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Working with a cute guy? If you want to get him to notice you exist, learn the right way to flirt and start a budding attraction. You can learn to start conversations and build a little attraction into something more.
Steps
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Start saying hello. Sometimes the best way to get someone to notice you is to make them. Try going up and talking to him and making your interest obvious. You don't have to have a full-on conversation at first, but just start making contact. Every time you see him, say hello, and introduce yourself if necessary.
- Remember that you're on the clock, so look for an appropriate time to talk or have a chat if you're going to have a longer conversation.
- Smiling and "checking out" this guy can also help to get the message across. You don't have to be lewd, but if you're interested in a little flirting you can make it clear.
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Say his name when you talk. Everyone likes to hear their own name spoken aloud in conversation. Using someone's name a few times while you're talking is a good way to show that you're interested in the person, not just in what they're saying. Using someone's name shows that you care and want to dig deeper.
- Don't overdo it. Every sentence doesn't need to end with his first name.
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Talk about things other than work. It can be hard to strike up work conversations sometimes, because it's the one thing you're positive you've got in common. If you want to get a guy to notice you, though, it's a good idea to try to figure out some subject that you can both talk about, completely outside the world of your job. This can bring coworkers really close together and can be a great way to make a friend.
- Look for clues. If your coworker is wearing a shirt from a band you like, or drives a car that you've always had an eye on, that is a perfect opportunity to strike up some conversation. Comment by saying, 'Wow! Great shirt. I saw them at such and such festival last year" or "I'm so jealous! That's my dream car."
- Reader Poll:
We asked 884 wikiHow readers
who’ve had a crush on a coworker, and only 8%
thought it was a good idea to confide in a trusted coworker or mentor for support.
[Take Poll]
- So, according to our readers, you should probably keep your crush to yourself for now. Instead, try to learn more about him as friends and keep the conversation going. That way, you can determine whether or not you might be compatible outside of work.
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Be inquisitive. Want to find out what you have in common with this guy? Ask. The easiest way to get someone to open up is by putting the ball in their court and asking them questions to get to know them better. If you like this guy, show an honest interest in his life and find out more about him by asking.
- "What's your favorite thing to do on the weekends?"
- "Where did you work before this?"
- "Where are you from originally?"
- "Where do you go to school?"
- "Who's your favorite Beatle?"
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Compliment him. Compliments are another great way to strike up conversation. It can be as simple as liking the color of their shoes or noticing that they got a haircut. People, not matter who they are talking to, love a sincere compliment.
- You can also comment on something that they are wearing, music they are listening to, the car they drive, or anything else.
- Just make sure it's sincere. Over-doing it on the compliments can make you seen inauthentic and fake.
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Be yourself. It may be a cliché, but that's because it works. The more you try to be someone you think that person will notice, the less confident you will be. If you try to guess what you think he may or may not like, you are relying entirely on his approval for you to be "good enough." You don't have to be someone you're not.
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Give it time. You don't need to attract this guy in the first couple hours of the day. Remember that you're going to be seeing a lot of each other, probably every day, and you can give this budding flirtatious relationship plenty of time to develop. You've got time on your side.
- Some guys won't take the hint at first, either. At work, some guys are pretty focused on doing their work. Likewise, some guys might not be into side conversations at work, and might seem uninterested. This doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't like you, just that he's trying to focus on his work so he can finish for the day and go home.
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Make sure this person is not already in a relationship. You may think it's exciting to be the work fling, but this almost never works out for you in the long run, and can cause a lot of pain and frustration. Starting a relationship with cheating makes it difficult. Not to mention that you would be working hard for nothing, if they are happily taken.
- It's also important to make sure it would be appropriate to flirt with this guy. Both superiors and subordinate employees can cause conflicts if you attempt to start a flirtatious relationship. Even coworkers can get a little awkward if things go sour.
- If you don't know, just ask. "Do you have a partner?" isn't an awkward question. It's the kind of thing people talk about at work.
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Dress in ways that make you feel comfortable. Your most attractive traits are always emphasized by confidence. You don't need to look any particular way at work to attract a certain guy, and it's important to focus on your own comfort and style. Always keep in mind the dress code at your job and keep it professional.
- Emphasize your natural beauty. Instead of trying to fit a mold you think this guy would like, amp up the goods that you already have. Looking nice will definitely help. If you have your own style, flaunt it in a tasteful way. You want to catch his eye, but a major turn-off is being explicit. It's a fine line.
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Touch his arm. A little physical contact can be instant and electric, increasing intimacy and making you closer. [1] X Expert Source John Keegan
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019. If you want to increase the attraction between you and a coworker, finding an excuse to touch a little can be a great way to pull him in. Just touch his shoulder when he makes a joke, or give him a hug when you're leaving for the day.- Remember you are in the work place, so keep it PG. There is little wrong with a brush of the arm or a touch of the shoulder, but keep anything else for after work.
- If he's not into it, don't go grabbing someone. Only reach out if you get a positive vibe back. Never approach someone unsolicited.
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Try to find a way to work together on something. Offer to help him with something that is not necessarily in your job title. This can be a great way to show that you are a nice and caring person, and is also an excuse to spend more time with him. In the same sense, you can ask him to help you with something as well.
- Never use your position to manipulate things, or promote someone who doesn't deserve it. This will hurt your credibility in the workplace.
- Make sure you stay focused on your work as well. Don't work together if it's going to affect your productivity.
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Talk one-on-one at after work events. The best time to get to know someone at work? After work. Typically, you'll only get a little bit of time during breaks to make jokes, or will only have a few chances to actually work together. Most of the time you'll just be working. If you want to get to know someone a little better and get him to notice you, do it after work.
- Invite a group of people to get a drink after work, or to grab a bite to eat somewhere. Invite this guy specifically, and get a chance to talk.
- If you have work-related holiday parties, or other after-work functions, see if you can ride together, or just make a point of hanging out at those parties.
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Find out about your employer's code of conduct. At some workplaces, it's not appropriate to date coworkers. [2] X Expert Source John Keegan
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019. If it is permitted, it's often required that your relationship be declared to the HR department, so the two of you will be separated for the most part while you work.- If your relationship would be controversial or problematic at work, you've got the option of deciding to go forward with it anyway and avoid telling anyone. This can be very difficult to actually pull off nowadays, especially with Facebook and other social media. It's always better to come clean and deal with the consequences. [3] X Research source
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Decide whether or not you'll tell your coworkers. Even if your relationship is permitted, it can be awkward for your coworkers to know that you're in a relationship with someone else that you work with. If you want to let your coworkers know, it's a good idea to tell them as soon as possible after you've started seeing someone at work.
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Keep it professional. When you're at work, focus on your work. When you have time off, then you can spend your time dating this guy. Make sure you don't spend time at work sneaking into the broom closet, and your relationship will be better for it. Don't let your relationship or your job suffer because of this relationship.
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Don't bring your work home with you. It can be tough to be in a relationship with someone you work with, because you've got no time apart. You see each other in the evenings, and during the day at work. Make a point of spending some of your time apart, devoting plenty of time to your individual friends, instead of spending all your time together. [4] X Research source
- Seeing each other at work and taking a lunch break at the same time doesn't constitute a "date." It's important to make time for each other outside the world of work.
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Talk about what will happen if you break up. [5] X Expert Source John Keegan
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019. One of the most awkward things that can happen is to go through a break-up with someone that you'll have to continue seeing every day at work. If you try to date someone at work, talk about what will happen when and if you do decide to break up. Would one of you switch jobs? Would you be able to keep things civil? Have an honest and open conversation. Talk about it like the professionals you are.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I get a guy's attention at work?John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.Say hello when you see them at work so you start feeling comfortable talking to them. As you hold more conversations, make playful comments and make eye contact with them to show that you're interested.
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Tips
- Give nicknames, don't go overboard if your just friends but call him hun, or silly. This will make him maybe like you more.Thanks
- Making eye contact is very important, Let him look into your soul.Thanks
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Warnings
- Don't get obsessive, if you do you're just pushing him away.Thanks
- If you try to be outgoing don't nag his ear off, this will make him like you less.Thanks
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References
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/127_dating_advice.html
- ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/3039389/ask-the-experts-help-im-dating-a-coworker
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
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