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Can you really be friends with your ex?

For a complete guide to this topic, read the wikiHow article Can You Be Friends with Your Ex? How to Decide if You Should .

WikiBandicootDancer458

01/04/25 9:08am

So my ex gf recently hit me up (we broke up 3 months ago) and we got drinks just as friends, and it was nice...but I'm wondering if it's really possible to be just friends with an ex? I'm not going to pretend there weren't still some lingering feelings, but will those fade over time? Anyone successfully stay friends with an ex? If so how?

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Kate Dreyfus
Holistic Love Coach & Intuitive Healer

01/05/25 11:12am

To establish a friendship after a breakup, it is important that both parties are on the same page for it to be a successful, healthy friendship.

First and foremost, how the relationship ended and how the breakup is executed will determine the likelihood of establishing a friendship afterward. It is important to allow both parties to properly heal and gain closure after a breakup or else friendship boundaries and feelings can get blurry, which can negatively affect the success of a friendship.

If both parties are interested in establishing a friendship, then it is essential to create clear expectations of each other in these new roles in each other’s lives. It is also important to create boundaries, especially with what is okay and not okay. For example, not sharing what is going on in each other’s romantic lives until both parties are comfortable with it.

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WikiLemurDiver240

01/05/25 6:24pm

It depends on the relationship and it depends on the ex. If you can answer yes to these questions I'd say you have a good shot at staying friends with your ex:
- Did you part on good terms?
- Do you communicate effectively?
- Can you respect each other's boundaries?
- Do you still enjoy each other's company, even in a purely platonic context?
- Are you able to spend time with each other without dwelling on the past?

But if you answer yes to these questions, it might be best to part ways:
- Can you see yourself slipping into sexual or romantic behaviors with them?
- Do they treat you or your boundaries with disrespect?
- Do they exhibit any toxic or abusive behaviors?
- Do they bring out the worst version of you?

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WikiWombatReader897

01/07/25 1:36pm

Man, I thought that I could be friends with my ex. And things were going pretty well until he got a new girlfriend, and then I got SO jealous. I'm not saying this to be like "no you can't be friends with your ex," I'm more trying to say that if you want to be friends with your ex, you can definitely give it your best shot. But know that it can be hard to predict how you'll feel in certain situations, like if he gets with someone new.

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WikiGiraffeLeaper849

01/10/25 8:48am

It hurt too much to stay friends with my ex. Staying friends with her prolonged my healing process. It's like she was right there but just out of my grasp. Having been in a relationship with her, I craved that intimacy and vulnerability that we used to have. Having a more superficial friendship just wasn't doing it for me. I had to go no contact with her. I'm feeling better now and hope that one day we may be able to be friends again. She is a lovely person I just miss what we used to have so much...Do what you need to do to heal.

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