How to Play Hard to Get

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

The best way to play hard to get is to be hard to get. You’re wonderful and you deserve someone special. Give your crush space by spending some time apart from your phone and let your crush be the first one to make major moves. Balance this out by giving your crush hints of attention, so they don’t think you don’t like them. Keep yourself busy with hobbies, self-care, and dating other people if you feel comfortable. Boost your confidence by spending time with friends and family who love you. You’ll feel great and get your crush’s attention in no time.

1

Spend time doing the things you love.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1c\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-6-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1c\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-6-Version-2.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-6-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Rather than sitting around all day wishing your crush would text you, you will look like a much happier, less-desperate person, because you will be. [1]
    • Plan to see friends or family most days of the week. The more fulfilling, loving friendships you have in your life, the less desperate you will be for romantic connection, so that you can pursue it at a more patient pace.
    2. Advertisement
2

Cultivate your hobbies.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/cb\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-7-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-7-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/cb\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-7-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-7-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    For example, if you love to draw, block out time every week to practice drawing. Working on your hobbies is not only personally fulfilling, but it makes you a much more interesting dating-prospect. [2]
    • Working on hobbies will also give you something to think about besides your crush, which can be very therapeutic if you’re quite love-struck.
3

Get at least 30 minutes of exercise every day.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/2\/24\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-8-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-8-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/2\/24\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-8-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-8-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    It also boosts your physical and mental health, and can make you feel more confident in your body. [3]
    • Exercise is a great stress-reliever. Next time you’re feeling heartbroken about a date-gone-wrong, try hitting the gym instead of watching TV. You might be surprised at what a difference it makes!
    2. Advertisement
4

Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/58\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-9.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-9.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/58\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-9.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-9.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    It’s also much easier to look attractive when you are feeling radiant and well-rested. To get enough sleep, go to bed at about the same time every night, and make sure to unwind before bed with about 1 hour of no electronics. [4]
    • Getting enough sleep is a simple form of self-love. Think of it as a gift you can give yourself every night, a reminder that you care about yourself. The more you practice self-love, the more you’ll realize that you are worthy of love from other people.
5

Leave your phone on silent or at home.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/b\/be\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-1-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-1-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/b\/be\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-1-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-1-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    It’s agonizing trying to figure out how long to wait before you text your crush back. If you text too soon, the theory is, you’ll look too needy––not a good look when you’re playing hard to get. [5] But it’s really hard to resist texting back when your crush texts. To resist that temptation, leave your phone on silent, so that you don’t hear it buzz.
    • Better yet, leave your phone at home when you go out with your friends, or turn it off when you’re about to watch a movie, or go to the gym. Maybe you’ll come back and see that your crush has texted, in which case you can text them back, without having to force yourself to wait.
    2. Advertisement
6

Ask your crush to hang out in a casual way.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/1\/1e\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-2-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/1e\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-2-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    If you’ve had feelings for your friend for a while, it can be hard to work up the courage to ask them out. When you do, don’t spill all your feelings at once, saying, “I’m in love with you, are you in love with me?” Chances are, they didn’t think about you that way yet, which would really shut down the conversation. [6]
    • Instead, say, “Want to go out for dinner this week?” You don’t have to explicitly say the word “date.” You can wait for them to do that, maybe after a few “hang-outs.”
    • Same goes for asking out somebody you’ve been admiring from afar. Try to avoid saying, “I’ve been crushing on you for the past year,” and instead say, “Hey, do you want to go see the new Spiderman movie this weekend?” This takes the pressure off.
7

Let your crush be the first one to go for the kiss.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c7\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-3-Version-5.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-3-Version-5.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c7\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-3-Version-5.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-3-Version-5.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Make it clear that you’re into your crush physically, by flirting, “accidentally” brushing against them, and touching your lips while you talk. Even if you’re dying to kiss your crush, let them think it’s actually their idea.
    • If they’re really not getting the idea, you can go in for a hug. They’ll probably take the hint.
    2. Advertisement
8

Tell your crush you want to see them after the first date.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f1\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-4-Version-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-4-Version-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f1\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-4-Version-4.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-4-Version-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    After your first date, if you really want to see the person again, be clear. [7] Text them, “I had a really good time last night. Let me know if you want to do this again!” That makes it clear that you want to hang out again, but it avoids saying, “I didn’t sleep at all last night I was so excited thinking about our future wedding,” which (though it might be true), would probably freak out your crush. [8]
    • You don’t want to pretend not to like your crush, because they might give up entirely. Instead, playing hard to get is about giving them hints, without giving yourself entirely away.
9

Let your partner be the first one to say “I love you.”

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e5\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-5-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-5-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e5\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-5-Version-3.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-5-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You can hint at your feelings, by saying things like, “I really like you,” or “I love spending time with you,” or “I’m crazy about you,” but let your partner be the first one to say the big three words. [9]
    • This will make you feel absolutely confident that they mean it, and then you can reciprocate. Once they actually say, “I love you,” don’t hold out on them to play hard to get. That’s too mean! If you love them too, say it.
    2. Advertisement
10

Focus on the reasons why you’re a great catch.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c5\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-10.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-10.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c5\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-10.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-10.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    You are a wonderful, unique person, who deserves a partner who will be a good fit for your personality, who will be kind to you, and who you’re attracted to physically and emotionally. [10]
    • Instead of going into a date thinking, “will they like me?” think, “will I like them?” Assume that they’re going to like you, because you’re wonderful. Now it’s just up to you to decide if they’re worth your time. This mindset can make dating feel like a fun shopping trip for a good match, instead of a stressful exam. [11]
11

Date other people besides your crush.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/5\/51\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-11.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-11.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/5\/51\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-11.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-11.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Who knows, you might find someone you like better than your current crush! It also gives your crush the chance to see that other people like you, and it gives you practice in going on dates, so that they don’t feel scary. [12]
    • If you’re really in love with your crush, and don’t want to date anybody else, then make lots of plans with your friends and family. Your crush will see that you’re a person who a lot of people love.
    2. Advertisement
12

Have a love-note party with your friends.

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f6\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-12.jpg\/v4-460px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-12.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f6\/Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-12.jpg\/v4-728px-Play-Hard-to-Get-Step-12.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>\u00a9 2024 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This image is <b>not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.<br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    It’s a great way to shower some love on your friends, and at the end of it you’ll have a stack of notes about all the ways you are wonderful. You can read these whenever you’re feeling down and need reminders about how special and loved you are. [13]
    • Another great option is to look back at your old high-school yearbook or old birthday cards, and read all the kind things people have written about you. Other people can often see your true beauty more easily than you can.


Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Avoid Being an Obsessive Girlfriend
      How to
      Make a Guy Jealous
      How to
      Be Mysterious
      How to
      Flirt
      How to
      Avoid Coming Across As Needy
      How to
      Get a Girlfriend
      How to
      Turn a Girl on With Words
      How to Select and Meet an Escort
      How to
      Ask a Girl Out
      How to
      Get a Boyfriend
      How to
      Look Attractive (Guys)
      How to
      Get a Girl to Like You when She Has No Interest in Relationships
      How to
      Give a Guy an Answer when He Asks You Out
      How to
      Find Rich Men
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-play-hard-get
      2. ↑ https://www.bolde.com/shouldnt-just-play-hard-get-hard-get/
      3. ↑ https://www.genesisfitness.com.au/blog/9-benefits-30-mins-exercise-day
      4. ↑ https://www.inc.com/julian-hayes-ii/the-8-hours-of-sleep-rule-is-a-myth-heres-what-you-should-do-instead.html
      5. ↑ https://womenosophy.com/mistakes-avoid-texting-crush
      6. ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/how-to-ask-your-friend-out.html
      7. ↑ Louie Felix. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
      8. ↑ https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/dating-advice/text-after-a-first-date/
      9. ↑ https://www.myenglishteacher.eu/blog/ways-to-say-i-love-you/
      1. ↑ https://www.bolde.com/shouldnt-just-play-hard-get-hard-get/
      2. ↑ https://www.meetmindful.com/boost-dating-confidence/
      3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/how-and-why-play-hard-get
      4. ↑ https://www.bolde.com/shouldnt-just-play-hard-get-hard-get/

      About This Article

      In other languages
      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 2,061,273 times.

      Reader Success Stories

      • Salli

        Jan 28, 2022

        "I now realise I did a huge mistake, expressing my feeling to a guy. After that he ghosted me! That made me really ..." more
      More reader stories Hide reader stories
      Share your story

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement