How do I rizz up a girl I just met?
I keep seeing this beautiful girl at a cafe I study at, and I really want to talk to her. But I feel so awkward. What do I do? How do I get her to notice me?
Great question. The first thing to do is to always go back to step one, which is your own mindset and way of being. For you to approach her in the right way, you need to love and accept yourself. You need to enjoy being you and get to a place where you are open and curious about new people and things.
That’s the first part. Because, if you're feeling insecure, she will know. So it’s really about accepting yourself, even though you feel awkward, or you're not perfect, or anything else.
From there, just be open and friendly. Make eye contact and smile. For example, I was at a coffee shop, sitting outside on a nice sunny day, and there was someone sitting next to me. And she looked over at me and smiled. So I gave a wave and said, “Hey, how's your day?”, and that little thing started an entire easy conversation.
It all happened because she and I were both open, and we could have a conversation. I also didn't want or need anything from her, and she could sense that, which meant she could get comfortable around me.
Whether you're sitting down or walking down the street, just make friendly, confident eye contact with someone who seems attractive to you. And then you can simply smile and wave. If that person is in the same space and mindset, they'll usually do the same back. And if they're not, maybe they're not interested, or maybe their energy level isn’t the same as yours at the moment. Don't try to force anything. Just remain open and create opportunities for connection.
That’s the first part. Because, if you're feeling insecure, she will know. So it’s really about accepting yourself, even though you feel awkward, or you're not perfect, or anything else.
From there, just be open and friendly. Make eye contact and smile. For example, I was at a coffee shop, sitting outside on a nice sunny day, and there was someone sitting next to me. And she looked over at me and smiled. So I gave a wave and said, “Hey, how's your day?”, and that little thing started an entire easy conversation.
It all happened because she and I were both open, and we could have a conversation. I also didn't want or need anything from her, and she could sense that, which meant she could get comfortable around me.
Whether you're sitting down or walking down the street, just make friendly, confident eye contact with someone who seems attractive to you. And then you can simply smile and wave. If that person is in the same space and mindset, they'll usually do the same back. And if they're not, maybe they're not interested, or maybe their energy level isn’t the same as yours at the moment. Don't try to force anything. Just remain open and create opportunities for connection.
Fully agree on the eye contact thing. Makes it so much easier to break the ice and then you’re already halfway to starting a conversation. If someone doesn’t smile back, I don’t even bother trying to approach them.
I like to think about a few topics to talk about before I approach, just so there isn't any awkward silence. I have a rule of three, I like to use: one thing about me, one thing about her, and one thing about the environment around us. I think it’s easiest to start with the last one. Like, you can start up a conversation about how busy the cafe is and joke about how hard it is to study when handsome strangers keep coming up to say hi ;)
I think the easiest way to talk to someone you like is to find a common person that you know and have them introduce you. But it sounds like you don't have that option in this case. Instead, social commentary on the environment that you're in can be a really easy way to break the ice when you're meeting someone new.
Truthfully, you're just looking to open a conversation and gauge interest. Start with a simple observation about the cafe you’re in, and go from there.
Truthfully, you're just looking to open a conversation and gauge interest. Start with a simple observation about the cafe you’re in, and go from there.
The most important part is to just overcome your own fear. Remember that it’s no big deal. She’s just a person. And the really cool thing is that, even though it doesn't feel like it in the moment, you're risking very little to potentially gain a lot.
So what if she rejects you? You'll feel embarrassed for a little, and then you'll get on with your day. No big deal.
But what if she likes you? What if you ask her out and she says yes? What if you two end up getting married and spending your whole lives together? It’s beyond worth it to risk a bit of temporary rejection to get the chance at building an incredible relationship. Remind yourself of this, take a deep breath, then just go talk to her!
So what if she rejects you? You'll feel embarrassed for a little, and then you'll get on with your day. No big deal.
But what if she likes you? What if you ask her out and she says yes? What if you two end up getting married and spending your whole lives together? It’s beyond worth it to risk a bit of temporary rejection to get the chance at building an incredible relationship. Remind yourself of this, take a deep breath, then just go talk to her!
What do other wikiHow readers have to say?
Other wikiHow readers have submitted their own tips on topics similar to this one.
Reader Tips from How to Ask a Girl Out
Don’t be afraid to show off your unique personality. Being yourself is the best way to attract someone!
If you’re trying to get to know this girl, try asking her open-ended questions.
If you’re asking a girl out in person, make sure to brush your teeth and wear clean clothes so that you look and smell good.
Reader Tips from How to Ask Out a Girl at School
Some girls will notice that you like them, and some won't. If you feel like she doesn't know, then smile or wave at her when you walk by. Try not to look at her all the time, she'll think you're creepy! Just be yourself and wait a while. She might ask you out after a while.
Plan a date activity you know she’s interested in. If she’s a fan of superhero movies, invite her to see the newest one. When you’re planning, write down what you want to say to her and what day you want to approach her to ask.
Take a breath mint before asking your crush on a date.
Reader Tips from How to Ask a Girl out on a Date
The most important thing you can do is to simply be confident and straightforward when asking her out
If a girl seems busy or in a rush, it isn't an appropriate time to ask her on a date.
If the girl says no, that is not a sign to keep pushing. Do not continue to go after her, this will freak her out and make her feel pressured.
Trending Discussions
What do I wear on a first date?
Going on my first date in a long time and want to look good. What do guys like women ...
Read More
How do you become a private chef?
I've always dreamed of pursuing a career as a private chef and have decided to give i...
Read More
Is there a way to get deleted messages back on iPhone?
I accidentally deleted some messages on my iPhone and would really like to have them ...
Read More
