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Telling your parents that you're moving out may seem like a difficult task. There's the potential for a lot of hurt feelings. If approach the topic carefully however, you can make the whole process easier on everybody.
Steps
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Think things through. Your parents are going to have a lot of concerns about you leaving and will ask a ton of questions. Here are some things you’ll want to consider that will definitely be on their minds: [1] X Research source
- They might think that you’re not ready to live on your own.
- Your parents may feel sad about you leaving because they will miss you.
- They might think you should wait until you are married or until you can buy a house.
- They can be concerned about your future roommates.
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Choose a sensible location. Whether you’re planning to move close to home or far away, your parents will still want to know all about it.
- Don't settle on the first place you find. Shop around and make sure that you find the best place for you and take your parents with you so they feel more included in the whole process.
- It may be a nice place on the inside, but learn what you can about the neighborhood, too. You'll be glad you did.
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Find out everything you can about your roommates. If you are going to have a roommate, is it someone they’ve met? [2] X Research source
- If not, schedule an introduction to alleviate the stress that you may be living with a stranger.
- Make sure you know enough about your roommate's lifestyle and financial situation to be able to judge whether there is a good fit between you.
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Be certain your finances are in order. Moving can be very expensive, but don’t just think about the move. Your parents will want to know how you plan to support yourself over time. Be sure you’ve thought this through. [3] X Research source
- Make sure you have a steady source of income
- Most places will require you to pay first and last month's rent, plus a deposit, upon moving in, so be sure to save up.
- Movers can be expensive, and so can renting a van. It's always handy if you can get friends to help, but make sure you do something nice in return.
- You have to make sure all of your utilities get turned on right away. This also costs money and may require deposits as well.
- Don't forget about the little things. All the small household items that you may have taken for granted won't just be there waiting for you. The little things add up!
EXPERT TIPDr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Clinical PsychologistMoving out takes thoughtful planning and preparedness. Approach the conversation with care and input from loved ones who know your situation. Ensure you have the maturity and financial stability for this transition. Weigh the pros and cons of independence before taking this big step. With wisdom and emotional readiness, you’ll be set up for success.
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Plan for transportation in your new home. You need to be able to get around on your own. Do you have a car or a bike, or will you be taking public transportation?
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Think about the lifestyle you plan to have. Above all else, your parents will want you to be healthy and happy. It may sound trivial, but consider things like diet, cleanliness, hygiene and personal wellness.
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Pick a good moment. When you’ve done the legwork and believe that you’re ready to tell your parents that you're moving out, pick a moment when you’ll be able to have a full discussion about it. [4] X Research source
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Stay firm. In the event that they push back, stand by your decision. Let them know that the time has come for you to move on. But to avoid turning it into an argument, try to: [5] X Research source
- Be open and honest about your motivations to move out.
- Speak clearly and confidently about your plans. This will not only make the conversation easier, but it will further demonstrate how much you’ve thought about the situation.
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Consider their feelings. Even though they may accept the fact that it’s time for you to move on, they’ll be sad to see you go. Demonstrate that you’ve been thinking about them, too. [6] X Research source
- Tell them that you love them.
- Promise that you’ll be in touch as often as you can. [7] X Research source
- Assure them that you won’t forget about birthdays, family events, special occasions, etc.
- Thank them for everything they've done for you.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat can I do if I can't decide if I really want to move out?Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.Consider putting your thoughts and desires into writing. Create a list and take the time to review and modify it as needed. Above all, avoid making hasty decisions. Ensure that you are emotionally prepared and financially equipped for such a significant step. There's nothing wrong with staying at home until you feel ready to transition into your own place. Given the current uncertainties in markets and the economy, it's advisable to assess the situation carefully. My best advice is to weigh the pros and cons. Consider what makes the most sense for your life, taking into account both the benefits and disadvantages. It's a crucial decision, and thoughtful consideration will help you make the best choice for your circumstances.
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QuestionI'm afraid to talk to my parents, what should I do?Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.Initiating a conversation with your parents about moving out can be challenging. You may be apprehensive about potentially hurting your parents' feelings or leaving them with a sense of abandonment. It's important to remember that, just like you, your parents had to navigate the transition into adulthood. Seeking guidance from other family members who are familiar with your parents can be helpful. Solicit their opinions on how to approach this specific topic.
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QuestionHow can I talk to my parents about moving out?Drew Hawkins1Community AnswerOne of the biggest factors is timing. Choosing the right time to talk to them can make a huge difference. If you're ready to make your move, wait until they're free to have an actual conversation about it. After dinner in the evening or right when they get home from work may be a good moment. If you can't seem to catch them at a good time, try telling them that you need to talk to them about something. Ask them when they have a moment to talk to you. They may be able to set aside some time so you can talk to them about how you feel and what your plans are.
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Tips
- Start saving money early, and make it a habit.Thanks
- Eating out all the time can get very expensive. You can often save money by making sure you stock enough groceries to prepare your own meals.Thanks
- Always be honest to your parents no matter what. If you do the opposite they, may not trust you later if you need them!Thanks
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Warnings
- Bills can pile up. Make sure you stay on top of your finances so that you don't miss payments or get penalized on any accounts.Thanks
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Things You May Need
- Seeing as how this is your first apartment, you may need a co-signer on the lease. Typically this will either be your parents or your roommates parents.
- A steady job or reliable source of income.
- A car or other method of transportation.
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about human behavior, check out our in-depth interview with Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS .
References
- ↑ https://www.movers.com/moving-guides/how-to-tell-your-parents-you-are-moving-out.html
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/moving-out-of-home-tips-for-young-people
- ↑ https://www.getbellhops.com/blog/move-out-parents-house/
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html?WT.ac=ctg#catbest-self
- ↑ https://www.movers.com/moving-guides/how-to-tell-your-parents-you-are-moving-out.html
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talk-to-parents.html?WT.ac=ctg#catbest-self
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/moving-out-of-home-tips-for-young-people
About This Article
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Reader Success Stories
- "It's the fourth step that stood out to me as I'm currently doing my final year in high school, and I want to move out this year December. I am eighteen and can't stand having my family tell me painful words, treat me unfairly and most importantly, hurt me." ..." more
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"It's the fourth step that stood out to me as I'm currently doing my final year in high school, and I want to move out this year December. I am eighteen and can't stand having my family tell me painful words, treat me unfairly and most importantly, hurt me."
..."
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"I like how it gave me a warning on how bills will pile up, etc. That's the stuff we all need to know. Not to sugar coat it."
..."
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"The warnings were so helpful. I'm a little less stressed to tell them now that I know how to prepare myself. Thank you!"
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"What helped me was to be honest with your parents and say clearly and confidently about your plan."
