Q&A for How to Be a Butch Lesbian

Sure. There is no one way to be "butch," and there are different types of butch lesbians. Be true to yourself, and don't worry too much about fitting into a stereotype.

Heck yeah, you can! There are a lot of butch emos/ goths/ punks and other butches that embrace alternative sub cultures.

You can speak to your head teacher or principal about the school's hair policy. It may be written down in the student handbook, which you can also reference. This way, you can be sure that you know what is allowed according to the policies that your school has outlined.

Absolutely. Just because you have long hair does not mean that you will end up being girlish. Instead, consider focusing on the way you act, dress, talk, and carry yourself.

Tell your parents that you want to get a "pixie cut." This is a very short hairstyle similar to a boy's, but it's a bit more "girly." Look up pictures of pixie cuts and show them. This way they'll think you're doing it as a fashion statement, not to look more masculine.

Try going to bars and clubs, or even the more strictly gay varieties of them. If you see a cutie that you like, offer to buy her a drink, or strike up a conversation.

Yes. Where I live flannel is pretty much the "lesbian" clothing. You could try braiding the hair on the sides of your head, or you could pat it down with hairspray.

Just make sure to embrace it, and if anyone asks, don't feel bad about yourself. Tell them no matter what they think.

As for getting made fun of, you may or may not get some rude comments, but just keep your chin high and report any harassment to an adult in a position of authority. The dress code is all up to your school, so you would need to ask at your school for a copy of the code and read through it, perhaps with your mom's help.

Yes, anyone can cry. It is healthy to express your emotions.

You can be whatever you want to be, I am naturally a "butch" lesbian, but I didn't change my style to conform to anything. Just be yourself and do what you want to do with how you dress/act/look. Most people fall somewhere in between "butch" and "lipstick," these are just stereotypes.

You can try sports bras or binders to make them less-obvious.

Of course you can. Butch is about attitude and appearance, not height.

Yes, a butch lesbian can still dress in whichever way she wants.

Yes. It's a very common look. You could just shave the sides and back of your head, and leave some hair in the middle that you style, in either a true mohawk or faux mohawk style.

You do you. The different orientations were created as an easy way to define or explain your sexuality, but you don't need a specific label. Go with what you feel. Based on your question, you could simply identify yourself like you said: "I'm pansexual, but I lean more toward girls."

The term 'butch' usually refers to a type of lesbian. However, girls with the same boyish/androgynous characteristics can sometimes be straight, bisexual, etc.

You can wear whatever you want, and do not have to conform to anyone's expectations.

Wear whatever you want. Just be pleasant and respectful to everyone and you won't have a problem.

Of course you can. Just in the same way that straight men can dress feminine if they so wish. If you're a straight girl and you want to dress butch, you'll totally rock it.

There's no way to know someone's sexuality for certain without asking them, so it's best to just strike up a conversation and see if you can find a way to slyly figure out what kind of person she's interested in.

No. Lesbians do not wear their earrings in a specific way, no matter what you may have heard. There are no "secret signals" that someone is gay. If you want to know, just ask them.

Of course you can. Being butch is more about having a traditionally masculine attitude anyway. It doesn't matter if you're bisexual, or even if you're quite feminine, you can still identify as butch.

Of course! You can be whatever you like.

You can dress masculine and avoid makeup. When you're seeing you girlfriend, try tucking your hair into a hat.

Yes! You could leave it down or put it into a ponytail/bun.

Not at all. You are who you are, and if that happens to fit a stereotype, that's fine. You're still a unique individual.

Do you like flowers? If you want to wear a badass leather jacket and put a little flower pin on it, do it! If you want to get a tattoo of a flower and/or a skull, why not? You can be a soft butch.

Of course! You do not have to define yourself as one or the other. Many people feel like styling themselves a little differently from one day to the next.

Dress smooth and neat (but still masculine). Don't wear skirts or dresses or anything else too femme. Shirts can be collared with any pattern or color, or form-fitting T-shirts, sunglasses, and long sweatpants that aren't too loose or baggy, like the ones with thin stripes on the sides. Accessories can include pinky rings, watches, and small jewelry like a single necklace. Shoes can be anything that's not too girly.