The Ultimate List of Funny Shakespearean Insults

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Plus, create your own insult with our Shakespearean insult generator
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So, you need to insult your enemy. May we offer some advice? Steal a word or two from Shakespeare! Shakespeare is known for his witty comebacks and snarky remarks. We’ve put together a list of Shakespeare’s best insults—you’re sure to find inspiration to win a verbal duel!

Shakespearean Insults Generator

Pick a word from each column to craft a Shakespearean insult. Is your enemy a clay-brained, fool-born ninny? How about a saucy, pigeon-liver'd wag? The possibilities are endless—and your insultee will be left speechless!

Artless (uncontrolled) Milk-livered (cowardly) Lout (stupid person)
Bawdy (filthy, obscene) Currish (mean-spirited) Mammet (doll, puppet)
Beef-witted (brainless) Dissembling (deceitful, hypocritical) Biddy (fowl)
Beetle-headed (thick-headed) Earth-vexing (tormenting) Minnow (insignificant person)
Beslubbering (thick-headed) Pigeon-liver’d (weak) Motley-minded (foolish)
Saucy (insolent, defiant) Fat-kidneyed (gross) Ninny (foolish person)
Boil-brained (hot-headed) Fool-born (coming from an idiot) Caitiff (coward)
Bootless (useless, worthless) Three-inch (small) Clotpole (idiot)
Spleeny (hot-headed) Forward (stubborn) Coxpole (fool)
Churlish (rude) Eight penny (of little value) Cuckold (cheater)
Clay-brained (stupid) Sheep-biting (thieving) Foot-licker (servant)
Surly (uncivil, rude) Gorbellied (pot-bellied) Varlet (rascal, knave)
Cockered (spoiled, pampered) Ill-natured (badly raised) Vassal (servant)
Vain (foolish) Impertinent (rude) Wag (mischievous boy)
Craven (cowardly, spineless) Jolthead (idiot) Whey-face (pale face)
Section 1 of 5:

Insults from Shakespeare’s Tragedies

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  1. Shakespeare’s tragedies are some of his best-known works. From Romeo and Juliet to Hamlet and Julius Caesar , there’s a bit of something for everyone! You’ve got romance, death, family rivalries, and kingdoms on the verge of ruin. But did you know that with these tragedies comes a whole lot of drama and a whole lot more insults? Here are some of our favorites:
    • “What, you egg?” ( Macbeth )
      What did you say, immature child?
    • “He has not so much brain as ear-wax.” ( Troilus and Cressida )
      He is useless.
    • “Away! Thou’rt poison to my blood.” ( Cymbeline )
      Go away! You make me sick.
    • “They have a plentiful lack of wit.” ( Hamlet )
      They are stupid.
    • “Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.” ( King Lear )
      I don’t like you, you ugly leech!
    • “I will bite my thumb at them, which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.” ( Romeo and Juliet )
      I will show them my middle finger.
    • “I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.” ( Timon of Athens )
      I’d hit you, but I’d just get my hands dirty.
    • “More of your conversation would infect my brain.” ( Coriolanus )
      Please stop talking. You’re annoying me.
    • “Thou cream faced loon.” ( Macbeth )
      You’re a coward.
    • “Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.” ( Cymbeline )
      Every word that comes out of your mouth is poison.
    • “I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee.” ( Timon of Athens )
      A dog is better and more lovable than you.
    • “Villain, I have done thy mother.” ( Titus Andronicus )
      Your momma…
    • “They lie deadly that tell you you have good faces.” ( Coriolanus )
      Do you really believe them when they say you’re cute?
    • “You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things.” ( Julius Caesar )
      You’re not smart.
    • “Your abilities are too infant-like for doing much alone.” ( Coriolanus )
      You’re too immature.
    • “Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.” ( Othello )
      You’re fake and everyone knows it.
    • “This kiss is as comfortless as frozen water to a starved snake.” ( Titus Andronicus )
      This kiss makes me feel nothing.
    • “Thou crusty batch of nature!” ( Troilus and Cressida )
      You are awful!
    • “Thou hast no brain than I have in mine elbows.” ( Troilus and Cressida )
      You’re a brainless fool.
    • “She speaks yet she says nothing.” ( Romeo and Juliet)
      What are you even saying?
    • “I am pigeon-liver’d and lack gall.” ( Hamlet )
      I’m a coward without courage.
    • “Thou art the cap of all the fools alive.” ( Timon of Athens )
      You’re the most foolish person on earth.
    • “He has not much brain as earwax.” ( Troilus and Cressida )
      There’s earwax where his brain should be.
    • “They have a plentiful lack of wit.” ( Hamlet )
      They lack intelligence.
    • “Would thous wouldst burst!” ( Timon of Athens )
      I wish you would just die!
    • “Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!” ( Timon of Athens )
      You’re not even worth spitting on.
    • “Young fry of treachery!” ( Macbeth )
      You disloyal child!
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Section 2 of 5:

Insults from Shakespeare’s Comedies

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  1. Back in the 16th century, comedies were all the rage—and not much has changed! Shakespeare’s comedies will make you giggle and kick your feet until you’re absolutely swooning. You may know that cross-dressing, mistaken identity, and miscommunication are some of Shakespeare’s leading comedic tropes, but did you know that good old-fashioned name-calling was also in the mix? Check out some of the best comedic insults:
    • “You cankerblossom.” ( A Midsummer Night’s Dream )
      You destroy things.
    • “The owner of no one good quality.” ( As You Like It )
      There’s nothing good about you.
    • “There’s small voice in rotten apples.” ( The Taming of the Shrew )
      There’s nothing much to choose from here.
    • “Like the toad; ugly and venomous.” ( As You Like It )
      You look ugly.
    • “You have a February nose, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness.” ( Much Ado About Nothing )
      You’re already ugly, and you look terribly angry.
    • “I do desire that we may be better strangers.” ( As You Like It )
      It would be best if we forgot about each other.
    • “Your brain is as dry as the remained biscuit after voyage.” ( As You Like It )
      You are so boring.
    • “You three-inch fool!” ( The Taming of the Shrew )
      You little idiot!
    • “Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate.” ( Measure for Measure )
      I believe you’re a phony.
    • “Tempt not too much the hatred of my spirit, for I am sick when I do look on thee.” ( A Midsummer Night’s Dream )
      Looking at you makes me sick.
    • “The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.” ( The Comedy of Errors )
      He is ugly.
    • “You, minion, are too saucy.” ( The Two Gentlemen of Verona )
      Don’t talk back to me, servant.
    • “Saucy lackey!” ( As You Like It )
      You disrespectful, impudent servant!
    • “You are not worth another word, else I’d call you knave.” ( All’s Well That End’s Well )
      There’s no point in wasting my breath on you.
    • “In civility thou seem’st so empty.” ( As You Like It )
      You have no personality.
    • “I wonder than you will still be talking. Nobody marks you.” ( Much Ado About Nothing )
      Shut up! No one is listening.
    • “Sell when you can; you are not for all markets.” ( As You Like It )
      Take what you can get because not everyone is going to like you.
    • “Froward and unable worms.” ( The Taming of the Shrew )
      Disobedient, incapable morons.
    • “She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs.” ( Two Gentlemen of Verona )
      She’s not smart, and she’s full of flaws.
    • “The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril.” ( The Merry Wives of Windsor )
      The most disgusting smell ever.
    • “Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.” ( Measure for Measure )
      You didn’t make an innocent mistake; you always do terrible things.
    • “A southwest blow on you and blister you all o’er.” ( The Tempest )
      I hope a cold wind tears you apart.
    • “Thou art a general offense.” ( All’s Well That Ends Well )
      You’re a terrible person.
Section 3 of 5:

Insults from Shakespeare’s Histories

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  1. Some of the best insults from Shakespeare’s day came from royals, and Shakespeare did not shy away from that in his plays! Shakespeare’s historically inspired plays, like Henry V and Richard II , are brewing with family tension, scandal, betrayal…and insults. Here are some of the best insults from Shakespeare’s histories:
    • “I’ll tickle your catastrophe.” ( Henry IV Part 2 )
      I’ll kick your butt!
    • “Thou elvish-mark’d, abortive, rooting hog!” ( Richard III )
      You are a hideous elf.
    • “Such antics do not amount to a man.” ( Henry V )
      You’re a clown.
    • “Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.” ( Richard III )
      Please leave. I don’t want to see your hideous face again.
    • “There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.” ( Henry IV )
      I don’t believe what you’re saying.
    • “Thine face is not worth sunburning.” ( Henry V )
      Stay inside. No one wants to see you.
    • “You are as a candle, the better burnt out.” ( Henry IV )
      You look tired and worn out.
    • “Thou art unfit for any place but hell.” ( Richard III )
      You belong in hell.
    • “Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat.” ( Henry V )
      You are a pig.
    • “Away you mouldy rogue, away!” ( Henry IV )
      Bye bye!
    • “His wit’s as thick as a Tewkesbury mustard.” ( Henry IV Part 2 )
      He’s as dumb as a box of rocks.
    • “Prick thy face, and over-red thy fear.” ( Henry V )
      You are a coward.
    • “Thou art a very ragged wart.” ( Henry IV )
      You’re a wart.
    • “This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh!” ( 1 Henry IV )
      Coward.
    • “A knot you are of damned bloodsuckers.” ( Richard III )
      You wicked, evil people.
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Section 4 of 5:

More Insulting Shakespearean Words & Phrases

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  1. Can’t find a time and place to shoot a full insulting Shakespearean quote at someone? No worries! Try dropping one or more of these insulting words and phrases into a modern-day jab for a little extra sting: [1]
    • Artless ( uncontrolled )
    • Bawdy ( filthy, obscene )
    • Beef-witted ( brainless ) [2]
    • Beetle-headed ( thick-headed )
    • Beslubbering ( thick-headed )
    • Biddy ( fowl )
    • Boil-brained ( hot-headed )
    • Bootless ( useless, worthless )
    • Caitiff ( coward )
    • Churlish ( rude )
    • Clay-brained ( stupid )
    • Clotpole ( idiot )
    • Cockered ( spoiled, pampered )
    • Coxpole ( fool )
    • Craven ( cowardly, spineless )
    • Cuckold ( cheater )
    • Currish ( mean-spirited )
    • Dissembling ( deceitful, hypocritical )
    • Earth-vexing ( tormenting )
    • Eight penny ( of little value )
    • Fat-kidneyed ( gross )
    • Fool-born ( coming from an idiot )
    • Foot-licker ( servant )
    • Forward ( stubborn )
    • Fustilarian ( smelly old woman )
    • Giglet ( playful girl )
    • Gorbellied ( pot-bellied )
    • Ill-natured ( badly raised )
    • Impertinent ( rude )
    • Jolthead ( idiot )
    • Lout ( stupid person )
    • Mammet ( doll, puppet )
    • Milk-livered ( cowardly )
    • Minnow ( insignificant )
    • Motley-minded ( foolish )
    • Ninny ( foolish person )
    • Saucy ( insolent, defiant )
    • Sheep-biting ( thieving )
    • Spleeny ( hot-headed )
    • Surly ( uncivil, rude )
    • Vain ( foolish )
    • Varlet ( rascal, knave )
    • Vassal ( servant )
    • Wag ( mischievous boy )
    • Whey-face ( pale face )
Section 5 of 5:

Shakespearean Words We Still Use Today

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  1. Many of the words and phrases you use today originated from Shakespeare’s time! While the slang and insults in the 16th century may seem a bit absurd, there are still many we use today. Some pronunciations may have changed, but the words still hold similar meanings. Take a look at these words and phrases we have Shakespeare to thank for: [3]
    • Addiction
    • Arch-villain
    • Bandit
    • Bedroom
    • Cold-blooded
    • Dauntless
    • Embrace
    • Employer
    • Excitement
    • Fashionable
    • Generous
    • Gossip
    • Informal
    • Invitation
    • Lonely
    • Majestic
    • Manager
    • Ode
    • Rant
    • Satisfying
    • Swagger
    • Useful
    • Zany
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.capgeox.org/uploads/1/3/1/9/131934518/shakespeare_insults_translation_pdf.pdf
      2. ↑ https://www.librarieshawaii.org/learn/brain-games/bardly-barbs/
      3. ↑ https://www.mondly.com/blog/words-shakespeare-invented/

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