Q&A for How to Deal With Finding out Somebody You Love Is Gay

His life may be a little harder, but things are getting better all the time. Don't say anything to him (or his parents) about your own worries or feelings about his sexuality. Ask him in private if he's told his parents, and if he hasn't, offer to help him tell them. If he's not ready to tell them, that's okay. Just let him know you support him no matter.

Say, "I was surprised by the news, and I'm sorry if you were hurt by anything I said. I'm trying to get over some personal hang-ups, and that's not your fault." This shows them that you care about them and want to accept them, and makes it clear that any of your personal issues are not a reflection on them. Look for resources like GLAAD and PFLAG to help you come to terms with this new information. Remember, your loved one told you this because they trusted you, and hoped for unconditional acceptance and love. Communicate that you love them and don't judge them, even if you're having struggles on a personal level.

No, because he may not know it yet, or he might not be ready to leave the closet. Let him come out to you on his own terms (if he really is gay). If you want him to know that it's okay to talk to you, it can help to casually mention an LGBT-related topic and voice an accepting opinion, such as "I think it's silly that they won't let trans kids use the restrooms they want" or "I hope they pass that bill to prevent discrimination against same-gender couples that want to adopt." This suggests that you're an ally and a safe person to tell, if (and only if!) the gay person is ready.

You could say, "Hey, I just heard you came out, just wanted you to know you have my support."