Q&A for How to Manage Friendship when in a Relationship

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  • Question
    How can you have friends of the opposite gender while you're in a relationship?
    Leah Morris
    Life Coach
    Leah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts.
    Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Talk to your partner about the relationship you have with your friend of the opposite gender. Discuss the importance of that to your partner, while also hearing from their perspective how they might be feeling about things. While it won't always be feasible to do, see if you can include your partner in some of the activities you and your friend do (just be sure that you maintain proper boundaries).
  • Question
    I am in relationship with a girl, and I have a strong feelings for her, but I'm very jealous if she is receives calls from guys. Sometimes she will invite to see her at the salon, but she has refused to show me her new apartment. Could she be seeing someone else?
    Community Answer
    It's possible. The best thing to do would be to sit down with her face-to-face and calmly discuss your concerns about trust. Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and if you can't work with her to find a way to trust her, you'll have to move on.
  • Question
    I'm married and have befriended my male boss at work. How do I strengthen the friendship without giving him the wrong idea?
    Community Answer
    Start by making sure that your friend knows you're married. Mention your husband whenever possible in conversation; you can even turn the conversation towards marriage and relationship to have an excuse to mention him. On the other side, inform your husband of your friendship with your male boss. Be very open about who he is, how you met, etc. so he doesn't feel like you're trying to hide anything from him.
  • Question
    My boyfriend tells me that I don't make him happy and that I am too quiet. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    If he feels that way, you aren't meant for each other. Find another guy who appreciates you.
  • Question
    I get jealous when my boyfriend and I hang around my girlfriends because I've had bad experiences. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    If your boyfriend has cheated on your with one of your girlfriends, you should break up with him. If one of your girlfriends cheated with a different boyfriend you had, you should not be their friend anymore. If no one in your current group has done anything wrong, you should relax and just have fun.
  • Question
    What can I do if I try to manage my time between my boyfriend and friends equally while in my relationship, but it doesn't seem to be enough?
    Community Answer
    It's natural not to spend as much time with your friends when a boyfriend enters the picture. You should remind your friend that you care a lot about them, and you should ask them what they might do in your situation. In addition, try to set aside times specifically for your friends to continue making them a part of your life.
  • Question
    My boyfriend tends to be flirtatious. He recently made friends with a female who calls and texts him at different times of day (and has an issue if he doesn't answer). Am I wrong for having a problem with this?
    Community Answer
    Tell your boyfriend it's okay to be friends with another girl, but not to be flirty. If you're uncomfortable with the relationship, he needs to be aware of that and concerned to set your mind at ease.
  • Question
    My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We hardly spend time with each other, and when we do, his friends are involved, even though he sees them every weekend. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    You could try talking to him about having more alone time. If he insists on friends being around all the time, maybe, and I know it maybe be hard to think about, he is not the right one for you. But the key takeaway here is communication. Make sure you talk to him and discuss the changes you would like to see in your limited time with each other. That should be done before abrupt decision making.
  • Question
    Are there any limits between guys and female friends? My girlfriend says I am crossing limits, they are my childhood friends and I respect them. My girlfriend takes it the wrong way. Any help?
    Caitlin Parry
    Community Answer
    Respect your girlfriend's opinions about what is right and wrong, that is a given. However, that doesn't mean that she should believe that you are untrustworthy when it comes to your female friends unless you have given her a reason to be in the past. Try hanging out with those female friends and her at the same time, while showing her that she is your girlfriend and they are just friends (hold her hand, pay a lot of attention to her, etc.). You definitely shouldn't need to end these friendships, but you should try to be understanding of where your girlfriend is coming from.
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