How to Be More Selfless in Your Daily Life

PDF download Download Article
Plus, learn what being selfless really means & how it benefits you
PDF download Download Article

Selflessness. You’ve likely heard the term, but what does it mean, and how can you achieve it? To be selfless, you must put other people’s needs above your own, but without neglecting yourself. Practicing selflessness can improve your everyday life and relationships, making you a happier and brighter person. In this article, we’ll teach you how to be selfless (with plenty of examples of selfless acts to inspire you).

Easy Ways to Practice Selflessness

  1. Do a random act of kindness each day.
  2. Volunteer your time when you can.
  3. Support charities through monetary or used donations if you’re able.
  4. Be patient and empathetic.
  5. Practice active listening.
Section 1 of 4:

What does it mean to be selfless?

PDF download Download Article
  1. Being selfless means caring for others ahead of yourself. A selfless person cares more for what other people need than what they need. [1] This may mean they spend their free time volunteering at an animal shelter, go to a friend’s favorite restaurant instead of their own, or watch a neighbor’s dog. Someone who’s selfless doesn’t expect anything in return. They simply do kind things because it makes them feel good.
    • Selfishness , on the other hand, is the quality of thinking only of yourself or your own advantage. [2]
    • Studies show that those who are selfless are authentically happy for longer periods of time when compared to those who are more self-centered. [3]
    • While selflessness is an absence of selfishness, it doesn’t mean a selfless person is never selfish . Sometimes, you need to be a bit selfish to have a strong emotional balance and sense of self-worth. [4]
    2. Advertisement
Section 2 of 4:

How to Be a Selfless Person

PDF download Download Article
  1. Try to help one person each day. It could be with something big or small, as long as you make the commitment. Maybe you let someone in a rush go ahead of you in line, maybe you give money to a homeless person, or maybe you lend a hand on a project to a stressed coworker. Every little thing you do helps make the world a better place. [5]
    • It’s okay if the opportunity to help someone doesn’t come up every day. Just make the commitment to help if the situation does come up.
  2. Volunteering is a great way to practice generosity and contribute to the world. There are probably tons of local organizations that you can volunteer with—just ask around! Dedicate a few hours on the weekends to give back to your community. [6]
    • Popular volunteer work includes handing out food in a soup kitchen, helping clean up local parks, caring for animals at a shelter, and helping organize town events.
    • If you want to do bigger volunteer projects, you could also join an organization like the Peace Corps .
  3. Giving up frivolous or unnecessary things, like a streaming subscription you never use, to help others is a selfless quality. If you're able to, find some charities that you'd like to support and set up a regular donation to them. Your support will help them keep doing their great work. [7]
    • It's okay to skip giving money if you're not financially secure. You could also donate used clothing or decor items to charities.
    EXPERT TIP

    Direct Relief

    Humanitarian Aid Organization
    Direct Relief is an award-winning humanitarian aid organization, active in all 50 states and more than 80 countries. They focus on helping people affected by emergencies and natural disasters. Direct Relief has been highly rated by Charity Navigator, GuideStar, and the Center for High Impact Philanthropy at University of Pennsylvania, for their effectiveness, efficiency, and transparency.
    Direct Relief
    Humanitarian Aid Organization

    Any person can make a difference. Donating money or time is a great way to help someone in need. Every small act can make a difference.

  4. The people in your everyday life could probably use a helping hand! If someone asks you for help, do all you can to make that happen. Going out of your way to support those you love is a beautifully selfless act. Plus, it can also improve your mental health by reducing stress and promoting self-confidence. [8]
    • Keep an eye out for little opportunities to help. For instance, if your neighbor is carrying something heavy, offer to lend a hand.
    • Remember that it’s okay to say no if helping someone will put undue strain on you. Don’t run yourself ragged! [9]
  5. Empathy or understanding other people’s emotions is a selfless quality. You can’t expect everyone to do everything you’d like all the time. So, practice being patient and understand that you may not know someone’s whole story. This can help put the world into perspective and help you be a kinder person. [10]
    • Being patient doesn't mean you can't communicate your needs to others. It just means understanding that you can't always have instant gratification.
  6. Good, active listening is key to understanding people’s needs. If someone starts opening up to you, let them do it without interrupting. Put away all distractions and give them your undivided attention. Being generous with your time like this shows others that you’re the kind of person they can come to with problems. [11]
    • Social worker Sabrina Grover recommends not thinking about what you’re going to say while listening to others. Take in everything they have to say, and then think of your response. [12]
    • Try to avoid offering advice unless someone asks for it.
  7. You’ll be more motivated to help people if you can empathize with them. Try to identify with the people around you and understand where they’re coming from. This is a great way to see people as individuals and get rid of any preconceived notions you may have had. [13]
    • Imagine if you were living someone else’s life. How would you feel, react, and respond in certain situations?
    • Volunteer work is a good way to see how other people live. You can really broaden your horizons this way.
  8. Believing you can never be wrong is a selfish quality. To be less selfish, clinical psychologist Julia Yacoob advises to avoid acting like you know all the answers. Accept that other people might have the correct answers, and if you are wrong, own it and admit it . [14]
    • Admitting a mistake is never easy, but know that it can make you stronger and improve your relationships. Think of it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
  9. Be willing to take a step back and let others enjoy their accomplishments without trying to focus attention on yourself. In other words, support other people’s goals and achievements. [15] Not only does this show kindness, compassion, and humility, but it’s an easy, selfless act to do. [16]
    • For instance, if a coworker received a promotion before you, still make time to congratulate and celebrate them. Know that your time to shine will come.
  10. A selfless person doesn’t expect anything in return—they’re simply nice because they can be! Do kind acts without needing a favor in return. Know that the ease you give someone else is better than any physical reward. [17]
    • Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean you should continue giving all your effort to people who don’t appreciate it or take advantage of you, as this can lead to resentment. [18]
  11. Being selfless doesn’t mean neglecting yourself or your health. Make sure to schedule time to take care of you. Practice self-care , engage in your hobbies, and take time to rest. After all, you can’t fill other people’s glasses if yours is empty. [19]
    • Think of your “me time” as a time to recharge. The more energy you have, the more selfless you can be!
    EXPERT TIP

    Kamal Ravikant

    Author, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It
    Kamal Ravikant is a bestselling author, podcast host, speaker, and Venture Capitalist. His book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It was a bestseller in the USA. He's had diverse experiences in his life, including meditating with monks in the Himalayas, serving as a US Army Infantry soldier, and cofounding several companies and a Venture Capital firm in Silicon Valley. He is passionate about sharing the common thread through all of these experiences: the importance of loving yourself.
    Kamal Ravikant
    Author, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It

    Loving yourself is more than taking a bubble bath. Loving yourself is about accepting yourself inside and out and living a life that reflects that love. So, don't live life as a victim. Live your life as your own hero.

    12. Advertisement
Section 3 of 4:

Examples of Selfless Acts

PDF download Download Article
  1. A small act of kindness can make a big impact on your life and someone else’s. Being selfless doesn’t need to be a grand show—it can be as simple as holding a door for a stranger. [20] Take a look at these examples of selfless acts and see how many you can do: [21]
    • Letting someone go in front of you in line
    • Holding a door for a stranger
    • Calling a friend you haven’t talked to in a while
    • Sending flowers to a relative
    • Offering to pick up groceries for a neighbor
    • Walking a friend’s dog
    • Going on a walk with a friend
    • Offering to cook a loved one a meal
    • Helping an injured loved one with chores
    • Listening to someone’s troubles
    • Offering to pick up a friend from work
    • Driving a friend to the airport
    • Surprising someone with a cake for their birthday
    • Letting a driver merge into your lane
    • Returning a lost item to its owner
    • Paying for someone’s meal or coffee
Section 4 of 4:

Why is it important to be selfless?

PDF download Download Article
  1. Being selfless can positively impact your emotional well-being. While being selfless benefits those around you, it can also greatly affect how you feel about yourself and the world around you. Selflessness can help: [22]
    • Reduce stress and anxiety.
    • Improve your mood.
    • Create a sense of belonging.
    • Reduce feelings of isolation.
    • Keep things in perspective.
    • Improve your relationships.
    2. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    What is considered a selfless act?
    Julia Yacoob, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Julia Yacoob is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in New York City. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for adults coping with a variety of symptoms and life stressors. Dr. Yacoob earned an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Rutgers University, and pursued specialized training at Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian Hospital, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Institute for Behavior Therapy, and Bellevue Hospital Cancer Center. Dr. Yacoob is a member of the American Psychological Association, Women’s Mental Health Consortium, NYC Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association, and Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies.
    Julia Yacoob, PhD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    A selfless act is done out of the goodness of someone's heart—they aren't expecting acknowledgment or appreciation for what they've done, nor are they expecting to get something in return.
    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
    Yes No
    Not Helpful 4 Helpful 40
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Video

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Stop Being Selfish
      160+ Good Roasts to Burn Your Friends & Family Members
      135 Happy Sunday Wishes for Friends, Partners, & More
      110+ Funny Insulting Names for Friends & Loved Ones
      How to
      Roast People: Finding Joke Ideas, Crafting Punchlines & More
      160+ Best Roasts to Say to Guys (& Bruise Their Ego)
      How to
      Get Revenge on Anyone
      How to
      Find Your DoppelgÓ“nger (or Twin)
      100 Simple & Sincere Ways to Say "Thank You for Your Hospitality"
      Controversial Hot Takes and Prompts to Create Spicy Debates
      How to
      Find Out Where Someone Lives
      200+ Favorite Things Questions to Ask
      50+ Ways to Wish Someone a Bright Future & Good Luck
      How to
      Compliment a Girl's Eyes
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/selfless
      2. ↑ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/selfishness
      3. ↑ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5429736/
      4. ↑ https://attunedpsychology.com/why-we-need-to-be-selfish-to-be-selfless/
      5. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/dedehenley/2019/10/25/yes-you-can-be-both-selfless-and-competitive/?sh=54f53a577166
      6. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/healthy-living/volunteering-and-its-surprising-benefits.htm
      7. ↑ https://www.powerofpositivity.com/7-ways-to-be-selfless-in-a-selfish-world/
      8. ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/podcasts/kindness-matters-our-mental-health
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-makes-hero/201307/selflessness-or-self-sabotage-0
      1. ↑ https://www.powerofpositivity.com/7-ways-to-be-selfless-in-a-selfish-world/
      2. ↑ https://hbr.org/2021/12/how-to-become-a-better-listener
      3. ↑ Sabrina Grover, LMSW. Licensed Master Social Worker. Expert Interview. 3 December 2021.
      4. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1
      5. ↑ Julia Yacoob, PhD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.
      6. ↑ https://www.rwjbh.org/blog/2024/april/february-2024-the-importance-of-being-selfless/
      7. ↑ https://www.asaporg.com/leadership/how-to-be-humble-10-pro-tips-from-asap
      8. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/dedehenley/2019/10/25/yes-you-can-be-both-selfless-and-competitive/?sh=54f53a577166
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-makes-hero/201307/selflessness-or-self-sabotage-0
      10. ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_you_be_too_selfless_in_your_relationships
      11. ↑ https://www.rwjbh.org/blog/2024/april/february-2024-the-importance-of-being-selfless/
      12. ↑ https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/kindness-and-mental-health/random-acts-kindness
      13. ↑ https://www.rwjbh.org/blog/2024/april/february-2024-the-importance-of-being-selfless/

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 288,240 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • William Yorker

        Jun 4, 2017

        "Great info. This helped me let go of feeling guilty for needing to recharge. Being helpful towards others uses up ..." more
        Rated this article:
      More reader stories Hide reader stories
      Share your story

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement