What should I text a girl I like
Hey there everyone! I’m just going to cut right to the chase: I suck at talking to girls over text. I feel like I’m pretty good at chatting IRL where I can read the other person’s body language and tone, but over text I’ve been told I’m staler than an old breadstick. I’m just not good at texting. I just got the number of a girl I think I’m into but I really don’t want to drop the ball when I hit her up. Give me your best topics, convo starters, or lines!
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My biggest tip is to be illogical and fun. I always say that the main purpose of texting initially is just to set up a date or phone call.
What a lot of people do is they try to get to know people through text immediately, which kind of sounds like what you’re doing. That just makes it more difficult for you to really develop a stronger, deeper relationship or connection because a lot of things can get misconstrued over text. You don't understand the person's kind of tone, their jokes are harder to read over text, and it’s too easy to say something that accidentally offends the other person.
So, when you say something like, “Hey, how are you?” and then they say, “Fine” you’ve just sort of killed the conversation. What I'll usually do is say something like, “I just saw a group of kids help the old lady across the street and it reminded me of brighter days!” Just mix it up. Keep her on her toes, be a little random, and use texting as a way to set up a date. Don’t treat texting like a goal on its own!
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What a lot of people do is they try to get to know people through text immediately, which kind of sounds like what you’re doing. That just makes it more difficult for you to really develop a stronger, deeper relationship or connection because a lot of things can get misconstrued over text. You don't understand the person's kind of tone, their jokes are harder to read over text, and it’s too easy to say something that accidentally offends the other person.
So, when you say something like, “Hey, how are you?” and then they say, “Fine” you’ve just sort of killed the conversation. What I'll usually do is say something like, “I just saw a group of kids help the old lady across the street and it reminded me of brighter days!” Just mix it up. Keep her on her toes, be a little random, and use texting as a way to set up a date. Don’t treat texting like a goal on its own!
Reader Comments
Just like with in person conversations, the key to having text conversations is being genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. Practice "active listening" (or reading in this case haha) by reading over her texts a couple times and responding thoughtfully to what she says.
Ask her about herself and her likes and dislikes. Pay attention to what she says so you can ask follow-up questions or reference things she's told you later. So, say you met in a bar and played a round of pool. When you text her, say something like, "I had a great time with you last night! How'd you get so good at pool?"
If she mentioned what she does for work, say, "How'd you get into that field?"
You can also just ask her basic questions like, "What's one move you could watch over and over?" "What are you listening to these days?" "What's your idea of a perfect date?" "What's the best thing that happened to you today?"
After she shares about herself, if you have related experiences or facts about yourself to share, then do! But avoid having your conversation become an interview. Don't just rapid fire ask her questions. Let the conversation flow naturally.
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Ask her about herself and her likes and dislikes. Pay attention to what she says so you can ask follow-up questions or reference things she's told you later. So, say you met in a bar and played a round of pool. When you text her, say something like, "I had a great time with you last night! How'd you get so good at pool?"
If she mentioned what she does for work, say, "How'd you get into that field?"
You can also just ask her basic questions like, "What's one move you could watch over and over?" "What are you listening to these days?" "What's your idea of a perfect date?" "What's the best thing that happened to you today?"
After she shares about herself, if you have related experiences or facts about yourself to share, then do! But avoid having your conversation become an interview. Don't just rapid fire ask her questions. Let the conversation flow naturally.
text her things that make you think of her! i think she'll appreciate that she's on your mind. be careful about how you do this if you don't know each other too well though. it can come across as creepy if you go overboard.
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Here are some questions you could ask if the conversation is lagging:
- How's your day going so far?
- Are you a dog person or a cat person?
- What's your favorite way to spend a Sunday?
- What's your pet peeve?
- Do you have a go-to karaoke song?
- Are you close with your family?
- What was your first impression of me?
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
- What's your favorite restaurant?
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- How's your day going so far?
- Are you a dog person or a cat person?
- What's your favorite way to spend a Sunday?
- What's your pet peeve?
- Do you have a go-to karaoke song?
- Are you close with your family?
- What was your first impression of me?
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
- What's your favorite restaurant?
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It can be hard to get tone across over text so I'd err on the side of making your texts sound as nice as you can! Take the time to use a few extra words because short texts can be misconstrued. Don't use periods. Use emojis (where it feels appropriate, and don't be excessive). Use casual language, slang, abbreviations, etc. Mirror her texting style
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