What exactly does "casual relationship" mean?

02/20/25 2:19am

I hear people define their relationships as "casual" and see people on apps say they're looking for something "casual" and it sounds in theory like something I could get behind, but I'm not sure I totally understand what the word means and it seems to me like some people define it very differently: as friends with benefits, situationships, etc. So, what does a "casual relationship" mean to you? How do you have a successful casual relationship?

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wikiHow Editorial Team

02/20/25 8:38am

The exact definition of "casual relationship" will vary from person to person and relationship to relationship, but generally speaking, a casual relationship is one in which neither partner is seriously committed to the other. You may be exclusive or you may not be, but in any case, you're not "together," and neither of you should expect to become a committed couple.

Situationships and friends-with-benefits relationships can fall under the umbrella of "casual relationships." There's typically more communication and rules in a friends-with-benefits relationship. On the other hand, expectations aren't totally clear in a situationship, and you may not know where you stand with your situationship partner.

The best way to have a successful casual relationship is to know what to expect from your partner upfront and to check in with each other every so often to make sure things are going OK and neither of you is developing feelings or getting uncomfortable with the dynamic in any way.

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Elvina Lui, MFT
Marriage & Family Therapist

02/20/25 2:34pm

Regardless of how you define the terms, the important thing is to be open and honest about what you want to get out of a relationship; the tricky thing is sometimes you yourself might not be sure what you want. You might start out thinking you wanted something casual, but as time went by, your feelings could have grown stronger, and you changed to want a long-term relationship.

While it is a risk, it is healthier to be open about what you're looking for in a relationship rather than hiding your feelings and needs. It is common that people choose to hide their feelings because they want to avoid conflict and rejection at all costs, but doing this sabotages your chances at happiness, whether you're looking for a more serious relationship or want to keep it casual.

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Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor

02/25/25 11:53pm

I think it depends on the person! Some people put “I’m looking for a casual relationship” because they’re worried about scaring someone else off by adding they’re looking for “something serious. “ Dating can leave us feeling insecure, very vulnerable and often times we try to protect ourselves against rejection. Others are just looking for perhaps a hook up. If you find someone online who mentions a “casual relationship”, ask them! The only way to find out more details is by getting them to clarify. Best of luck.

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Anonymous wikiAnteater

02/21/25 10:04am

yeah def don't get involved with someone casually with the hope that theyll eventually come around and want to be with you in a committed way, that road lies only heartbreak (speakin from personal experience). on the other hand, i been in casual relationships with dudes that ended after a year or two and we are still very good friends!! it's definately possible to do

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