Community Answer
    First, make sure that you are hanging out in places that "irritating guys" don't hang out in. Surround yourself with good people and you are much less likely to encounter jerks. Really, there are going to be people that you think are "irritating" everywhere, but it is important to shut down annoying behavior right away and exit the situation.
  • Question
    What if they're super nice and they like you, but you just don't feel anything towards them?
    Community Answer
    There will be people on this planet that you like and don't like, that's just life. It takes bravery to stand up to your foe, but it takes 100 times more bravery to stand up to a friend or a nice person who just isn't going to be a person you want to hang with. Be polite, and try your best to avoid them. You can also try a more direct approach by saying, "I'm just not interested, even though you're a really awesome person.
  • Question
    What happens if you start to text a guy and he says I love you? I don't know what to say back.
    Community Answer
    If you don't love him or even like him, you're not obligated to say "I love you." In fact, you never have to say "I love you" to someone. Just text what you feel. You could say, "I like you, but I don't think I'm quite to love yet." Alternatively, you could say, "I don't really have romantic feelings for you, but I like hanging out with you as a friend."
  • Question
    What do I do if a guy really likes me, but I don't have any interest in him?
    Community Answer
    It can be kinder just to tell him you don't like him, rather than making him think he has a chance.
  • Question
    My friend is heartbroken, I know I shouldn't but I really feel like I need to talk to the person that broke her heart, how do I approach them?
    Community Answer
    I really would advise you not to talk to the guy that broke your friends heart. It makes him/her feel badgered, more likely to spread rumors, and you might get a response that is hostile. If he left the relationship then it is obvious that (s)he no longer likes your friend. I would instead focus on helping your friend get better. Ask her if there is anything you guys can go out and do to distract her, and if it gets serious, contact an adult to help you friend get back on her feet.
  • Question
    I have a friend who has a crush on me, but I don't like him. Even if I want him to be my friend, how can I avoid him?
    Community Answer
    Tell him calmly you don't like him that way, but compliment him and what a great friend he is and apologize if you think it is hurting his feelings. Over time it will be less awkward and you will just be friends.
  • Question
    What if that person is in my friend group, and though everyone else likes him, we always argue?
    Community Answer
    Try ignoring any snide comments the person makes. Keep it civil, and just enjoy the company of your other friends.
  • Question
    What do I do when someone is asking me to be their friend? I say "no," but they keep asking.
    Community Answer
    You just need to make sure they hear you. Say, "No, I don't want to be your friend. I would appreciate it if you stop asking me."
  • Question
    What do I say to a boy who asked me to a dance, but everyone is watching?
    Community Answer
    Just dance with him. Who cares if everyone is watching? Think of it as a grand gesture.
  • Question
    What can I do if I've dropped many hints to my classmate that I don't like him, but he's still staring at me all the time?
    Community Answer
    Some people just can't pick up on subtle hints. Tell him straight out that he is making you uncomfortable, and ask him to stop staring. Bring a friend with you if you're nervous to do it on your own. If the behavior continues, let a teacher know what's going on.
  • Question
    I have a friend who is so sweet, but can be a bit embarrassing. How do I tell her I want her to stop doing a few of those embarrassing actions?
    Community Answer
    If I were you, I wouldn't ask her to change. The reality is that if she is a little embarrassing, that is just how she is and she'll probably feel attacked and insecure if you ask her to change. You don't have to stay friends with her. If you really want to stay friends with her and you can't get over her embarrassing behavior, ask her in a non-accusatory tone and tell her why it is bothering you. Really, explanation is key, but don't make her feel attacked.
  • Question
    What if I already told my best friend that I will go to an event with her, but instead I am going with someone else?
    Community Answer
    You should probably go with your best friend anyway. A promise is a promise.
  • Question
    What if my friend hates me?
    Community Answer
    If your friend hates you, it's better off that you confront them about it ,and accept their feelings. Move on o friends who respect and like you.
  • Question
    What do I do if a friend is being too clingy and I don't want to be her friend anymore?
    Community Answer
    Just start distancing yourself from her. Stop returning her calls or texts. If she asks you to hang out, tell her you have plans. You could also just tell her directly that you need some space.
  • Question
    I hate one of my classmates and wish that he would die, what should I do?
    Community Answer
    Talk to a teacher or guidance counselor at school about how you're feeling. It's worrisome that you feel this strongly about someone. You shouldn't want anyone to die. If you don't like someone, just avoid them. If you feel like you're having anger or emotional issues, please get some help.
  • Question
    What can you do if your are dating somebody to be nice, but you do not really like them?
    Community Answer
    It's better to break up with them now. Otherwise, you're just leading them on, which means more hurt feelings later.
  • Question
    What if your friends think you like a person you do not?
    Community Answer
    Just tell them calmly that you don't like the person (don't act angry or upset, or they could see it as suspiciously defensive). Ask them what makes them think you like the person, and if necessary, explain how they're interpreting things wrong. They should believe you. If not, don't worry about it - it's really not of much consequence what they think.
  • Question
    What if they physically hurt me, and I'm not speaking to them?
    Community Answer
    If they in any way did you wrong, the best revenge is to live well. Continue to ignore them, karma will sort it out.
  • Question
    What's if he gave me a Valentine's Day gift? He looked so excited to give me the card, but I just don't like him like that. I'm kinda scared he will ask me out. What should I do?
    jamie horowitz
    Community Answer
    Tell him that you really appreciate the Valentine's Day card/gift and that you just want to be friends right now. Try a direct approach. Even though it can be brutal, it can also establish right off the bat that you don't want to go any further.
  • Question
    What if I have no other friends?
    Sophie Lopez Lazo
    Community Answer
    Try to make new ones, make a fresh start off new with people you don't know. It's often better to be alone, though, than hang around with someone you don't like.
  • Question
    My friend has a crush on me, but he says bad things to me and treats my stuff like trash. I don't like him. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Ignore him. Stop being his friend if he's not treating you well, and definitely don't let him borrow any of your stuff. If he still won't leave you alone, tell the teacher.
  • Question
    How can I let someone know I don't like them and that I am not jealous of anything?
    Community Answer
    Well, you can't tell a person you're not jealous without seeming jealous. Just avoid the person. Be civil when you do need to interact, but ignore the person otherwise.
  • Question
    How can I let a guy know I don't like him if I try to avoid him, but he follows me around?
    Community Answer
    If I were you, I would straight-up ask him why he is following you around and say it is a little awkward and you'd prefer to be left alone. It might be a little harsh, but some people just won't get the message unless you're very direct.
  • Question
    What if there was a boy I liked and he liked me back but I got over it and he didn't? How do I tell him without it being awkward?
    Community Answer
    First make sure you are 100% sure that you are over the boy because things can get messy if you change your mind later. If you want to tell him that you have moved on, wait until he does something that makes you feel uncomfortable so you can tell him directly "I don't like it when you do that anymore." That makes it clear to him that this behavior is going on (so he can't deny it) and he can see first-hand what is making you feel uncomfortable. Hopefully, he will get the message from there. He might ask you why, and to that you can just answer that you don't feel like you used to. Try to keep explanations short so he doesn't feel accused. If he doesn't leave you alone, get help.
  • Question
    There's a boy a year older than me who lives in my neighborhood and keeps asking if I want to hang out. He likes me, but I don't like him at all. What should I do?
    jamie horowitz
    Community Answer
    You should try to be honest with him and tell him that you just want to be friends and that is it. If you don't want to be friends, try to tell him, nicely, that you just don't have time to hang out with someone new right now.
  • Question
    What if I tried telling them but they won't stop asking to be friends?
    Lily Plummer
    Community Answer
    Cut off any way they can contact you, and try to make them understand that it's not a healthy relationship.
  • Question
    How do I reject multiple friends?
    Community Answer
    Gather them together, make sure they are all in one place, and follow the steps above.
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