Q&A for How to Make a Relationship Work

You can strengthen your relationship with your girlfriend by being more expressive. Tell her how you feel; compliment her; and ask her what she would like to do when making date plans. Be sure to use her name when addressing her--this can help as it fosters greater intimacy. Also, listen to her... what is she saying or asking for? Follow-up on any of her interests or problems previously mentioned.

Relationships require a fair amount of effort. They don't just purr along forever on their own! Think of a relationship like owning a car...you do oil changes, routine maintenance, etc. Make sure you are setting aside enough quality time to talk and just have fun. Make sure your relationship is not only all about practical stuff--like cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. There needs to be a balance. And don't give up at the first bump in the road.

Think about what the problems are in your relationship in your family... do they say you don't hang around enough? Or do they say that you don't communicate enough? Try to take small steps to correct the problem areas. For example, hang around for breakfast or dinner more often. Ask about the other family members' day and share something about yours...don't remain a mystery.

Long distance relationships have their own challenge, and usually require greater than average communication. Next time to you together (or even before you arrive) let him know that you would like to sit down down and talk. Use a lot of the skills described in this article. Make sure you start with what is working well in the relationship, but also identify this problem of his constant phone usage. But first, think through if it is really that bad, and if it is constant. If so, try to come up with some joint guidelines so you both feel good about the situation.