Q&A for How to Be Friends After a Bad Breakup

Research shows that the pain of a break-up usually fades over the course of 6 months to 2 years.

Mourning the loss of a relationship can feel much like grieving someone who has passed away. There are various stages of separation - from shock, denial, depression, anger, bargaining, relapse and acceptance. Healing from a heartbreak is not one linear line. After a heartbreak your body is in a state of shock. The person that you were used to talking to, cuddling with, bickering with, having sex with - is no longer there. The loss will feel lonely and scary, and on a scientific standpoint, you’re no longer getting your doses of dopamine and oxytocin (feel-good chemicals) from your partner. While on a logical level, your mind tells you it’s over, your body is craving the chemical fix and this is what causes the urge to get back together, contact the ex, stalk your ex’s social media or text them.

A bad breakup is one where one of both people involved feels a lot of hurt or resentment. Perhaps the breakup happened after a major argument, or there was a major betrayal of trust involved (such as infidelity).

Unfortunately, there is a good chance that your girlfriend won't be willing to give the relationship another chance. It is ultimately up to her to decide. The best thing you can do is sincerely apologize to her and take responsibility for your actions. Explain what you plan to do differently in the future so that the same thing doesn't happen again. You might need to talk about setting ground rules so that she'll feel more secure going forward, like regularly checking in with her when you're out with friends.

In a healthy friendship, both of you should be able to have other friends. Try to accept that your ex has other people in her life who are important to her. Focus on building your own friendships outside of your relationship with her, so that your life feels more balanced.