Q&A for How to Tell if You Are in Love

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What should I do if I keep falling in love too quickly?

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 15 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.

Maya Diamond, MA

Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

It's very easy to project like this. Basically, what you're doing is taking all of your hopes and desires about falling in love and projecting them on this new partner. One way to stop this is to notice when you're wandering into the realm of fantasy instead of reality. Whenever you do this, make a conscious effort to pull yourself back to the present so you don't let your thoughts run wild.

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Question

My boyfriend and I have only been dating for a little more than a week. He’s already told me he loves me. How can I know if I am in love with him?

Community Answer

Wait a little to see if you truly love him. Relationship don't happen overnight. Wait at least three weeks or more, then ask yourself these questions.

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For what age is this appropriate?

Nolan Burke (Batman129)

Community Answer

It is appropriate for all ages. Love is a beautiful thing and can happen to anyone.

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Question

What should I do if my partner wants to keep our relationship a secret from everyone, but I keep letting the secret out?

Community Answer

If you want to let people know, try making flirty moves in public. However, your partner has their reasons, and you should probably respect their wishes.

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I think I like a boy in my class, and I think he likes me too. What do I do?

Community Answer

Get to know him better. Don't jump right into a relationship, but start talking to him. See if you the two of you have anything in common and if you think you could imagine being more than friends. Take it slow.

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What if I have never talked to her before and I am shy?

Community Answer

Start a small conversation. If she still seems distant after you've talked a bit, she might not be the right one for you.

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Question

How long can I pursue my girlfriend?

Community Answer

Why are you pursuing her if she's already your girlfriend? If you're talking about someone who is not yet your girlfriend but you would like her to be, if she hasn't shown signs of returning your feelings in a couple of weeks, or if she's outright told you she's not interested, leave her alone.

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How do I tell why I'm in love with someone I met online?

Community Answer

If you've not met in person and spent time with the person, you're only in love with your image of this person. You can't really get a feel for someone's true personality online, but rather only what the person tells you, and without truly knowing the person, it's not love.

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What do I do if I'm having second thoughts about whether or not I'm in love?

Community Answer

Only you can decide if you're truly in love or not. Explore these feelings. Why are you having second thoughts? Is it something your partner did? Is it perhaps a red flag, something you know you should be worried about? Is your gut telling you that this is not a good relationship for you? It's usually best to trust your instincts, if that's the case.

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I have been hurt so many times that the idea of love scares me, yet I think I'm falling in love with my boyfriend. What do I do?

Js2005

Community Answer

You should accept the fact that you feel these feelings. Trust your gut, if he's said he loves you to you, then he's probably telling the truth. Put the past behind you and enjoy the present without having to worry about being hurt again. If you feel he's the type to hurt you, call it off.

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What do I do after telling someone I like them?

Community Answer

Wait a little while and if they haven't given you an answer yet, then tell them that: "I really like you but do you like me back? It is fine if you don't but I need peace of mind."

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How do I ask my partner what he wants for us in the future?

Community Answer

Bring it up subtly, maybe don’t ask the question outright but introduce it into the conversation gently. If your partner doesn’t respond to this then you might want to just ask. If your partner sees a future in your relationship then they will most likely be open to telling you what they want in that future.

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Question

I’ve been friends with a girl for a long time. I’m starting to wonder if what I’m feeling is love or just a close friendship. How can I know?

Calista McIntyre

Community Answer

It really depends on how the two of you interact with one another. If she’s just a really good friend she won’t always be the first one texting and she’ll act weird around you and be herself. If it’s love she will be the first one texting, she will apologize a lot, and she may seem to be uncomfortable around you due to her feelings for you. Try to read the signs and body language coming from her side first, then decide how you feel.

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