Q&A for How to Tell if Another Woman is Bisexual

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  • Question
    Can I assume that someone with a rainbow pride pin is bisexual?
    Marissa Floro, PhD
    Counseling Psychologist
    Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
    Counseling Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    They may not necessarily be bisexual, but it's probably reasonable to assume that they may be LGBTQ+. They could just be a cisgender and heterosexual ally, but it's not a crazy assumption to make.
  • Question
    Why are some women not more open about being bisexual?
    Marissa Floro, PhD
    Counseling Psychologist
    Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
    Counseling Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    There is a lot of cruelty and bigotry out there towards people who are LGBTQ+. As a result, the people in these communities often play things close to the chest so to speak, since it's a way of protecting yourself from the intolerant people in the world.
  • Question
    It's really hard to figure out if I'm talking to another bi person. How can I get better at this?
    Marissa Floro, PhD
    Counseling Psychologist
    Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
    Counseling Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Your intuition is going to improve with this over time. It can be hard at first, but as you keep meeting more and more people, you'll naturally start getting better at picking up on the hints people drop.
  • Question
    I have a close friend and I think she already knows that I'm bisexual, she compliments me and touches me, and she tried to kiss me once. Does that mean she likes me?
    Community Answer
    Unless she acts the same way with absolutely everybody, yes, she likes you.
  • Question
    What should I do if a woman is avoiding me after we kissed?
    Community Answer
    Give her some time, she may be feeling confused. If it's been a few days and she isn't speaking to you, try approaching her and saying "I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable the other night," or something like that and she'll probably give you an explanation for her behavior.
  • Question
    What should I say to a girl I like if I've never actually had a girlfriend?
    Community Answer
    Try bringing up LGBT topics and see how she responds. If she responds positively, try flirting with her.
  • Question
    I started becoming friends with this girl and when I came out to her she didn't take me seriously and thought I was joking. I haven't talked to her since, should I still be friends with her?
    Community Answer
    Give her another chance, come out again and tell her something like, "I'm being completely serious." Tell her you don't think there's anything funny about being bisexual so you're not sure why she would think it was a joke. If she's rude to you about it, find another friend.
  • Question
    I want to tell this girl I'm bisexual, but I'm scared she might be homophobic and insult me. How can I tell if she's not?
    Community Answer
    Ask what she thinks about homosexuality. If she says something rude, then that's a sign she might insult you.
  • Question
    My best friend is always looking at me, finding reasons to touch me, and telling me dirty jokes. Are these signs?
    Community Answer
    It could be, but it could also just be how she behaves with a BFF. If you're interested, try flirting with her more directly or intimately and see what happens.
  • Question
    I want to kiss my best friend. How do I tell her that I want to kiss her?
    Community Answer
    Tell her that you like her as more than a friend if you want a relationship with her. Or you can just ask her if she would mind you kissing her. Make sure not to ask in a joking way as she may not understand you are serious. Don't ask her around other people as that could be intimidating.
  • Question
    I told my female friend (who is bi) that I was bi too, but she doesn't know that I have a crush on her. Before that, she was very touchy, but now she stopped touching/hugging me. What does that mean?
    Community Answer
    This could go two different ways. She could have stopped touching you because she likes you and is trying to be subtle. On the other hand, she might be afraid that you will get a crush on her and it will ruin the friendship. The only way to know for sure is to talk to her about your feelings.
  • Question
    There is this girl who looks at me 3-4 times a day but she doesn't act like she's bisexual, does she like me?
    Community Answer
    It's hard to say. Maybe she looks at everybody, or maybe she just wants to be your friend. You could try making eye contact with her and smiling or giving her some other encouraging sign, or striking up a conversation. If you talked to her, you could probably get a better idea of how she feels.
  • Question
    How can I go about kissing another woman that I am friends with, without risking offending her or losing her friendship?
    Community Answer
    Try to bond with her by watching (preferably horror) movies together. Try to be alone with her and attempt to get closer to her face or put your arm around her waist. If she seems uncomfortabe, that is a sure sign she will not be interested in kissing you.
  • Question
    Does loneliness cause bisexuality?
    Community Answer
    No. Bisexuality is a sexual orientation and not something that is caused by any outside circumstances. It's just something you are.
  • Question
    I have many crushes on girls, and also a few on guys. I'm quite sure I'm bi, but it's hard for me to take my eyes off my crush and I like them so much. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    You should tell them how you feel! You never know what could happen until you try. Worst case scenario, they tell you they're not interested. Put yourself out there and let them know you like them.
  • Question
    My best friend is VERY religious and homophobic. She's talked in front of me before about how wrong she finds LGBT. I want to come out to her, but I don't want to lose her. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Here's the thing. Some people with religious objections to being LBGT would actually dislike someone who takes that label simply for being LBGT. On the other hand, many actually care very much for people, LBGT or otherwise, but their religious convictions keep them from supporting someone "choosing" to identify that way. It's impossible for us to know which category your friend falls in, but let's assume she's in the more thoughtful camp. If so, she'll love you no matter what. This doesn't mean she'll approve of you're "choice" (as she sees it). It's up to the two of you to figure out how to handle your differing perspectives and whether your friendship can survive this disagreement.
  • Question
    I have a crush on my bff. We have kissed, but I can't tell if she wants a real relationship or just to fool around and experiment with me. How can I tell what she wants?
    Community Answer
    You have to ask her. That's the only way.
  • Question
    My wife has being watching girl-on-girl porn, is she bi?
    Community Answer
    Not necessarily. Some people's taste in pornography has absolutely nothing to do with what they like sexually in real life. The only way to know for sure is to ask her.
  • Question
    I am a married woman but I had past relationships with women. I don't know if I'm a lesbian or bisexual. I am attracted to women that are boyish. I am training a young lady at work, she's a lesbian and I can't get rid of her. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    So I am going to suggest that you start by creating a VERY clear boundary regarding workplace relationships. Simply being attracted to a woman doesn't mean that you are or are not a lesbian. The reality is, these titles don't encompass everyone's feelings. If you're married to a man and you're attracted to him sexually, you're probably not a lesbian. You may be bisexual. The labels really aren't as important as people think they are and there's nothing wrong with feeling attraction for any other (adult) person, regardless of gender.
  • Question
    I have a crush on my female friend. She seemed a little homophobic when I talked to her about LGBTQ stuff, but she might just be trying to fit in. She seems to like girls. Should I ask her if she's bi?
    Community Answer
    There's no way to predict how she'd react to that, but if you're going to ask her, make sure you do so in private so there's no risk of her putting on an act for other people. If you haven't told her you're bi yet, start by coming out to her and see how she responds.
  • Question
    I'm 13 but I don't know if it's okay to like one of my best friends. Is it ok?
    Owl511
    Community Answer
    Yes, of course it's okay. It is okay to like anyone of any gender. Sexuality doesn't matter, all that matters is that love is love and you can't really control who you like or how much. Just respect your friend's personal space is all but otherwise yes liking a friend is just fine.
  • Question
    My friend knows that I'm bisexual because I told her, but what she doesn't know is I have a huge crush on her. I'm scared to tell her because of rejection, but I got a vibe that she could possibly be bi. What do I do?
    Madandmad
    Community Answer
    Don't ask her directly. Try to talk about this with her and try to catch something that will show you she is bi. If you really want to tell her in the end, just say it.
  • Question
    Is a woman blushing when I flirt with her a sign?
    Community Answer
    It could be, but it could also just mean she's flattered by you or she thinks you're being a good friend.
  • Question
    One of my friends stares at me all the time and when I look at her she turns away. She touches me weirdly and acts dirty near me, what should I do?
    Hazel Meehan
    Community Answer
    You should try talking to her about it. Explain exactly how you feel about the things she's doing. It may seem awkward and uncomfortable, but if you don't address the situation it will probably just keep going.
  • Question
    My friend acts like she likes me. She says she's straight, but I think she's lying. She's always making dirty jokes. Is she flirting with me?
    Community Answer
    Well, if she says she's straight, you should believe her, regardless of how she acts or what you suspect. Telling dirty jokes isn't necessarily flirting, either. Many people like to tell them with no ulterior motive other than trying to get people to laugh.
  • Question
    My best friend is straight, I think, but she always touches her hair, and once when we were little, we considered kissing. But I am confused - does she like me?
    Community Answer
    Touching her hair doesn't really mean anything, unless she only does it around you. Most of the experimenting that kids like to do doesn't really mean anything, either. If there are no bigger indicators than the things you listed, she probably only likes you as a friend.
  • Question
    How can I tell if someone is bi-curious?
    Andrew Serrano
    Top Answerer
    Honesty is the best policy. If you want to know, ask.
  • Question
    If I have a crush on my BFF. What are some clues that she may like me?
    Natalie
    Community Answer
    Her body language, how she talks to you around her friends, if she touching her hair.
  • Question
    I'm a single working professional. I'm attracted to guys, but recently I've been falling for a girl. I've been paying a lot of attention to her and she says she's happy about it. Should I continue with this?
    Owl511
    Community Answer
    If you find yourself attracted to one girl, it might not mean you like all girls. You could just be curious about your sexuality, which is completely normal for people of any age. Keep spending time with her and see where it goes. The more you get to know someone you like, the easier it is to determine your feelings.
  • Question
    I told my crush that I really like her, but she just responded with a "thank you". Since then she is acting kinda flirty and constantly making eye contact with me. Is there any chance she is interested?
    ThatOneGayBoi
    Community Answer
    She may be. If you can ask her directly, then try to do that. Maybe ask her if she wants hang out or maybe even go out.
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