Q&A for How to Make Someone Feel Good About Bad Grades

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  • Question
    What do you comfort someone who is struggling in school?
    Ashley Pritchard, MA
    School Counselor
    Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.
    School Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Getting bad grades can be a difficult and upsetting thing. Remind the person that their grades are not the end of the world. At the same time, it's important to recognize that bad grades can be a motivational tool. Encourage them to talk to their teachers about their grades and get help so they can do a better job in the future!
  • Question
    I just got a super bad grade on a test, and both my parents are very strict. How can I give them the bad news, without them flipping out?
    Community Answer
    Set aside a time when they aren't busy or distracted and just tell them. Everyone gets a bad grade once a while. Explain what happened (you didn't understand the material, didn't study hard enough, etc.) and tell them you will try harder next time. They will be mad for a little but they will get over it, they are your parents after all.
  • Question
    My friend failed a test while I passed with good marks, she is really upset and I am unable to console her because she feels that I cannot understand her situation. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Give her some space. She's jealous that you did well and she didn't, and there's not much you can say that will make her feel better. Once she's gotten over it, offer to help her study for the next test.
  • Question
    My friend is very talented but, because of bad time management, he didn't get a good score. How can I console him?
    Community Answer
    You can console your friend by reminding him of other things he's good at--maybe sports or another academic subject. Offer him some a listening ear to talk about his frustration or disappointment. If you have good time management skills, you may be able to offer some tips to help your friend improve in this area, also.
  • Question
    My girlfriend got a bad test result on her IELTS test, how do I console her?
    Community Answer
    Tests can wreck even someone with high confidence. Be there for her and explain to her that she is more than any one test. The grade on the test does not define who she is as a person. Failure can often send a person in a new and different direction, or it can be a motivator to work harder and achieve more at the next opportunity.
  • Question
    I have a friend who doesn't care about school/grades, and I'm worried for his future. What should I say to him to get him to start caring? He's capable of getting high marks, just doesn't care.
    Community Answer
    If grades aren't a priority to him, there's nothing you can say or do to make him change his mind. You can mention your concern to him, but if you'd done so already, don't belabor the point. His future is his own responsibility to worry about; you have your own future to plan and prepare for.
  • Question
    How can I make a friend who has not talked to me for a few years feel good about his 12th standard grades?
    Melanie Sanchez
    Community Answer
    First try to get back into the groove of talking to him more often again. Be sympathetic, and with a little bit of your comfort and positivity all will turn out well.
  • Question
    My friend developed walking pneumonia, so she had to stay out for a couple of days. When she took her English exam, she failed because she wasn't there to learn the material. What could she do?
    Community Answer
    Talk to her teacher about re-taking the test due to her excused illness.
  • Question
    How can I help my friends feel better?
    Community Answer
    Ask if they want help. If they refuse, just highlight the things about them that you like.
  • Question
    My friend is shy, she lacks confidence and courage to do almost anything. This has resulted in her getting bad grades, and she says she's tired of people not thinking she's smart. How can I help her?
    Community Answer
    Maybe you could help your friend with her schoolwork? Tutor her in subjects you are good at, or ask someone else you know to help her (maybe she'll make a new friend!). Encourage your friend to speak up in class, meet new people, and socialize as much as possible. It's hard, but it's important for shy people to step out of their comfort zones. Introduce her to people she doesn't know well and go out of your way to include her in conversations.
  • Question
    How do I express reassurances when my friend did poorly on his exam?
    Community Answer
    You can help him find his mistakes, invite him over to help him, or see if the teacher will allow a study session and retake of the quiz.
  • Question
    Some of my friends don't care about their grades. How can I help them?
    Community Answer
    You can sit with them and tell them that if they get good grades, they will have a better chance at getting into a good college, then getting a good job, making lots of money, and having a good life. Tell them that it's not "cool" to pretend to be dumb or like you don't care about anything, and that they'll regret it later if they don't start paying attention in school now.
  • Question
    My friend is always studying and you can see that they understand but then every time they write a test, it seems they panic, so I don't know how to help them?
    Lrb
    Community Answer
    Some people have test-taking anxiety. You can help by doing deep breathing with them before the test starts, and encourage them by saying they know the information and they understand it too, so to just slowly think through the questions and answer as if they were trying to help you. Also, changing the study method may be useful here. Note-taking is fine, but if comprehension is hard, then have your friend verbalize the lesson step-by-step during study time. This works wonders for those who get afraid of "messing up" because it teaches their brain to relax and be casual about it.
  • Question
    What do I do if my parents won't let me sleep inside or eat dinner with the rest of the family because I failed my Earth & Environmental Science exam? It's getting cold!
    Lrb
    Community Answer
    Tell your teacher and principal what's going on. If this is serious, your parents are committing abuse and you need to protect your body. No bad grade is worth the punishment of withholding food or shelter. Please talk to your science teacher about what's going on and ask for help! Bad grades are not a big deal in real life, but it's not okay to be treated this way. Go tell an adult at your school that you trust, go to the principal.
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