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Am I a Lesbian?

Take this quiz to find out!
Co-authored by Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC

Deb Schneider is an LGBTQ+ counselor who specializes in creating safe spaces at the high school and college levels.

Wondering if you’re into girls? Whether your TikTok’s “For You” page is suspiciously full of WLW content or whether you have zero idea what that means but think the girl from that coffee shop is really pretty… this quiz is for you.

Let’s jump in so you can explore how you feel about your sexuality!

Two women standing outside smile at the camera as they hold each other in a tight embrace.

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Questions Overview

1. Have you ever gotten “butterflies” around a girl?
  1. Yes, for sure.
  2. Only when this one specific girl talks to me or looks at me or shows me physical affection.
  3. I’ve felt nervous around a girl before, but I wouldn’t call it “butterflies.”
  4. No. Don’t think so.
2. Do your close female friendships ever feel intense or kind of romantic?
  1. Oh, I’ve definitely had a crush on my best friend.
  2. I’ve had one friendship that did feel a little different.
  3. I’m close with my friends, but I think those are just platonic “girl crushes.”
  4. Nope. Friends are important, but I don’t think about them romantically.
3. When you imagine a future with a guy, what do you picture?
  1. Oof. I can’t picture that at all.
  2. I can see myself ending up with a guy but can’t imagine what he’d look like or be like.
  3. I don’t know if a long-term relationship with a guy is right for me.
  4. That sounds like something I’d want!
4. Who do you mainly have crushes on?
  1. Girls, female celebrities, or fictional female characters.
  2. A mix of girls and guys.
  3. Male celebrities or fictional male characters but never guys IRL.
  4. Guys or my close male friends.
5. How do you feel about queer female characters, celebrities, or influencers?
  1. I will watch or read anything just for the queer representation.
  2. I can identify with lots of queer female characters or famous lesbians.
  3. I can think of a few queer female characters or celebrities I like.
  4. I don’t feel strongly one way or another.
6. Do you feel romantically attracted to guys?
  1. I'm not at all interested in being in a romantic relationship with a guy.
  2. I think I'm more romantically attracted to girls.
  3. I'm not sure, maybe?
  4. I definitely experience romantic attraction to guys.
7. How does it feel to be physically intimate with a guy (or imagine being intimate)?
  1. I’m not into it, and it’s hard for me to imagine.
  2. I’m fine with it, but I don’t get what all the hype is about.
  3. I know I like guys, but I’d be open to being intimate with a girl.
  4. I’m only physically attracted to guys, so it’s great.
8. How would you feel about kissing a girl?
  1. Who else would I kiss?
  2. I’ve kissed a girl and liked it, or I haven’t done it yet but imagine I’d like it.
  3. I would try kissing a girl but don’t know if I’d be into it.
  4. I’m not interested in kissing girls.
9. Do you have a lot of friends who identify as LGBTQ+?
  1. Yes, pretty much all my friends are queer.
  2. A few of my friends are queer, and I feel really connected to them.
  3. I don’t know a ton of queer people, but I’m drawn to the community.
  4. I think most of my friends are straight.
10. Why did you decide to take this quiz?
  1. I’m pretty sure about my identity but just wanted to check.
  2. I already identify as queer, but I’m not sure if I’m only attracted to women.
  3. I’m starting to wonder if I’m interested in both guys and girls.
  4. I’m taking this just for fun!
11. When you imagine kissing or being intimate with your future partner, how do you feel?
  1. As long as I’m with someone I really like, that sounds great.
  2. Good, I guess?
  3. I can’t imagine that and I don’t think I’ll ever want that, regardless of gender.
  4. I’m too young for that.
12. If a woman flirted and expressed attraction toward you, how would you feel?
  1. I’d feel amazing. How can we make this happen?
  2. I’d be interested and want to get to know her better.
  3. I’d be a little intrigued or at least want to be friends with her.
  4. I’d be flattered, but I’d tell her I’m not into girls.
13. How do you feel after watching or listening to queer media?
  1. Very fulfilled. A part of me feels really seen and validated.
  2. Content. I feel like I identify with aspects of it.
  3. Slightly positive. I don’t necessarily relate to it, but I do enjoy it.
  4. Ambivalent. I don’t feel any connection to queer media.
14. Do you ever dream about getting intimate with another woman?
  1. All the time.
  2. Sometimes, but not exclusively.
  3. No, but I haven't really given it much thought.
  4. Not at all.
15. How would you feel if someone assumed you were a lesbian?
  1. Gratified. That feels like an accurate way to describe me.
  2. Intrigued—I wonder how they came to that conclusion.
  3. Confused. That doesn’t sound like me.
  4. Amused. They clearly don’t know me at all!
16. Pretend that 2 years have passed—how likely are you to be dating someone who’s the same gender as you?
  1. Super likely! I could definitely see that happening.
  2. Fairly likely. I’m certainly open to dating someone of the same gender.
  3. Not that likely, but I’ll see how things go.
  4. Not likely at all—I’m not interested in that sort of relationship.

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lesbian<\/a>\u201d is often used by women who are romantically and\/or physically attracted to other women, but non-binary people identify with the label, too.However, the label \u201clesbian\u201d doesn\u2019t mean you have to look a certain way or act a certain way. You get to decide how you present yourself, define yourself, and you can even change how you identify over time.Ultimately, romantic and sexual attraction exist on a wide spectrum, and no quiz or person can tell you how you should identify. You get to love who you love, feel what you feel, identify how you want, and be affirmed no matter what. If you\u2019re looking for more in-depth resources to aid you in exploring your sexuality, consider joining online communities such as TrevorSpace<\/a>, finding an LGBTQ-friendly therapist<\/a>, or calling an LGBTQ+ hotline.<\/a>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-If-You-Are-a-Lesbian"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Meet-Other-Lesbians"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Determine If You Identify as a Lesbian","id":669301,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-If-You-Are-a-Lesbian","image":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/be\/Know-If-You-Are-a-Lesbian-Step-14-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Know-If-You-Are-a-Lesbian-Step-14-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Determine If You Identify as a Lesbian"},{"title":"How to Meet Other Lesbians","id":63739,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Meet-Other-Lesbians","image":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/98\/Meet-Other-Lesbians-Step-12-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Meet-Other-Lesbians-Step-12-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Meet Other Lesbians"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You could be bisexual, pansexual, or somewhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum.","meaning":"It sounds like you\u2019re interested in girls, but you might also be into guys or people of other genders, too. Attraction and sexuality are a whole spectrum, so you don\u2019t have to identify one specific way or another.As you explore who you are, finding community and developing a support system can help you thrive. You can connect with other queer people through LGBTQ+ centers and organizations at school or in your community. There are even online resources like Q Chat Space<\/a> and TrevorSpace<\/a>, which offer moderated digital community centers and forums.Ultimately, trust your own process, and remember you can reach out to professional counselors and therapists if you need support along the way.Remember that romantic and sexual attraction exist on a wide spectrum, and no quiz or person can tell you how you should identify. You get to love who you love, feel what you feel, identify how you want, and be affirmed no matter what. If you\u2019re looking for more in-depth resources to aid you in exploring your sexuality, consider joining online communities such as TrevorSpace<\/a>, finding an LGBTQ-friendly therapist<\/a>, or calling an LGBTQ+ hotline.<\/a>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-if-You-Are-Gay"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-a-Queer-Relationship-in-High-School"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Know if You Are Gay","id":156542,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-if-You-Are-Gay","image":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2e\/Know-if-You-Are-Gay-Step-15-Version-4.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Know-if-You-Are-Gay-Step-15-Version-4.jpg","alt":"How to Know if You Are Gay"},{"title":"How to Find a Queer Relationship in High School","id":1182008,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-a-Queer-Relationship-in-High-School","image":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/fb\/Find-a-Queer-Relationship-in-High-School-Step-12.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Find-a-Queer-Relationship-in-High-School-Step-12.jpg","alt":"How to Find a Queer Relationship in High School"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You might experience some attraction to women.","meaning":"It looks like you could be in a questioning stage or not quite ready to label your sexuality yet\u2014and you don\u2019t have to. Some people think it\u2019s harder for women to figure out their sexuality because of societal pressures<\/a> to behave a certain way, especially in heteronormative relationships.No matter what you end up deciding, remember it\u2019s just as valid and real to feel attracted to girls as it is to feel attracted to guys or gender non-conforming people. You have the right to identify how you want and love whoever you\u2019d like!Ultimately, romantic and sexual attraction exist on a wide spectrum, and no quiz or person can tell you how you should identify. You get to love who you love, feel what you feel, identify how you want, and be affirmed no matter what. If you\u2019re looking for more in-depth resources to aid you in exploring your sexuality, consider joining online communities such as TrevorSpace<\/a>, finding an LGBTQ-friendly therapist<\/a>, or calling an LGBTQ+ hotline.<\/a>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-if-You-Are-Gay"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Tell-That-Your-Crush-Likes-You-Back"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Know if You Are Gay","id":156542,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Know-if-You-Are-Gay","image":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/2e\/Know-if-You-Are-Gay-Step-15-Version-4.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Know-if-You-Are-Gay-Step-15-Version-4.jpg","alt":"How to Know if You Are Gay"},{"title":"How to Tell That Your Crush Likes You Back","id":382793,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Tell-That-Your-Crush-Likes-You-Back","image":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/99\/Tell-That-Your-Crush-Likes-You-Back-Step-19-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Tell-That-Your-Crush-Likes-You-Back-Step-19-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Tell That Your Crush Likes You Back"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You\u2019re probably straight.","meaning":"Based on your answers, it seems like you\u2019re interested in male-identifying people! Sexual orientation isn\u2019t a conscious choice<\/a> people make, and the most important thing is that you pursue healthy relationships with people who respect and care about you.Ultimately, romantic and sexual attraction exist on a wide spectrum, and no quiz or person can tell you how you should identify. You get to love who you love, feel what you feel, identify how you want, and be affirmed no matter what. If you\u2019re looking for more in-depth resources to aid you in exploring your sexuality, consider joining online communities such as TrevorSpace<\/a>, finding an LGBTQ-friendly therapist<\/a>, or calling an LGBTQ+ hotline.<\/a>","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Tell-That-Your-Crush-Likes-You-Back"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Have a Healthy Relationship","id":911760,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship","image":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/54\/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship-Step-14-Version-5.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Have-a-Healthy-Relationship-Step-14-Version-5.jpg","alt":"How to Have a Healthy Relationship"},{"title":"How to Tell That Your Crush Likes You Back","id":382793,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Tell-That-Your-Crush-Likes-You-Back","image":"\/images\/thumb\/9\/99\/Tell-That-Your-Crush-Likes-You-Back-Step-19-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Tell-That-Your-Crush-Likes-You-Back-Step-19-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Tell That Your Crush Likes You Back"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"You might be asexual (ace) or aromantic (aro).","meaning":"Some people experience little to no romantic desire or sexual attraction to anyone. Asexuality is an umbrella term, which means a lot of identities fall under it. You can identify as ace and experience different levels of sexual attraction and romantic attraction, and that can change over time.Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are different things. The aromantic<\/a> label might sound right to you if you have zero interest in dating or having a partner. People who identify as aro might experience sexual attraction, or they might not. In fact, many people also separate aesthetic attraction (liking the way someone looks or dresses), emotional attraction (being drawn to someone\u2019s personality), romantic attraction (getting those warm fuzzy feelings), and physical attraction (being sexually interested in someone).Ultimately, romantic and sexual attraction exist on a wide spectrum, and no quiz or person can tell you how you should identify. You get to love who you love, feel what you feel, identify how you want, and be affirmed no matter what. 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All About Lesbians & the LGBTQ+ Community

What does the term “lesbian” mean?
The official Stonewall dictionary defines the term “lesbian” as a woman who experiences attraction for other women. Non-binary individuals (who identify outside of the traditional male/female gender binary) can also fall under this umbrella. Lesbian is one of the most common terms in the LGBTQ+ lexicon, along with:

  • Gay: An umbrella term for people who experience attraction to individuals of the same gender identity. While this term is often associated with men specifically, it can apply to anyone who experiences attraction to the same gender.
  • Bisexual: An individual who experiences attraction to the same gender as well as another gender identity (like a woman who’s attracted to both women and men).
  • Transgender: An individual whose gender identity does not align with their assigned sex at birth.
  • Queer: A slang term to describe members of the LGBTQ+ community. This includes individuals who experience some variety of same-gender attraction and/or individuals whose gender identity doesn’t match the sex they were assigned at birth.

Do bisexual and lesbian mean the same thing?
No, the lesbian experience is distinctly different from the bisexual experience. Lesbians are exclusively attracted to women, while bisexual individuals are attracted to more than 1 gender identity. While a bisexual woman and a lesbian can absolutely date, there is no such thing as a “bi lesbian.”

What does the lesbian pride flag look like?
The current lesbian pride flag consists of 7 horizontal stripes in 7 different colors: red-orange, bright orange, light orange, white, fuchsia, light purple, and dark rose. According to the flag’s designer, each stripe carries a specific meaning related to the lesbian community:

  • Red-orange: gender non-conformity
  • Bright orange: independence
  • Light orange: community
  • White: special connection to womanhood
  • Fuchsia: peace and tranquility
  • Light purple: love and sex
  • Dark rose: femininity
  • Note: This iteration tends to be used and referenced more often than the older version of the lesbian flag, which features 7 stripes of different pinks, reds, and white (also known as the “lipstick lesbian” flag). Some community members felt that this flag’s overly feminine theme wasn’t inclusive of all lesbians; because of this, the orange and pink flag has since gained more popularity.

Want to learn more?

There are hundreds of important terms related to sexuality, gender expression, gender identity, and the LGBTQ+ community. For more info, here’s what we recommend:

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