What Is My Type of Girl (LGBTQIA+)?

What is a type? In the dating world, types are specific personality and physical traits that categorize someone. Some people may say they have a “type,” meaning they are drawn to particular quirks, appearances, or attitudes. If you’re a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, specifically in a WLW (woman-loving-woman) relationship, you’ll probably come across a number of types while dating.

Before we dive in, it’s important to acknowledge that these types, terms, and phrases are inappropriate for anyone but lesbians to use. Types and labels help individuals identify themselves within a community, but they don’t explain all facets of a personality. Sexuality and identity are fluid spectrums, and labeling an individual with a stereotype without their permission could be offensive, inaccurate, and harmful.

Many of these terms stem from hurtful and derogatory language the LGBTQIA+ community has positively recoined. Consider avoiding these terms if you’re not a lesbian to respect the community’s history and struggle to define identity. The labels we’re sharing are specific to the lesbian community, but the traits, habits, and appearances of these types can be used to describe a variety of different queer women. None of these labels are absolute!

Now that you understand the technicalities, let’s dive into the different types of lesbians!

The Femme Lesbian: If someone’s classified as “femme,” they’re most likely stereotypically feminine. They enjoy dressing up, wearing makeup and dresses, typically have longer hair, and enjoy the frills of life.

The Butch Lesbian: When someone’s called a “butch,” they’re probably a bit more masculine. They have a swagger to their step, enjoy sports, keep their hair short, and might have a muscular physique.

The Chapstick Lesbian: The term “chapstick lesbian” is often used within the community to describe someone who’s neither “femme” nor “butch”—they’re a bit of both! Some days they like dressing up, while other days they enjoy keeping it casual.

The Alpha Lesbian: If someone’s deemed an “alpha lesbian,” they’re most likely at the top of everyone’s list. They have everything a girl could ask for—sex appeal, empathy, and confidence. They know how to own a room and wear flannel.

The Activist Lesbian: The “activist lesbian” is probably on the front lines of any political movement, especially when it comes to protecting their community. Their courage, bravery, and persuasive attitude immediately draw people to them, and they’re not afraid to start a friendly debate with whoever they see.